Playing Games
by Green Kneesocks
Summary: Midquel to Everybody Loves Mob. Mob loves Teru, she really does, but it's hard to show it without running the risk of exploding. Luckily games make everything easier. Rating may change. Fem!Mob. MobXTeru
1. The Gum Game

Games make it easier.

Well games made everything easier. Games were how Mob learned how to type and write in hiranga and remember the forty seven prefectures of Japan. It wasn't just school stuff, though, games made other things easier, too. Like exercise. Running and jumping and catching and throwing were a lot easier in gym class than in body improvement club, for example, not that exercise wasn't worth it no matter what form it took. So, yes, games made everything easier.

Even this.

"What flavor is it?" asked Mob

"You tell me." Said Teru

Kissing was nice. Mob liked kissing, she liked it a lot. She had kissed two people, for real, in her life. One was Tome but they were broken up now, still friends though, but not the sorts of friends that kissed each other. Mob wasn't even sure how that one worked, she hadn't even known that it was possible to be friends who kissed each other but weren't in a relationship, but Teru assured her that they were not those sorts of friends. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. That was the second person that Mob had ever kissed. Teru.

"I can just guess by the color." Said Mob

"Yes, you could, but this way is much more fun." Said Teru

Their first kiss, well not either of their very first kiss but the first kiss that they had shared, had been really nice. Even if mom had scolded her later on for closing her door while she had someone in there, and also Sho said that Ritsu was severally traumatized by the whole thing. She and Teru had kissed kind of loud….but Ritsu was fine now. He said so. He said so until he told her to stop asking him if he was fine. That was good, she didn't want to traumatize anyone, especially not Ritsu. Not that she knew why Ritsu would have been traumatized in the first place. She and Teru had just been kissing.

"It is…I mean it could be….if you want to…to do this with me." Said Mob

"I'm the one who bought the gum, aren't I? The real question is, Mob, do you want to do this? We can stop whenever you want." said Teru

Kissing in the usual way. Not the way that adults kissed.

And for a while that was how they kissed. Not like how adults kissed but in the usual way. Their mouths mostly closed, everyone staying in their own space, hands staying in one place. Her arms around his shoulders, his hands around her waist or holding her face. Regular kisses. The kind of kisses which were already kind of a lot, just kind of. The kind that made Mob's aura glow bright and her hair stand up. The kind that made her even start to float away a little, but Teru was always there to keep her grounded. She was always embarrassed when she lost control of her powers like that but he said that he didn't mind. He liked it, actually, he said. Which of course made no sense what so ever. She was losing control like she did on the day they met but he didn't mind. He said that it was flattering. He said that he was flattered that he could make her come undone like that just by kissing.

A phrase which sent a deep, red, blush to her entire body.

Because of the way he said it. Deep, sort of, the kind of deep that made her whole body flush and shudder. He had been close when he said it, too, he whispered it right in her ear and she did this weird full body shudder thing. Then the lights had flickered on and off. Thank goodness that only Ritsu was home. They were at her house a lot, mom said that she just felt better that way, not that Mob knew what mom was so worried about. She didn't do things like that, she never even thought about things like that. Well, she never thought of things like that in the sense that she had not been actively planning to do things like that. She thought about things like that, more and more frequently it seemed, but she made no plans to actually go through with those thoughts.

Because she was too nervous.

Because she didn't know how.

Because she didn't know if she could keep her powers under control if she ever tried to.

And she did lose control of her powers. Right after he said that he kissed her. He kissed her like adults kissed. It was just like the time Tome tried to kiss her like that. Her room shook, her stuffed animals went flying, and she went slamming into the wall. She hadn't planned any of that, it just happened. It happened because it was just too much. It was exciting and terrifying at the exact same time. She wanted him to do it again and she wished that it had never happened. She wished for both of those things at the same time. It made no sense. She made no sense.

So she said sorry.

Then Teru said sorry.

He said that he would take it as slow as she wanted to. He said that they could ever go backwards if she wanted to. Back to what Mob did not know. They kissed. What was before kissing? Not kissing? But she didn't mind the kissing. She was used to kissing. The first few times she had kissed Tome her powers went out of control, mostly in the form of messing with the lights, but she had figured out how to control that. It was a good thing she had figured out how to stop messing with the lights when Tome kissed her when she did, too, because mom and dad were getting ready to call an electrician and have the house rewired.

They didn't need to know that the lights had gone off from kissing, though. There was no reason that they needed to know about that. None at all.

She messed with the lights after her and Teru's first kiss, too. But that was on accident. It just felt so…good. Good in the usual way and good in this new way. This new terrifying but exciting way. Mostly terrifying. For the brief moment that they had been…like that…Mob hadn't had any clue what to do. That was normal. Being clueless was her default state, like the plain background that your phone had when you just bought it, but there was a difference between being clueless about things like when to talk in a conversation and what to do when your boyfriend kisses you like adults kiss.

And she couldn't go to anyone for advice about this.

She couldn't asked her mom because, well, moms didn't need to know about this sort of thing. Mom didn't want her doing anything with Teru, she said, but then she went around and said that everything was natural and stuff like that. Then she ambushed Mob with a trip to the doctor, she hadn't even been sick, and medicine that she had to take at the exact same time every single day. So mom didn't want her doing anything, not that Mob had any plans of doing THAT any time soon, but mom also said that everything was natural and one thing led to another….so it was kind of confusing and she was not going to ask mom about this.

She certainly couldn't ask Master Reigen, either. Mostly because this was way too private, so private that she could not breathe a word of it to him. This new feeling was most likely that one they warned her about in health class. Very private, very hers, and she was not telling him about how she had no idea what to do about it or even if she wanted to do anything about it and how she even had it towards him sometimes, sometimes even when they weren't together but she was all alone and thinking about him….

So she couldn't ask him. Those were the two adults she went to when she had life questions. She was not going to ask any of her friends, even she knew that asking about this would have been awkward, so she was stuck trying to figure this new feeling out on her own. Well, not totally on her own. Teru was there, too. He was the other half of their relationship, he said, and he wanted to make sure that she was comfortable. He wanted to make sure that he wasn't being too pushy. He said that he used to be pushy with girls he had been with before, which Mob did not want to hear about, but then he also said that she was different and he was trying to be better for her and that he wanted to help her work through what he called her 'intimacy issues'.

He also made sure that she understood that he was not going to make her do anything that she wanted to do.

And she had his permission to explode at him, rip off all of his clothes, shave off all of his hair, and send him flying into the inner part of outer space again. What was the word…stratosphere. She had his permission to send him flying into the stratosphere naked and bald if he ever got pushy. Not that she would ever do that again. Not that she could even control what happened when she exploded. Not that she wanted to explode. Which was the root of the problem. She got too nervous, her powers went out of control, and she ran the risk of exploding.

So he suggested that they make a game out of it.

Mob wasn't sure what he meant by that. She liked games. School life simulators, Mario Kart, anything having to do with EVA….but he hadn't meant like that. Then he went over a million and one games that Mob had never heard of…and they all had to do with…stuff. Kissing stuff, touching stuff, not wearing clothes stuff….a lot of stuff.

They decided to go with the kissing sort of stuff.

Which was what brought them to the gum game.

The rules were simple, not that there were any rules. The way the game was played was simple. One person bought a pack of gum, chose a stick, and then two people shared said piece of gum. Not by breaking it in half, which had been Mob's initial line of thinking, but instead by passing it back and forth. Which was fun and not germy, Teru had said. He said that it was really fun. Then he did that thing where he looked away from her and rubbed the back of his head. He told her, a lot of times, that he hadn't played it that often and that she didn't have to do this if she didn't want to.

But she wanted to.

So they decided to play the gum game.

"I want to…just…promise that you won't make fun of me? Or be mad if I explode?" asked Mob as she played with the end of her braid. She eyed the pack of gum in Teru's hand. She could tell which flavor it was by the color. It was pink so it was plain gum flavored, most likely. She'd know what it was for certain if she could get a better look at the pack. But she can't. It's in Teru's hand and he's getting a stick of it out.

"Of course I'm not going to make fun of you. That would be counterproductive. I'm…I'm not that sort of person anymore…and if I ever did make fun of you for any reason then I give you permission to explode at me." Said Teru as he peeled back the foil. He tossed the foil on the ground, which was littering, but he didn't seem to care.

"…I don't want to explode. That's the whole point of this, so I don't explode. If I didn't have to worry about exploding then we could just kiss like normal people do." Said Mob

"Normal is overrated. Why be normal when you can be extraordinary?" said Teru taking her hand in his. She felt it building, the nervous sort of feeling. She let go of her braid. It began to float around her, so did the other one, kind of like she was at the pool or in the tub or otherwise submerged in a body of water.

"I don't know. Being normal is easy, I guess." Said Mob. Not that she ever wished…anymore…that she was normal. Her powers were a part of herself and she had to learn to accept them. That was what Master Reigen taught her…not that she wanted to be thinking about Master Reigen now…but now she was…but that was mean to Teru. Why was she thinking about him, kissing him, when she had her boyfriend right there? He was real, this was real, and she had no reason to be thinking about Master Reigen…

She thought about him a lot.

"Well easier isn't always better. I'd rather have you as you are, right now, then any other way." said Teru. That was from a movie. She didn't care. It sounded so good coming from him. He was close, now, so close. He was so close that she could count his eyelashes if she wanted to. One…two…three…

"Tell me if I do something that you don't like…or something that you do." Said Teru and, yes, she just lost count. She loved it when he said that. He said that whenever he was going to kiss her, really kiss her. There were hello kisses that they shared whenever they were together in person, goodnight kisses that they shared at the end of dates, and just because kisses that were quick and stolen while the sat in her living room watching a movie or out in the world where kissing wasn't socially appropriate.

He always said that when they were alone.

The times when they were in her room sitting together on her futon. Both of them keeping an eye on the open door and an ear out for approaching footsteps. The rare times, too, when they were at his apartment alone together. Mom always made her bring Ritsu when she went to visit Teru at his apartment and Ritsu always brought Sho. Sometimes Sho would get tired of the 'cold war' as he called it and he and Ritsu would go somewhere together. Not that Mob wanted to think of what the two of them would do together. Ritsu was way too young to do kissing things. Even if Sho was the love of his life. Not that Mob thought too much about her little brother and his boyfriend when she and Teru did kissing things….that would have been weird. As appealing as the idea of two boys being in love was, Tome was a wealth of great manga suggestions, it was different when it was her little brother. Even if she did, still, maybe like Sho a little…

Don't think about Sho.

Don't think about Sho or his freckles or how funny he is or how warm he is or how he gives really nice hugs...because that's wrong. That's very wrong. That's the most wrong thing in the whole, entire, world. Worse than the last EVA Rebuild movie. Worse than the weird fat free milk they sold at some places. Worse than, even, that weird toothpaste flavored soda that Master Reigen drank sometimes. Gross. Thoughts like that are even grosser than root beer. You have a boyfriend and it's not your brother's boyfriend.

Ick. Weird intrusive thoughts about boys she knew. Those had been getting worse, too, much worse. There were ones that made sense, like the one where Master Reigen rubbed her back…or the one where she and Teru were trapped at the end of instrumentality together because he had rejected instrumentality and she had rejected it too to be with him…that was something that made sense. What didn't make sense is the one about her and Sho and they ran a hamster sanctuary together, it also had cats, and they held hands all the time…that one did not make sense. Then there were the crazy sorts of dreams and thoughts that made her Google signs of insanity….like the one about her and Serizawa sharing an umbrella….

She hadn't been able to go into work for a couple days after that one.

The thoughts about girls were just as bad. She had this one weird dream where she and Tsubomi were the only two people in class, everyone else had gotten sick, and then the angel attack alarm sounded but they didn't have time to get to a shelter, Mob wasn't an EVA pilot in this one, so they were trapped but Mob kept Tsubomi safe and then Tsubomi had been so grateful that she kissed Mob, like adults kissed, and then they were girlfriends…

Mom hadn't let her miss any school because of that. She said that until Mob told her what was wrong she was not staying home. Mob, of course, did not want to share the particulars of this dream with her mother so she just said that she had a weird dream and mom said that dreams were no excuse to miss school. She said 'honestly, Shigeko' which meant that she was cross.

"Hey? Mob, what's up? If you don't want to do this-" said Teru

"No, I do, I was just thinking….weird thoughts. I still want to just…if I explode I'm sorry." Said Mob not wanting to get into what she had been thinking about. That would not go over well…and also he would not reject instrumentality….right? She wouldn't unless he did…and why was she still thinking about EVA?

Probably because that was what they were supposed to be doing right now. Watching EVA.

Instead they were out in the woods.

"Shigeko, you won't explode. If you think that you are then we can stop and if you do, well, I've lived through it twice now and it's not like there's anything out here that you can hurt. You're cholorkinetic, right? I mean, you did grow that big tree…thing…downtown after all. There's nothing alive out here but us and the plants…and some animals, but maybe but they'll run away." Said Teru. Mob nodded.

"OK…but still…I mean I want to but I don't want to…to…I don't know what to do when we…" said Mob playing with the hem of her dress. Teru laced his fingers in hers.

"Just pass the gum back and forth, that's all." Said Teru. Then he popped the stick of gum into her mouth. It was good that he went first, and not just because the first couple of chews were the hardest. It was better because then she could follow his lead. She didn't know what to do, not really, well she knew what to do in the theoretical sense, like how she knew what to do for a snakebite or if she got stuck in quicksand, but she had never tried this in life…successfully…like how she had never actually sucked out the poison from a snakebite or climbed out of quicksand. But she could just use her powers if she ever got stuck in quicksand. But where was there even quicksand in Japan? She'd have to go to the jungle to ever…not that she had any plans of-

Oh.

It was actually strawberry flavored.

Not plain bubblegum flavored like she had thought.

And also Teru's tongue was in her mouth.

That was a thing that was happening right now.

Well then.

One hand was in hers, the other was at the back of her head. She knew that her hair was doing the floaty thing still. She knew that he was the only thing keeping her from floating away. His aura was around hers. Gold colored. Cold colored on top of pink and blue. She leaned into him. He passed her the gum but he was still…it was like he was taking stock, making sure that she had all of her teeth or something. It was like going to the dentist but…more fun. Not that she enjoyed going to the dentist. This was nice, though.

And a lot.

Because as nice as it was it was still a lot.

The feel of him…and he had pulled her closer now. She was still trying to float away but he had her stuck to him. He was sort of half laying down and she was half laying down on top of him. His hand had left hers and was now pressed against her back. It was warm. And nice. And a lot. The grass beneath them began to grow higher. The grass around them, too. Mob's eyes were closed but she could still see the light from behind her eyelids. Well she did, something was blocking a lot of the sun. She could feel the plants around her with her powers. She had made new branches grow from the trees around them.

Going outside had been a very good idea.

Because she wasn't breaking anything or anyone. This was better than being inside of her house or his apartment. There were so many breakables around…and people. They were all alone out here. They had flown here, not walked, so there wasn't even a path for people to take. They were well and truly alone…

The thought is exciting and terrifying.

They could do whatever they wanted. Nobody was around. No doors or walls or siblings or parents. Just them. Just the two of them all alone out there…him and her…her toes curled in her shoes. Then the ground shook. He either didn't notice or didn't care.

She passed the gum back.

She lingered there, like he did. Now it was her turn to be the dentist. That should be the name of this game, dentist. Kind of like doctor…not that Mob wanted to play that any time soon…even if they were alone…but that would have been way too much. Too much too soon. Even this was kind of a lot…

He tasted like strawberries.

And it wasn't gross.

That was something else that Mob had been worried about. Spit was gross and germy. Kissing was nice, though, even though it involved a lot of spit. Maybe this was why they called it swapping spit. Well this was nice, not the least bit gross. Nice, actually…way nicer than she had thought it would be…he pulled her closer. She hadn't even known that such a thing was possible. She was more on top pf him, now. Her skin was warm where it touched his. Her dress was kind of up, now. She could feel his pants against her thighs. She didn't dare risk using her powers to fix it. That could have been…she was in a very tentative place with them right now. She was just barely holding on. The ground was shaking and the plants around her were growing but she had no lost total control. Not yet.

Then he shifted under her.

Both of his hands were in her hair, now. He was playing with it. He as laying down even though she knew that the ground was lumpy and uneven. One of his legs was in between hers…she wondered if he did that on purpose….and that was already becoming a little too much…and the shifted under her again….and they broke apart for air…not that they hadn't been before but not for his long…and one of them had swallowed the gum at some point…and he was kissing her again even though the gum had been long swallowed….then they broke apart…

"You're extraordinary, you know that?" said Teru. He was red, very red. A deep sort of red that reminded Mob of her early days in the Body Improvement Club when she would push herself too far and then pass out. He didn't look like he was going to pass out, though. He looked very happy. His eyes were wide and the black part was really big, so big that she could barely see the colored back. His hair was floating too, well the spiking part was moving in the invisible breeze of his powers, and he was smiling a lot, too. He didn't even care that a layer of their spit was on him.

She didn't care about that, either.

But she did care that they had stopped. She wanted that to last forever. That was…good. Scary. Exhilarating. Wet. Strawberry flavored. He was just looking at her, now. He was staring and she was staring right back. It had been good…right? She thought that it had been good….but she had no idea what counted as good. Was it like art where good was in the eye of the beholder…or the mouth of the kisser? Or was it like anime where you either had good taste or bad taste, according to Tome. Not that Mob wanted to think about Tome. Or taste. Or how Tome wanted to do this with her back when they were dating and what if they had done this when they were dating? Would they have still broken up? Would she have even gotten to become Teru's girlfriend? Would that kiss have been better, then, for him?

He said that she was extraordinary.

That could have been a good thing or a bad thing.

And he hadn't said anything else.

Oh. It was her turn to talk.

"That was good. I thought that it was good…but I've never done anything like this before. Well my girlfriend wanted to but she's not my girlfriend anymore but we didn't do this so I don't know if that was any good for you and-" said Mob

Then Teru leaned up and kissed her again.

It was different without gum. Gum was an excuse, that was the point of the game, but without gum it was just kissing. It was just kissing and…and it was nice…but…a lot…but nice…and she wasn't floating this time. She was firmly on the ground. He was holding her around the waist, now, and she was on the ground and he was kissing her and-

He sounded like he was hurt.

She tried to pull away but he just rose up to meet her. They broke apart a little for air, just a little, and then he kissed her again. Not as sloppy this time, just…slower. Less frantic. He was sitting up, more, now. He had one hand on the back of her head and the other on her arm. He sounded like he was hurt but…but if he was hurt then he would have stopped. But he didn't seem like he was planning on stopping at any point. No. He was still kissing her.

Both of his hands were in her hair, now. Hers had just been sort of there on either side of him. She had been trying to keep herself stable, she didn't trust her powers for that, but she wondered if she was supposed to touch him. Not like that just…like he was doing. Was that what she was supposed to do? She didn't know. She had seen people kiss on TV and in manga but it was never this…long. Or wet. Or loud. She had seen people kissing in real life, too, not that she had been trying to. People just sort of forgot that she was there.

Not that she made it a habit to watch people kissing.

Because that would have been an invasion of privacy. She was not a nosy person.

But maybe she should have because then she would have had some vague idea of what she was supposed to do with her hands. Usually she just put then around his shoulders, it felt natural like that. But then she couldn't brace herself…maybe if she put more weight on her legs.

She shifted downwards.

He stopped kissing her.

He scooted back quickly and she toppled over.

"Oh shit! Sorry!" he said. He used his powers to pull her up.

"I'm ok, Teru." Said Mob as she brushed the leaves out of her hair with her hand. Where had all of these leaves come from? There weren't that many on the ground before….she looked up.

Wow. Those were some tall trees.

"I'm sorry that was just….I'm sorry." Said Teru. Mob looked at him. He was sitting weird, he had his knees drawn up to his chest. She sat like that sometimes too, when something was wrong, though. Wait…oh no…had she…had she messed up?

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I messed up or I-" said Mob

"No! I mean, no, you were good. Really good. Too good. That's the um…yeah. Hey, let's get going. It's getting late and…um….you wouldn't want your brother to come looking for you. Besides, we…we never finished the movie. The blue haired girl is still the villain, right?" said Teru as he still sat like that. Mob didn't know why, it didn't look comfortable at all. At least she hadn't messed up. That was the good thing. At least he had known what he was doing…which was a good thing…even though he had kissed another girl like that….

Jealousy was a bad feeling.

So Mob instead chose to focus on what else he said. Rei was not the villain in the least bit and he needed to know or the entire movie, no, the series would make no sense.

So that was what they talked about on the flight back to his apartment. Ritsu and Sho were waiting there for them. They had left to get snacks, they did that sometimes, but they didn't always come back. That was why they left. Well that was why Sho made them leave. Now they were back and Teru's couch had been turned into a fort and Ritsu's aura was super visible.

At least he didn't say anything mean to Teru. Or ask Mob where they had been. Or what they had been up to. Or why she was so red. Or why she couldn't meet anyone's eyes. Or why her hair was so messy.

Nobody said anything about anything. Ritsu just made his Ritsu face at Teru and Teru looked kind of nervous. Sho was laughing about something, Mob didn't know what, but that was normal for Sho. Who knew what was happening in his head at any given moment. Sometimes it was like he was laughing at a joke only he understood. He didn't say what was so funny, though, so Mob figured that was the case.

Mob didn't laugh, though, even though she felt like laughing. She didn't know why. It was like a combination of happy laugher and nervous laughter. She didn't laugh, though, because she wasn't Sho and she didn't just laugh at nothing. Laughing would earn her some questions that she did not want to answer, especially not if they were asked by her little brother. No. This was hers and hers alone. And Teru's.

And it had been really nice.

It was a fun game.


	2. Commercial Break

Broadcast TV had a lot of commercials.

That was this game, the commercial break game.

"Do socks count as one thing or two things?" asked Mob

"Whatever you want."

Mob kicked one of her socks off. These were her nice pair, the pink ones with the toes that looked like cats and the lace at the top. These socks cost as much for one pair as an entire pack did at Costco. They were nice, not that things from Costco weren't nice. Mom said that things from Costco were just as good as things that did not come from Costco. That's where mom was, Costco, and Ritsu was there to too help carry. That was what Mom's text had said, anyway, and asked what Mob wanted from Costco.

"I think one thing only, because they don't connect at all….I mean unless they're all balled up….I mean…you know what I mean, right?" asked Mob even though she didn't even fully know what she meant. All she knew was that her foot was cold, the TV was loud, her face was red, the couch was squishy, and Teru was very, very, very close. Not close enough to touch but still very close.

"I understand, don't worry. Remember, this is at your pace. We can stop right now…if you want to…but if you want to keep going…I mean I don't care either way…well I do care because this is with you and-and-and you shouldn't ball your socks up. That ruins the elastic." Said Teru as he kicked off one of his socks. His were dark blue with yellow stars on them. She held her foot next to his. His was bigger, and his nails were nicer. Shinier, mostly, and the nails were rounded down to perfect ovals. Mob's were normal colored and kind of jagged because she didn't do anything special to them.

Maybe she should have.

Because he was going to see more of her than anyone had ever seen before. Well except for all the people in the room when she had been born…and people at the beach when she had been a baby….and her parents because the used to give her baths when she was little….and Ritsu because they used to take baths together when they were little….not that she wanted to think about her little brother right now. That would have been wrong, and illegal. The wrongness part went in front of the illegal part. No. She did not want to even think of her brother at all while she was doing…whatever it was that she was doing.

Just playing a game.

That was all.

"Ok. I'll tell mom. Not now, though, she's at Costco…and also we're…doing this…and I don't want to talk to my mom right now…or anybody who's not you." Said Mob. She tried to watch TV. She had no idea what show this was or what channel this was or anything, really, besides the fact that she was only wearing one sock. She wondered how long it would be until the next commercial break.

"Same. The world was built for two after all." Said Teru. Mob giggled a little. That was from a movie, too. It was nice, though, a nice thing to say. A nice idea. The world was built for two. A world for just the two of them where they could do whatever they wanted and not have to worry about getting caught and getting scolded and moms, Mob's mom anyway, getting cross…a world built for two.

The next commercial break.

Mob kicked off her other sock. Now she had on no socks at all. Neither did he. She had never seen him without socks on…and why was that making her so nervous. She hadn't seen a lot of people without their socks on, that didn't mean that it would be a big thing if she were to see them barefooted. Maybe it was because they weren't going to just sit there without socks on all day. She still had on the rest of her layers, so did he.

But it had been a good idea to start with socks.

Socks were neutral. Socks were small. Socks were just socks and bare feet were just bare feet.

"Do you….are you ok? With this I mean. We can stop whenever you want." Said Teru. He said that a lot, that she could say no to him and that they could stop and do something else. It wasn't that she didn't want to…she just didn't want to mess up. Mess up or explode. Not that she was liable to explode right now. She felt…nervous…but her powers weren't acting up yet and the explody feeling usually came when they were kissing. Not holding hands or anything like that, not that she had done much more than hold hands, and not that she was planning on doing much more than holding hands, either.

Because that would have been a lot.

Being naked was a lot, too, but not as much of…a lot.

Being naked was like getting a family sized box of cereal. Touching was like…was like getting one of those big Costco sized boxes of cereal. The kind that took a while to finish and then by the end you were so, so, so sick of Hello Kitty cereal but you had to eat it because you picked it out and…

Maybe Mob should have gone to Costco with mom and Ritsu.

She wouldn't be this nervous if she had. That made no sense, though. She had no reason to be this nervous. She still had on all of her layers but her socks. So did he. And it wasn't like they were going to do…anything. That was another one of the rules. Teru said that he absolutely was not going to touch her at all or even try to. He said that if he touched her then she had his permission to explode at him. Not that she wanted to, or could control when she exploded, and this was an apartment building anyway so if she exploded she could hurt a lot of people.

Maybe they should have been outside again.

But it was wet out. It was wet and cold out so they couldn't go play the gum game out in the woods. That was why they were here. They were alone, they were so rarely left alone, and Mob decided to go to Teru's house because she didn't want mom to be cross with her or Ritsu to spy on her, and she could sense him when he was spying, because he thought that Teru was going to be mean to her or something like that.

As if Teru could ever be mean.

He was nice. No matter what they did he told her that she could say no whenever and he would stop. That was really nice of him. He'd be disappointed, though, if she said that she wanted to stop playing. Not that she wanted to stop playing. Maybe just…take a breather. She didn't watch a lot of broadcast TV, she had the internet for watching things, and she had forgotten how many commercial breaks there were. Teru said that she could skip a break, or all of them, or they could just do something else. She wouldn't disappoint him, though, and she did want to…and he wanted to do this, too. This game had been his idea. She wondered how he came up with all of these.

But then she stopped wondering.

Because she did not want to think of him, here, on this couch with anyone else. It hurt, thinking of that. He had done all of this stuff, maybe even everything, and she had done pretty much nothing. She'd probably be bad at it, whatever it was the came after this, because she didn't even know what to do. She was probably bad at what they were doing right now. He wanted to see her naked. He didn't say that out loud but that was the purpose to this game. He wanted to see what she looked like without any clothes on whatsoever.

So did she.

Well not herself, she could look at herself naked anytime she wanted to, well not ANYTIME because she had school and stuff…but if she wanted to she could see herself naked. She meant that she wanted to see Teru naked…sort of. She thought about it. Him. What he looked like naked…not that Mob had NO IDEA what boys looked like naked, she took the same health class that everyone else in Japan did. She had a little brother, too, though they hadn't taken a bath together in…eight or nine years….ick. No. She did not want to think about her brother while she was doing…while she was about to be doing something.

Not that they had to do anything.

He said that they could do as much or as little as she wanted. That wasn't reassuring. That meant that she had to be the one to decide. She had no idea what he wanted…well he wanted to see her naked…but what else? What came after? Well she knew what came after but what were the steps that came in between being naked with someone and then having….that…with someone?

She had no idea.

Her thoughts never went that far.

Her thoughts, the ones she had when she was all alone, never went as far as…that. Usually just kissing ad hand holding and being told that she was loved. Usually. Those were the types of thoughts that snuck up on her while she was in class or at work or eating dinner or doing her homework or things like that. There were other thoughts, too, that came later. When she was all alone. When she was laying down in bed at night all alone and she only had the darkness and her thoughts…and her thoughts would go to…people….

And things.

Kissing things. Touching things. Undressed things. Things that Mob wasn't too sure about but knew that they were supposed to feel so, so, so good. Things that she knew that you were only supposed to want to do with the person you loved. Things that, for some reason, she thought about doing with almost everyone not in her family that she knew.

Like the times when she would sit at the little office table across from Master Reigen and just watch him talk. He always moved his hands when he talked. She would watch his hands as he told her about something, something that she probably should have been listening to, and she would just…in her mind he would just…just reach over and pull her into a kiss and then just reach up and…at that point the house would have been shaking and she would have been shaking too. At that point she would have to stop doing…that…because people were waking up and asking her what was wrong and she had to lie and say that she had a bad dream…and she hated telling lies…

But nobody needed to know about that.

About this weird feeling she got, this weird and good feeling…this terrifying and exciting feeling….that she got sometimes…that she got right now. That she had right now. She and Teru weren't even doing anything, not even holding hands, but she still had that same feeling. She felt like…like the world really was made for the two of them. That the two of them had rejected instrumentality and now they were all alone in the wasteland that was the world…but they weren't worried about food and water and shelter or anything like that…instead they were….well in real life they weren't kissing…but that would have been nice…

But one of the rules was no touching.

"I'm fine, Teru. I want to…I want to play this." said Mob. It had been a while. She played with the hem of her hoodie. Well it was his hoodie but he had lent it to her a while ago and she didn't feel like giving it back. He wasn't wearing her hoodie though, no, he was wearing his own. Hers was pink and the hood looked like a cat head so maybe that was why he didn't complete the jacket exchange. That was important when you were in a couple with someone, trading jackets. She and Tome had tried to switch hoodies back when they were together….and Ritsu and Sho had traded jackets a while ago…

She liked wearing Teru's hoodie.

But it was her top layer…unless she wanted to take off her skirt…but that would have been too much. Too much for right now. She maybe should have taken off her hoodie before her socks…but that would have meant that she would have had to have taken off her shirt and then her undershirt and that would have been a lot.

Well not really.

Because she was still…her.

She was still her and he had probably been in this situation with lots and lots of girls and those girls were probably a lot prettier than Mob. Girls who actually needed to wear bras, not just undershirts. Girls who looked like girls, not girls who could pass as boys so well that Teru thought that they were boys when they met and then they had a great big fight and-

But that was then.

When they met they had fought, he thought that she was a boy, but that was over. Everything in the past was over. Mob needed to stop being jealous. He was with her, now. He had chosen to be with her. Her and only her, not any of those other girls that he had been with before. Only her. The world was built for two after all…that was a really good movie.

Movies didn't have commercial breaks.

But TV shows did.

Mob pulled her hoodie up over her head quickly. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. Her hands were shaking. A book from his shelf floated by. She didn't dare look at him. He tossed his hoodie off. It flew past her and hit the wall. She didn't look at him even though she knew that he was still fully dressed. She had seen him without a hoodie on before. What was with her?

"You really love that shirt, don't you? I mean, why wouldn't you? You look wonderful in purple. You look wonderful in anything." said Teru. Mob jumped, a little, when he said that. She jumped and got stuck for just a second before she let herself drift back down onto his couch.

"…yes. I like this shirt a lot. My mom says that I shouldn't, because EVA isn't for girls, and also it's technically Ritsu's shirt, but I like it." Said Mob. She played with the hem of her shirt, now. That would be next. It would be either shirt or skirt. Her shirt, definitely, because she also had an undershirt on and it was kind of like a tank top.

She wished she had worn something nicer.

Not that she had anything that was, well, nice. Nothing black or lacy or red or…well…anything. She had white underwear and white undershirts. She also had a set that was pink, one that was purple, and one that had cats on it. She never thought that she would ever be in a position where someone would even have the chance to see her undressed…that and mom bought her clothes and she could not ask her mom to buy her anything from one of those stores that sold underwear. Pretty underwear, the kind that was designed to be seen. She couldn't go to those kinds of stores on her own, either. Too much. Too much that was new, too much that was embarrassing, and too much…planning…behind it.

That was the kind of underwear you wore when you planned on having someone else see it.

This hadn't been planned. Well not by her. Teru had been the one to suggest the game. Mob had nothing to suggest. Well nothing that she could share with him. She didn't know any games and what she wanted…she couldn't ask him for what she wanted. She didn't even fully know what she wanted. She knew what she thought about. The two of them after instrumentality…or just the two of them in her room and he picks her up and sits her on her desk and kisses her…

The picture on the TV broke up and went to bars.

She needed to stop thinking about that. About him. About what they could do…she needed to stop because she could end up losing control of her powers if not herself. She might have said something awkward like 'Teru can you pick me up and put me on your desk and kiss me?' which was definitely awkward. There was a way to talk, a way to ask for things, and she did not know the way to ask him to do that.

And she could not gather up the courage to do that, either.

She could barely gather up the courage to take off her shirt at the next commercial break.

"Well I think that you wear it better than he ever could." Said Teru. He was looking at her now, really looking at her. She tugged her shirt down. It felt like she was already undressed.

"If you're uncomfortable we can-" said Teru

"Teru, I know. If I'm uncomfortable I'll tell you. I'm…I'm not all the way comfortable and I don't want to stop. I want…I don't know what I want. I feel really…nervous…right now." Said Mob

"You don't have to be. I won't make you do anything." Said Teru

"I know. You said that already, too." Said Mob. He got sort of quiet after that and Mob wondered if she had done something wrong. Maybe she had. There were so many pitfalls, more so than even in that Pitfall game, and she had a habit of falling head first into all of them. She was always saying something wrong…

"I'm sorry if I'm being…annoying. I just want to make sure that we're both on the same page. This is no place for miscommunication, trust me. I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to mess US up. That's why I want to know what I'm going at your pace." Said Teru

"What about your pace?" asked Mob. It could not just be about her and what she wanted. She assumed that Teru wanted to do, well, everything but she had never asked. It was wrong of her to assume that he wanted everything. She'd heard that about boys her whole life, that they were only after one thing. That thing was…sex…the word felt weird and kind of dirty but also exciting in her mind….they wanted sex but…but in her experience they also wanted love.

Because it didn't make any sense for one gender to only want sex and the other one to only want love.

Not that she was going to bring this up to her mother or anything, mom was always saying that boys only wanted one thing, but Mob knew that boys also wanted loved. Girls could want…sex…too. Tome wanted it and back then Mob was one hundred percent certain that she was not ready. That was months ago and while Mob knew that she wasn't ready for, well, everything…there were still some things that she was ready for.

She also knew that she had to make sure that Teru was ready for all the same things that she was.

Even though she was ready for very little, if the conversations she had overheard and the things they told her about in health class were any indication. She was, however, ready to…well she was curious about…it was fine as long as they didn't touch. She had no idea how to touch someone…like that. A boy someone. It would be easier to do things like that with a girl someone. She was a girl and she knew what to do for herself.

Not that she did things like that all that often.

But if Teru had been a girl then…she would have still been nervous…if they were going to do any touching stuff…but she would at least have had some idea of what to do. She didn't know what to do if Teru asked her to touch his…

She was out of her depth.

"My pace?" he asked. His voice broke when he asked. That happened to boys, sometimes, and it was perfectly natural. They said so in health class. He was embarrassed, though, it looked like. He was rubbing the back of his neck and looking around the room. He didn't need to be so embarrassed, Mob didn't care what he sounded like, just that he still said nice things to her and stuff.

"Yes. Your pace. You matter too, Teru." Said Mob simply. He couldn't rest his eyes on her for very long. He still craned his neck up and looked around the room. Mob watched him, her eyes lingering where his would rest sometimes.

"I want…well I would like to…I mean…I have no idea if you've ever done…anything…before. I mean, you said that you and your girlfriend hadn't ever…and I'm your first real boyfriend…and it's different anyway between two girls…not that I would know anything about that! I mean, in the theoretical sense. I know in theory! It was for research! I just…I'm going to stop talking now." Said Teru. That was a good thing. He said a lot and it was a lot to process. She still watched him. He still looked away from her.

"Ok." Said Mob

"I mean…it's not like I…I mean there are things that I want to do in theory but…" said Teru

"In theory?" asked Mob. That had been a very short pause from talking. She was still processing what he had said before. Now she also had to process what he was saying now. That was a lot to process.

"I mean…I know what happens but I just…I mean there are some things that I've done and that I would like to do again….with you I mean! Not that we ever have…or that I would ever ask you to…" said Teru

"You can ask me whatever you want, Teru. I might not say yes but you can still ask. I like it when people just tell me things. I'm bad at figuring out what people mean, sometimes, when they talk. Talking is just kind of complicated and I like it when people are direct." Said Mob

"You're right, you're so right. I mean, if you're too immature to talk about it then you're too immature to…not that I would ever ask to have that with you! I mean, unless you want to. I just…I would prefer it if you would ask me first. I don't want to put any pressure on you. I know that I've done more than you have and that's why I don't want to pressure you. You're…you're someone who matters to me. I lo-I really like you and I just don't want to scare you off. I mean, yes, there are so many things that I want to do with you but…" said Teru. Mob watched him. He took a deep breath.

"But I don't want to scare you off. I don't want to scare you off and…and I want it to be good for you, too, when we actually…I mean if! IF! That's a big if. I just…I don't want to push you to do anything that you don't want to do. That's why you broke up with your last girlfriend and the things that girls do aren't like the things that guys and girls do…not that I know that much about what two girls do together or anything! Just from…movies…art movies!" said Teru

She still watched him. He had said a lot, that he didn't want to push her. Well she didn't want to push him, either…or move too slowly. He had done…stuff…before. He knew what to do. He knew a lot of things. He even, somehow, knew what two girls did…oh! Oh. Right. Boys were always looking at that stuff. Well girls did too, she had seen Tome's between the mattress and box spring manga collection, but girls had legitimate books of literature and art. Boys just sort of…watched people do it.

Which Mob did not get. What was the point of watching people have sex if you didn't know why they were having sex together in the first place? What was the glue that held their relationship together? What was their history? Sex was something that you did when you were in love so why not watch the people fall in love? Well, she thought that sex was for people who were in love. She also heard that sometimes people just met up and had it. Total strangers. They just met up on the internet and stuff and had sex. Just for fun.

Mob did not think that she could do that.

Because for all the weird thoughts she had about people she knew, and it was always people she knew, she wouldn't actually go through with any of it. What little she did think about, anyway. Not the…main event…because that was way too much…but even the things that she did think about…she could barely even think about doing them in real life with her own boyfriend. How did people just meet up and…and just do that?

Mob did not understand people sometimes.

"I'm a virgin." He said suddenly. Mob blinked. That was…why was she relieved? It wasn't any of her business what he got up to before they got together. But still, it was…she didn't have an act to follow, if that was how the statement worked. It was like when your shows updated and you saw a really good episode of something, so good, the most good that when you sat down to watch an episode of something else you were bored because you knew how good anime could be.

That was why she couldn't watch TV for a while after an EVA marathon.

"Oh. Ok." Said Mob because, well, what else could she say? That she was relieved that she wasn't the show that you put on when you were done watching EVA?

But human beings were not episodes of EVA. Human beings were human beings and it was unfair to compare one to another. They had both kissed other people and Mob knew that if she ever kissed anyone after him she wouldn't compare the next person to Teru…because that would have been mean…

And also she couldn't think of anyone else who she wanted to kiss and would kiss her back.

"I'm going to assume that you're also…I mean not that you aren't attractive! I just…from what you've told me-" said Teru

"I'm a virgin. I've never had sex with anyone before. I haven't done anything with anyone else but you." Said Mob

"But…we haven't done anything. I mean….what do you consider to be 'doing something'? Just so that we're on the same page." Said Teru. Now it was Mob's turn to be nervous. She considered everything after kissing to be 'doing something' but could she just…say that? How were things classified? Did it not count until you were naked? Until you were touching the other person…there? Until you...fit together? Where was the line?

Maybe she should just be honest. Honesty was the bets policy, Master Reigen said so.

"Anything isn't kissing. Regular kissing, I mean, not gum game kissing. That was something." Said Mob

"That makes sense. Yes, you're right. It was something." Said Teru. They were quiet again. Mob still looked at him. He was looking back at her, now. There was still space between them. Lots of space, a whole couch pillow's worth of space. That was because one of the rules of the game was that he would not touch her.

Oh!

The game!

She had forgotten. They had been talking and she had totally forgotten about what they were doing. He was probably so disappointed. He did want to see her…not dressed…and she had just totally forgotten. She reached down to the hem of her shirt and pulled it up. Not quickly, not quickly at all, because she needed time to prepare herself mentally. Nobody had seen her that undressed since she was little. Just an undershirt and a skirt.

But what if he didn't like the way she looked?

She stopped pulling her shirt up. She rested her hands against her belly button. He could see her undershirt now, it was white, and that was a lot. Maybe she should have just bought a bra and worn it even though she didn't need it. Mom said that she was still too young for a bra. Old enough to have to take medicine every single day so that she didn't have a baby because 'one thing led to another'.

Which Mob could sort of understand, now.

Not that anything would lead to anything when it came to her. She had been worried about nothing. She still looked like a boy. That was why she could still fit into Ritsu's EVA shirt. She still looked like a boy and Teru would think so, too, and then he would want to do this with some other girl and then-

"Why did you stop?" asked Teru quietly. Very quietly. So quietly that she almost hadn't heard him. He was staring at her, now. At her stomach where she had pulled her shirt up. He was red, again, and he had taken the couch pillow that had been the line between them and was sitting with it in his lap.

"Um….I just-" said Mob

"Not that you have to keep going! I mean, you can stop whenever you want to." Said Teru

"I know that I can. I just…I missed the last commercial break so I thought that I would…do this…but if I do you might…please promise that you won't make fun of me!" said Mob. Now he was making eye contact again. He gave her a long look, one that she could not decipher.

It was almost like the looks that Ritsu gave Sho when he did Sho things, like taste hamster food to see what it was like or pick up park rabbits and try to take them home. The rabbits didn't like that. They didn't like that at all….Sho had gotten bitten and scratched and Ritsu looked at him just like Teru was looking at him now.

"Mob…Shigeko…why would I make fun of you? You're my girlfriend." Said Teru slowly like he thought that she didn't speak Japanese. Which she did. She got a score of eighty one in modern Japanese…but this was not the time to compare test scores. She said the wrong thing again and now he thought that she was dumb. She was his girlfriend and he had to be nice to her, he was right. Well he didn't HAVE to be nice to anyone but she would not have agreed to be his girlfriend if he was still that mean person that he had been when they met.

"Just…when we met you thought that I was a boy…" said Mob

"That was because you were wearing a boy's uniform…and also it did not flatter you one bit." Said Teru

"Flatter me?" asked Mob. Teru reached out but then pulled his hand back like it was on fire. Which is wasn't. Mob did a lot of things on accident but making fire was not one of them. That would have been awful.

"Your…the way you look. It did nothing for you. Also your hair was pinned up…God I love your hair….so in my…in the state that I was in I saw the short hair and the uniform and thought that you were a guy. Obviously, under normal circumstances, there is no mistaking you for a guy." Said Teru

"Because my hair is long and I wear a lot of pink?" said Mob. Teru shook his head.

"No, not that. Just the way you're…built. Yes, that's a respectful way to say it." Said Teru. He nodded after he said that. Mob nodded too even though she had no idea what it was that they were nodding about.

Mob still didn't get it, though, and another commercial break had gone by. She wondered how long it would be before mom asked her where she was. She wondered how long it would be before Ritsu stated wondering where she was. He wasn't mean to Teru outright, which was progress, but he still said that he didn't trust Teru. Mob knew what that meant, he didn't trust her, and he thought that she was too dumb to run her own life. She was the big sister, not the little sister, and she didn't need Ritsu to take care of her like she was a child. She knew what he would do. He'd come home and wonder where she was and then he would go looking for her and then he'd want to hang out with them, which normally would have been nice, but if he came over now then the game would be over, because they were brother and sister, and even if they weren't she didn't want an audience of more than Teru, so really she might have had very little time and there was a certain sort of excitement to Teru seeing her like that, and now she was lifting more and more light things with her powers because she was getting so worked up and-

She pulled her shirt off.

She tossed it in the pile with their hoodies.

And she crossed her arms over her chest.

He didn't say anything.

That could have been good or bad.

"Promise me that you won't…make fun of-" said Mob. This had been a bad idea. This had been a terrible idea. This had been the worst idea in the history of ideas. This was a worse idea then when she and Ritsu had been little and tried making curry by themselves. Or the time she tried to bring that stray cat home in her backpack. Or the time when-

He tossed his shirt off.

And he wasn't wearing an undershirt underneath.

Now it was her turn to stare.

"I know it's not nearly equivalent-" said Teru. Mob nodded. He was right. The rules of the game said that they had to be equal. She still had her undershirt on. He didn't. His own undershirt, a boy's undershirt. Of course he wouldn't have one of hers on. He hadn't been wearing one that day, maybe because he was just in a T-shirt. He wasn't dressed up that much today, he hadn't planned on going out because of the weather…so they stayed in and did this…

Rules of the game.

They had to be equal.

"You're right." Said Mob. She gathered all of her courage and pulled her undershirt off.

"You don't-! I mean I wasn't asking you to-" said Teru. Mob crossed her arms in front of herself. She wasn't wearing a shirt. She was shirtless in a place that wasn't her room or the bathroom. Her skin began to get goosebumps. It was cold in her. She held her arms around herself more tightly.

It was cold in there.

"Oh. Well we weren't even, anyway." Said Mob. She stared at him. She had never seen a boy without a shirt on unless she was at the pool or the beach. This was….not new…but new from him…of course she had seen him totally naked before….when they fought…

This was different.

It was different sitting on the couch in his new apartment without shirts on. It was mutual, for one thing, and it was private, for another. This apartment was a world built for two. They could do literally whatever they wanted in this apartment. Literally anything.

Exciting. Terrifying.

He was looking at her. At her chest, specifically, but she was keeping it covered. Not that she had anything there to cover. A thought. Her skirt was next. Then her underwear. Oh she should have worn tights or leggings or something today even though those were so uncomfortable. She didn't like to have anything resting up her thighs and in between her legs like that.

Something crashed to the ground. It came from the kitchen. Her aura flared. Oh no. She had broken something and she had ruined their entire game…thing…and now he would-

"Forget it, all of my dishes are plastic anyway. Just…forget it…." Said Teru. Mob wondered what he was staring at. It wasn't like she had anything worth staring at. She knew what she was staring at. He had freckles. Down his shoulders and, presumably, across his back he had freckles. Not a lot of them but…freckles.

Don't think about Sho.

She had wondered, before, if Sho was covered in freckles. His face was, his neck was, his arms were, so maybe the rest of him was…she had imagined, before, figuring out if he was covered in freckles. Him. Her. But she always banished those thoughts from her mind as soon as they intruded. She could not and would not think about Sho like that…even though he had a lot of freckles…and she liked freckles…

It wasn't like he was the only person in the world with freckles!

Master Reigen had freckles, too. She had seen him when he was in his exercise clothes. They were just a few on his shoulders, arms, and legs…and you had to be really close to see them…and she had been really close when they were training for the marathon together….

Teru has freckles! Look at his freckles!

Oh. He had a few on his chest, too. They were covered by the sparse, blond, hair that he had there. Not a lot of it, and hard to see, but it was there. She wondered if it was as soft as the hair on his head was, sometimes, when he didn't put any of his hair stuff in it. His hair could be really soft sometimes. She wondered if it was soft, before, back before she had exploded and shaved it all off. She wondered if his hair was soft right now.

But the rule was no touching.

Only looking.

And he was really looking.

"Can you move your…I mean I'm not making you but-but…can I…see?" asked Teru. He was whispering now. She didn't know why he was whispering, it was just the two of them in his apartment. The TV was louder than they had been talking before, anyway.

"Not that you have to-" said Teru shaking his head really fast. Mob didn't much get it. The point of this game was to see…but she had nothing to look at. But then why was she covering herself up like this? The way he was looking at her…she liked it. She liked being looked at like that. She squeezed her thighs together for a moment. Her aura flared.

That feeling was back.

And all that came with it.

"Look at…me?" asked Mob. That must have been what he meant. She just had to…she liked the way he was looking at her and she wanted him to keep on looking at her like that. That meant that she had to uncross her arms. If she wanted him to keep on looking at her like that then she had to uncross her arms. But if she uncrossed her arms then he would most certainly stop looking at her like that.

'Yes…if you want me to. I've never….I've never seen a girl like…this. Not in real life, anyway. You're the only girl that I've ever…brought home. I mean I've…you do not want to know about that. You don't want to know and I won't tell you…shut up Teruki….just…if you don't want me to see your-" said Teru

"Um….you can…but there's nothing to look at. Not really. I mean…just don't make fun of me. I mean I know that you're my boyfriend but I just feel like…like-" said Mob

"Oh, you're self-conscious. I mean…I don't know why you're so self-conscious. You're….you're so damn pretty. Mob…Shigeko….I think that you're so damned pretty and this, right now, is just so…I never thought that you and I would be like this. I mean…after the way I treated you when we met…I honestly thought that you wanted nothing more to do with me. Then we started all of this and…and just…I think that you're pretty. Extraordinary. Extraordinarily pretty and…and I don't know why you can't see it." Said Teru. Mob could only nod. She was red, so red, redder than she had ever been before. He thought that she was pretty. He was always saying that he thought that she was pretty…and he wanted to look at her.

She lowered her arms.

"_Mein Gott….perfektion." _said Teru. Mob had no idea what he said but she loved the way his voice sounded when he said that. A shiver went down her spine. She closed her legs tight. Her toes curled when she did that, they always curled. They always curled when she felt good like that. Her hair stood up, too, when she felt good like that. A lot of things happened when she felt good like that.

A book hit her over the head.

She hoped that he didn't have a system for organizing his…anything. Everything light was floating around the room. When she squeezed her thighs together, which she knew was a mistake as she did it, because that just made the room shake a little. She couldn't help it though…the way he was looking at her…the way he talked to her…

She had no idea what he said but she knew she loved the way it sounded.

"Can you say that again?" asked Mob. He was just sort of staring at her. He was still, very still, even his aura was totally still. He was just staring at what little breasts she had. She didn't know why he was staring but it was so…nice.

"What? Oh. I just said that you were perfect." Said Teru. Mob made a noise that she didn't intend to make. It was…kind of like the sort of noise she would have made if she were in pain…but she was not in pain. The direct opposite of pain…but it did kind of hurt, too. The way she felt…it hurt a little. She had felt like this before but usually when it got like this she would reach down and-

But she couldn't.

She couldn't because he was right there and he couldn't because the rule was 'no touching'. The thought makes her gasp as soon as she has it. Him. Touching her. Reaching under her skirt and **touching** her. No. Nope. Not going to happen. That was…that was a lot.

"Do you like that? When I tell you how perfect you are." Said Teru. She was closer to her, closer but not touching. She could see his aura. She wished that maybe, just maybe, they didn't have that no touching rule. Not that she wanted him to reach up her skirt in reality….but she would like to kiss him. Kiss him like there was a piece of gum that they were passing back and forth. But without the gum.

"Yes….but the way you said it before. Not in Japanese." Said Mob softly. He leaned in close, so close, but he still wasn't touching her. He leaned down to her, he was taller, and she could feel him breathing against her ear. Mob grabbed two handfuls of her skirt and tried to breathe. He was so close.

"_Du bist perfection." _He said. Mob tried to remember how breathing worked. She forgot. How could she have forgotten? She had been breathing every single day for the past fourteen, almost fifteen, years. She knew how to breathe. She must have known how to breathe. She must have but…but it was hard. It was hard and he was so close and he could have touched her and she wanted him to touch her…but he couldn't.

Rules of the game.

"_Du bist schön." _He said, again. She closed her eyes. She closed her eyes and just felt him breathing against her. She wished that…that he would just touch her…she wanted this. She wanted this and she was ok with this.

"_Du bist alles für mich." _She didn't care, then, that she was half naked. She didn't care that she was all slimy where she kept on squeezing her thighs together. She didn't care about anything but him, right there, next to her.

Teru. Touch me. Please

Of course she didn't say that. She didn't say anything. She just…felt. Felt him breathing against her ear. Felt his body heat close, so close, so very close to her…she thought it, though. She thought it and thought it until she was screaming it in her head.

"_Shigeko…Mob…ich liebe dich." _He said. Then he was very quiet. She just listened to him breathing. She just listened to the world around her. Commercial break.

She wanted this.

He would not make fun of her. He would not compare her to anyone else. She…she was ok with this. Him. Her. Them. She didn't know how long it had been since they started and she didn't care. She didn't even want to know. She kept her eyes closed and she just…felt. How could she have been so…nervous? About this. About him. He would never make fun of her and…and she wouldn't…

She would not explode.

This wasn't…this wasn't that feeling. It was a close feeling, a close sort of feeling to that…but different. More…good? This was good. She felt good. Everything felt good. This felt so good and right…

"What did you say?" asked Mob as he pulled away from her. She opened her eyes. He was sitting back in his spot and he had the pillow in his lap again and he was looking everywhere but at her…and the commercial break had just ended…

She felt the button on the side of her skirt. She played with it, twirling it between her fingers. She didn't cross her arms again. He was sitting hunched over, though. Hunched over and red face. No, not just his face…his face and his entire body it looked like. Well, what she could see. What she could see of him.

She wondered what the rest of him looked like.

She wanted to know what the rest of him looked like.

That was all that she could think about. Not the time. Not the fact that mom would call her soon and tell her to come home. Not the fact that Ritsu could have been out looking for her right then and there and he was probably worried about her….she didn't think about that. She only thought about how this was so…she trusted him. She trusted that he would not make fun of her. She trusted that this…this was good.

She trusted him.

She trusted this.

She thought only of him.

She thought only of how…how it would be…how he would look at her if she were totally….

"Good things…really good things. Things that I've never…never said to anyone else before in my life." Said Teru breathlessly. He looked over at her and made a noise that sounded like a cross between pain and surprise.

"Shigeko…we don't have to play anymore…if you don't want to." Said Teru. Mob shook her head.

"I want to. I want to…to do this. I want this. Do you?" asked Mob because, yes, that was important. What he wanted was important. She wanted this. She wanted him to look at her and tell her whatever it was that he was telling her before. She wanted….she wanted this with him.

Maybe not the touching part, though.

Because her eyes were opened now. Her eyes were opened and she could see herself and see him and even though she wanted him to touch her…she also didn't. Because it was a lot. That would have been a lot. If he…if he touched her then she'd have to touch him back and…and she'd never touched another person like that before. If he had been a girl it would have been…she would have been just as nervous but…but she would have at least known what to do.

She'd never even seen a naked boy before.

Outside of taking baths with her little brother…and that was the last she would think about that.

"I…I want to but…this has been really good. It's been too good and…and I don't want to…to scare you off or anything." Said Teru

"You could never scare me, Teru." Said Mob. He was quiet for a while. Mob watched him. He was still siting all doubled over. He was still red. He was still breathing funny.

"Mob…just….I don't want you to freak out or get the wrong idea." Said Teru

"The wrong idea? You mean like misreading the atmosphere? If you don't want to then we can stop, Teru. You're always saying that we don't have to do anything that I don't want to do but the same goes from you. I just…I want to…I mean I want to finish the game. That's the point of the game, right? To sit here and be…naked?" asked Mob. Her voice got weird at the word 'naked' which was so stupid because she was already half naked. So was he.

She wanted to be all the way naked. Well she had. The moment was fading and she was more conscious of the…the fact that she was half naked. She'd be all the way naked and she trusted him and she trusted that he would not make fun of him but…but she would still be all the way naked. She was already more naked than anyone had ever seen her before. He saw her small her chest was, how fuzzy her legs were without her long socks, that weird dusting of hair that she had under her arms, too. He didn't care.

But she would be all the way naked.

He'd see…everything.

The thought is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

Another thought. She was all…the way she got when she felt like this. Slimy and sticky and wet. If she were all the way naked then he would…then he would know that she was all…like this. She was all...like this…and he'd know and…it was so embarrassing and…and noticeable too.

He would notice.

She…wants and doesn't want that.

"I…there's no real point. I mean, yes, I would like to see you…undressed…and I hope that you would want to see me undressed, but the point is…intimacy. Just intimacy. I don't want to rush you into anything." Said Teru

"Oh. I guess that we can do something else, if you want. I mean…it felt good when you were close…and when you were telling me all that stuff…but we can stop if you want us to. I don't want to misread the atmosphere. This was a lot, you're right, and if you don't want to-" said Mob

"It's not that I don't want to, I just…can't right now." Said Teru. Mob nodded and called their clothes back over with her powers. She pulled her shirt and undershirt back on. He said that he couldn't and that was fine. He was always asking her how she felt, if she was ok with what they were doing, and his feelings mattered too.

He was quiet when they got dressed. So was she. The atmosphere felt weird. Heavy. She hoped that she hadn't messed up. This whole thing was complicated, very complicated. Gross feeling, too. Gross feeling and…and complicated.

But also good.

He reached an arm behind her. Right, the game was over, they could touch again. She leaned back and rested her head on his chest. He stopped breathing for a moment.

"Hey, Mob?" asked Teru

"Yes?" asked Mob

"How do you…how do you feel? About me, I mean." Said Teru. Mob took his hand in hers. How did she feel? Good. But good wasn't enough. He probably wanted more words. Specifics. He probably wanted specifics. She felt warm about him. Happy. Giddy. Nervous.

"I care about you. I care about you a lot. I like you, Teru." Said Mob meaning every single word of it. She cared so much about him. She thought about him all the time. When they were apart she was sad but when they were together she was happy. Not just because of things like this, either. He was…he was everything that she could feel. Everything good. Every good feeling that ever existed was Teruki Hanazawa.

Maybe it was love. Maybe this was what love, the real and true kind of love.

Mob had no idea.

"I like you too…Mob. Shigeko." Said Teru. He leaned down and buried his face in her hair. He said something else. Something that wasn't in Japanese. She had no idea what he was saying.

But she knew that it was good things.


	3. Go, Stop, Pause

Red meant stop, green went go, and yellow/orange meant pause. It was yellow/orange because sometimes that light looked yellow and sometimes it looked orange. Seemed a bit confusing, honestly, but Mob didn't drive so she wasn't sure if she got an opinion on traffic lights. Not that they were driving or anything. No, they were playing.

That was the game. Stop, pause, and go. It was kind of like when Mob played this in gym class when she was in elementary school. The rules were simple. Stop. Go. Pause. Well pause was new.

"Green light." Said Mob

This whole game was kind of new.

This game wasn't being played in a school gym with running and laughing and occasionally falling down. This game was being played on her futon in her house with her boyfriend and her door wide opened. Teru's phone was on her desk playing music, something from a movie with no words but slow and heavy and perfect for the atmosphere. It was a really nice atmosphere, from what Mob could read of it.

Calm. It was calm.

Nothing was shaking. Her hair was acting up but that was it.

This whole thing was calm. Calm was good. Nervous but…calm. A nervous sort of calm, not an upset sort of nervous that usually preceded an explosion.

His hand was on her knee, the skin of it. Her skirt didn't cover her knees. She was laying down on her futon. He was sort of half laying on his side. He circled her knee with his thumb. She shuddered, that whole body shudder that she did. This was ok. This was nice. This was calm. She needed to keep calm because not only could she explode, which would be bad, she could also…well the phrase was one thing led to another…

Which made a lot of sense.

"Still green light?" asked Teru

"Yes. Still green light." Said Mob. He went a little higher up on her knee then. He was looking down at his hand. She tugged her skirt down with her powers even though it was a down as it could go. There was a strip of flesh, there, between her knee and her skin. She wanted him to reach up higher and she wanted him to stay where he was. It was weird, wanting two things at once, but not in the same way as wanting two different kinds of cereal at once. You couldn't just mix the two things together to create a breakfast that knew no equal. This was a binary decision. Either he was touching her or he wasn't. Simple. Yes or no. She wanted him to touch her but she also…she also sort of didn't.

Because she could explode.

Because she could do too much.

She knew that one thing led to another but not in the cause and effect way. Not in the if you stay up all night doing phone stuff then you'll be sleepy at school the next day, way. Or the if you tell Sho he can have some of your cereal he'll eat the whole box but buy you another, way. The kissing way, which was it's own way. The touching way, which was similar to the kissing way but could lead to more things. The way that mom worried about, the things that she worried about. The way, the things, that mom was always worrying about and telling Mob to be careful about. They way that made mom make her keep her door opened and made mom tell Ritsu to hang out with her and Teru whenever they went to his apartment. The last time she had been all alone with him in his apartment one thing almost led to another. It had been so good, at the time, and she still wanted…but then that thing would lead to more things. Things that she wanted…and didn't…because they were new and scary and she could explode and mess up.

She did not want to head towards another explosion.

Where this thing was headed she did not know. It was like going to a totally new place on the bus but then your map app stops working and you can't remember what stop you're supposed to get off at so you just sort of go with it…and she had gone with it then and she was going with it now. She had wanted to go with. In the moment she had but when that moment passed it dawned on her just what she had been doing. Would it dawn on her again? Would she be overrun with doubt and fear again?

That was why they needed the yellow/orange light. To pause the moment before she could get carried away and mess up or explode or whatever else could happen.

Teru was always saying that they could stop whenever she wanted to and that they would only do what she wanted to do. So that was the red light and the green light. The yellow/orange light was new, and it was needed….but not now. Now his hand was just on her knee and that was fine. That was just her knee. She still tugged her skirt down. This one was shorter than she usually wore. Above the knee. Teru liked it better like this.

He thought she was pretty like this.

Her skirt was short and her hair was probably a mess but he still thought that she was pretty. He always thought that she was pretty. Even when they met up after school and she was in her school uniform and all sweaty from club. Even when she was wearing just the same old clothes she always wore, the ones she got with mom when they went to the department store, from the children's section even though mom kept on saying that Mob was getting too big for the clothes they had there. Mob didn't feel pretty, not really, but Teru always said that she was pretty.

So damn pretty.

His words.

It felt good, so good, so very good. Him thinking that she was pretty. Someone thinking that she was pretty. Not cute. Pretty. Even though she wasn't he still thought so. He looked at her sometimes, really looked at her, and it just felt so…good. The way he would just stare. The way his eyes would linger on her face, then her mouth, then lower…she liked it. It was…even when he looked at her like that, like she wasn't wearing clothes, even though she totally was wearing clothes, it was so nice.

"You're so…I am that you are….I mean….your skin is soft." He said. Mob nodded.

"I think it's the soap I use, maybe. I'm glad you like it." Said Mob. She watched his hand. It was just above her knee. She didn't know how far above her knee she would let him rest his hand, but she knew right now that she liked it. She liked being touched like this.

His hand was soft. He used a lot of different kinds of lotions for his skin, he said that moisturizing was important. His face, his hands, his body. She'd seen his bathroom shelves. The room was crowded with all of the things he needed to be presentable, as he said. Not for his vanity but for humanity, he said. She laughed. It rhymed. He didn't take it like she was laughing at him. He said that he loved her laugh.

His hand moved to the underside of her leg. She laughed just a little bit.

"Ticklish?" he asked. He asked in that deep sort of voice he did, sometimes. The sort of voice that made her entire body shudder. She opened her eyes. He was looking at her in that way, again. The way he looked at her when they had been playing the commercial break game. Like she wasn't wearing a shirt again….

This was a clothes on sort of game.

It had to be. The door was wide opened. Mom was downstairs. So was dad but dad never came upstairs to check on her. She heard mom and dad talking downstairs. Just their voices, though, not what they were saying. Mom said that she could have privacy within limits. The limits were that she and dad mostly stayed downstairs but she had to keep her door opened all the time. Mom didn't let them go outside that day, either. She said that it looked like rain. Mob didn't think it looked like it was going to rain but she didn't want to argue. Arguing made mom cross and Mob didn't want that at all.

"A little…but I don't mind. Still green light." Said Mob. She was talking quietly, so was he. The door was wide opened but they also had to worry about how thin the wall between her room and Ritsu's. Mob could hear some soft music coming through the wall, Sho's music since Ritsu didn't like music all that much, and if Mob could hear them then they might be able to hear her.

That would have just been awful.

Because she did not need her little brother to know about this.

She loved Ritsu with all her heart but he could be so nosy, sometimes. He hadn't been very nosy lately, or mean. He just gave Teru mean looks when he was near, that was all. Progress. Still there was the chance that Ritsu would decide to be nosy again, and he could not see this. He got all mean and huffy when she and Teru touched like normal.

He'd explode if he saw this.

She liked it when Teru touched her. Not just like…this…but in general. A hug, warm and nice. Holding hands, their fingers laced together, their palms pressing against each other's. A layer of sweat forming between them because, well, it did get kind of warm. Especially with the blush that spread across her face and then her entire body. His, too.

Kind of like now.

"You're red. Are you ok? Is it…good? The good kind of turning red I mean." asked Mob. He swallowed a couple of times before he answered. Mob wanted to go downstairs and get him a glass of water but then mom and dad would probably tell her to stay downstairs and call everyone else down, too. That would not be good at all.

Not just for her. She wasn't dumb, she knew that Ritsu and Sho probably kissed and other things when they were alone together in Ritsu's room. They kept the door closed for a reason and Mob was not about to go sticking her head in there to see what was going on and she also did not want to be responsible for mom and dad interrupting….whatever it was that was happening on the other side of that wall.

She didn't know what Ritsu and Sho got up to and she didn't want to know.

But she knew that they'd be mad if mom said that everyone had to hang out downstairs.

"Y-Yeah. This is…this is good. I'm just…I'm fine." He said. He drummed his fingers against her leg as he said that. He drummed his fingers against things sometimes. He drummed his aura, too, she noticed. Against hers. It felt weird, metaphysically, and physically it just tickled. She giggled and sat up. He pulled his hand away, which she hadn't wanted him to do, but maybe that was a good thing.

Because he had been creeping up.

And that would have been a lot.

She wasn't sure if it was too much or just enough, yet.

She wasn't dumb. She knew what the point of this game was. She knew, vaguely, about what people did together. She wasn't an expert, nowhere near close, but she was fourteen. She knew that people who were in love made each other feel good. That was one of the points of a relationship, doing that with someone you loved and trusted. Feeling good and making someone else, someone you loved, feel good. There was love and understanding but also making the other person feel good and them making you feel good. It was supposed to feel so good…but it was also so much….but there were a bunch of steps in between kissing and doing…that. She just didn't know all the steps but she knew that there were steps. She didn't know all the details but she knew herself and she knew…if she ever wanted him to…and he wanted to, too…then he could do the same things that she did when she was all by herself.

She hoped that she didn't end up messing with the electricity again.

"Ok. I was just making sure." Said Mob. His hands were back at his sides. He eyed the opened door. Mob could still hear mom and dad talking downstairs. She could see Ritsu's aura, he was still in his room, and Sho was there too with him. Nobody looked like they would be leaving anytime soon. She chose not to look at how their auras were acting, that was her brother and it was none of her business, even though Ritsu was not allowed to do…stuff. He was too little, it seemed like. He and Sho did not need to do…to play anything. Nope. Nothing at all. Not that Mob got any kind of a say in that whatsoever. She wasn't Ritsu, she wouldn't try to stop her brother from…even though he was too young.

"Are you ok? I know, I know, I ask you that a lot. But I just don't want to push you too far. I just…I know I can be like that sometimes-" Said Teru

"You've never been like that with me, Teru." Said Mob. The way he saw himself was not the way he was in life. That was just so…or was that how it was with everyone? She didn't see herself as being girlfriend material but Teru wanted her to be his girlfriend. She didn't see herself as a little kid but mom still bought her clothes from the children's section and made her braid her hair. She didn't see herself as a God, either, but all of those weird psycho helmet guys thought that she was.

So how did you know who you were, then, if the way that you saw yourself or the way others saw you was inaccurate?

"I know I haven't been that way with you but I have been that way…before….and I just don't want to be that way with you. It's just…there are things that I want with you but I don't want to scare you off…and I just…" said Teru

"Oh. You mean the girlfriends that you had before me." Said Mob trying not to be jealous. She reached behind her with her powers and played with her braids.

"Damn it….sorry. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry. I'm just so clueless sometimes." Said Teru. Mob shook her head.

"You're not clueless, Teru, and don't ever think that you are. I'm the one who's clueless. Clueless and…I'm jealous….I mean I know that I shouldn't be but I am…and I'm sorry about that." Said Mob

"You don't have to be jealous. You're…I've never felt this way about another person before. You're my first REAL girlfriend, Mob. Shigeko. You're my…everything, it feels like. I lo-like you. I like you a lot." Said Teru. Mob stopped playing with her braids.

"….you're my first real boyfriend, too. I really like you too, Teru. I like you and I'm sorry that I'm jealous. I don't even know why I am. I know that you're my boyfriend. If you wanted to be with someone else then you would be with them. I guess that it's just…it's dumb." Said Mob

"There is nothing about you that could ever be dumb." Said Teru. He took her hand in his.

"Green light." Said Mob

"What?" asked Teru. Mob held his hand tighter.

"This is a green light thing. I like it when you hold my hand. I guess that…I think that it's dumb. You see it differently but I think that it's dumb. It'd dumb that I'm so jealous that you've held other girls' hands and kissed them and…other stuff. It's dumb because so have I. Not about the other stuff but…but I was in a relationship before, too." Said Mob quietly. The song had changed. She didn't know this one, either, but it was slow and instrumental and nice. Nicer than how she felt right then. She needed to stop being so jealous, it was not a good feeling to have, but she couldn't.

He reached over with his other hand and tilted her face up.

"Green light?" he asked. Mob nodded.

"Green light." Said Mob. She blinked a few times. Her braids and bangs floated upwards towards the ceiling. He was close, so close, so very close.

"Shigeko….everyone before was just practice for when…for you." Said Teru. Mob pulled back a little.

"People aren't practice, Teru." Said Mob. Teru said some bad words really quietly.

"I'm sorry! I said the wrong thing and-" said Mob

"No, I said the wrong thing. Just…that came out wrong. You're the only person that I want to be with. I was an asshole, I really was, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for who I was and…and you make me a better person. I just…I'm not making sense again. Just…you're the only person I want to do any of this with…not that it's about this! If you said that you never, ever, wanted to do anything then I would respect that…and just don't be jealous. You're the only person that I could ever feel like this about…I mean it feels like that…and I…there's so much I want to say to you and do to you…with you! With you and…yeah. Sorry about being so…yeah." Said Teru. Mob watched him. She took in what he said. He was still holding her hand. He stood very stilly as she watched him.

She was the person that he wanted to be with now. That was what mattered. He was right.

"I sort of understand, I think. Just…I'm sorry that I'm jealous, Teru. I'm sorry that I'm jealous and I care about you, too…I care about you and I forgive you for being a mean person, before. That doesn't matter now. Who you are now matters." Said Mob. Now it was his turn to look at her for a long while.

Then he kissed her.

Definitely green light.

He really was good at this. Slow, this time. Just the right amount of pressure. Not slobbery. Sometimes it was slobbery, and wet. When they kissed like adults kissed. When he pulled her close or laid her down…when his tongue was in her mouth and he tasted like strawberries….when he made that noise he made like he was in pain but he wasn't….

This was different. Slower. Quieter. One hand was in hers, the other was at the back of her head. His fingers were twisting themselves in her hair. She reached up and mirrored his action. His hair was so soft….

"Green light." Said Teru. The broke apart, his forehead was pressed against hers. She could feel him breathing. She shuddered, the good kind of shudder. The light above her shuddered, too. Ritsu's aura flared and she was worried that he would come busting through her door as he was apt to do…but he did not.

Mom and dad were still downstairs. Ritsu was still in his room with Sho.

Privacy. Within limits.

But she didn't want these limits. She wanted to be alone with him. She wanted to hear all the things he wanted to say to her. She wanted to know all the things he wanted to do with her. She wanted the world to be built for two, the two of them, but not in a they're the only two people on Earth to reject instrumentality sort of way because they'd go crazy from the isolation and also they would have to repopulate the human race…and Mob wasn't sure that she was ready for that yet.

There were a lot of holes in her End of EVA dream.

"I can touch you?" asked Mob

"If you want to, only if you want to. I'm not making you." Said Teru, his fore head still pressed against hers. She nodded and played with his hair. It was short now, a lot shorter than it looked, because it looked kind of pointy and spiky. He sighed as she played with his hair. His eyes were closed, now, and he was still so close…

"I know you're not making me, I just wanted to touch you. I wasn't sure about the rules of this…if I was allowed to touch you. I don't know. I like touching you. Your hair is soft, I like it." Said Mob, her hand hovering near his hair.

"Green light. Just…that's nice. It's just my hair but…it's nice." Said Teru. Mob moved down, her hand gliding through his hair and to the back of his neck. He had a downy covering of hair there, too. She traced her fingers there slowly. Soft. He was just so soft. Maybe she should start covering herself in lotion too. There was no way that her skin came even close to being as soft as his.

He gave that the green light, too. He gave it with a shuddery breath and a noise that she hadn't ever heard from him before but wanted to hear more of. She nudged her door just a little more closed with her powers, just a little. Just a quarter of the way. From this angle it was harder to see what they were doing, not that they were doing anything. Not doing in the sense of…stuff. This was no stuff. This was just…nice.

She dipped her fingers lower. She was touching his back now, but through his shirt. She missed the feel of his skin but…but if she down from the neck hole of his shirt then she would stretch it out. Yes, she could stretch his shirt out and that would be a bad thing. Clothes were expensive. His clothes were very expensive. Nice, too. Bright pink with gold stars. Pink like her aura, well half of it, and gold like his. His aura was touching hers, sort of. Laying against her. With every centimeter she dipped lower, with every green light, he got brighter and brighter.

The auras that she could see through the wall got brighter, too. She could hear…sort of. Ritsu said something. Sho said something else. Were they fighting? Ritsu could see auras if he tried to, seeing auras was not his default state, but there was no way he was…aware…of what was going on. No. Well he knew…she had no idea what he knew….but he knew enough not to say anything like he had when she and Tome had been-

She and Tome had never done things like this.

Tome just sort of tried to touch her, and she hardly ever touched Tome. When they were together it was like jumping right into the deep end. Now it was more like starting in the kiddie pool and walking, slowly, across until you were up to your knees, your thighs, your waist, your neck…not that she was up to any part of her, yet. This was still ok. This was above clothes, his clothes, and it wasn't like boys had as much to touch. Not that she didn't want to touch him, it was just less of a big deal if she were to move her hands to the front of him and feel his chest. Boys were lucky like that. They didn't have breasts to worry about. They didn't have to worry about their breasts being too small, too far apart, too….or not enough.

Hers were most certainly not enough.

She moved her hands to his waist. He was sitting farther from her, now. Not super far but not super close, either, not so that their foreheads pressed together anymore. Her door closed a little more. His doing, not hers. She did not want anyone poking their head up and seeing what she was doing and neither did he. Not that she was doing anything wrong. It wasn't like they were naked or anything like that. That was for at his house.

She wished that they were at his house.

Partially of course. If they were at his house then they could go back to the commercial break game. That had been…it had been a lot….and she had almost gotten carried away…but there had also been more of…she didn't know what….her little brother hadn't been in the next room and her parents hadn't been right downstairs. That was the point. Privacy. Privacy without limits. Privacy where they could have done…so much…not that she wanted to! But it had been nice…when he looked at her…and said all of that stuff that she couldn't understand but knew that she liked to hear.

That tone. The way the words sounded. The way his voice got kind of deep and gravelly when he said it.

Now he was all gasps and whispers. She was touching his sides, now, and this had been a few gasps of green light over and over again. He said it in Japanese. She didn't know what language he had spoken before but it hadn't been Japanese. She was tired of Japanese. She had been listening to Japanese for her entire life. She wanted to hear what he had to say in his language, not hers.

Her hands found his stomach.

He laughed.

She tried to pull away.

"No, I mean yes, I mean…that tickles. Green light. Still green light." Said Teru. Mob wondered if they should just change this game to green light and forget the other lights. They hadn't used them. Well they hadn't touched each other anywhere…not good. Well not bad but not social acceptable places to be touching someone else. She lingered at his stomach. She could feel him breathing through his shirt. It didn't feel like he was wearing an undershirt. She was. She had on more layers, this fact seemed very important now.

She wished that she could close her door.

"We can stop, if you want to. I mean I know that I say that a lot-" said Teru

"You do." Said Mob

"And I know that it's probably annoying-" said Teru

"Not very." Said Mob

"But I don't want to scare you off…I don't want you to go…" said Teru

"This is my house, Teru, where would I go?" said Mob

"No, not like that. I mean if you want to leave, or you want me to leave, or you just want to go outside or something then we can or I can or you can I just…I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. I just…there are so many things that I want to say to you right now." Said Teru

"You can say them. We aren't on a time limit. You can say whatever you want, Teru." Said Mob, her hands still lingering on his stomach. He leaned into her. He rested his head on her shoulder, now. She could feel his breath on the crook of her neck.

Goosebumps.

Toes curling in her socks.

The need to squeeze her thighs together.

What was this? He was just breathing. He breathed all the time, he had to in order to live, so why was it making her…like this? He was breathing against this spot on her neck, one she had not been aware of, but one that she would never be able to forget about. He was still breathing and now she was forgetting how to breathe. He was breathing enough for the two of them, now.

"I…it's too soon. It doesn't matter how I feel, it's too soon. I just…I can't lose you. I can't fuck this up. Sorry! Just…yeah. This is just…you matter the most to me…and I don't want to lose you…" said Teru. Lose her? She wasn't a set of keys or a phone charger that he could misplace…or did he mean lose like her dying? She had lived through all of that with Sho's dad, she doubted that anything in this world could kill her...or did he mean lose like break up?

Well that was crazy talk.

She would never break up with him.

She really liked him…maybe even loved him…she would not break up with him.

"You won't lose me. Teru, do you mean us breaking up? Because I never want to break up with you. When I think about not having you as my boyfriend it hurts. It hurts more than when Sho's dad threw me through those buildings…or set me on fire….or swung me around by my hair…or even when I gave up my physical form…it hurts more than all of that, Teru. Losing you would hurt." Said Mob

"….Shigeko…" he said. He said her given name like he was saying a prayer. Mob knew that tone. She had been to temple enough to know what praying sounded like. He said her name like that a few times. He said them into the space at the crook of her neck and each time he said it she felt something like an electric shock go straight through her. Her heart beat faster. Her breathing got weird. Her stomach did flips and flops as it traveled down.

Then it reached it's final destination.

She rocked a little as he said it, just to get some relief from this feeling. This feeling that he was making her feel. One thing led to another. She knew that one thing led to another. She wanted…she wanted it to lead somewhere…close to there. Not there but close. Because it would be so easy for him to reach his hand up her leg, up her thigh, up her skirt, push her underwear to the side and just….

Oh!

He didn't do that but he kissed her. He kissed her where his head rested. Quick kisses. Butterfly kisses. She leaned into him. Wetter, now. Sloppier. Harder. Her hands found his hair. She held him close. She thought that it was bad before…but this was…this was on a whole other level. She tried to squeeze her thighs together as she rocked. She needed….this felt so good! Too good!

And then he bit her a little.

And she made a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a whimper. He tried to pull away.

"I'm sorry! I just got carried away! If you're not-" said Teru

"Green light! Teru, green light!" said Mob. She tried to be quiet, she tried to whisper. She didn't want this to be over. She didn't want her mom to call up the stairs that everyone needed to come hang out in the living room again. She didn't need Ritsu to come in and tell her that mom said, very clearly too, that her door needed to stay all the way opened. She didn't need that at all. She needed Teru to keep on kissing her like that. She needed it.

She needed a lot of things.

She needed to have been wearing a longer skirt, or even pants, even though she hated the feel of pants. This skirt was too short and she was all...and he might even be able to tell…and he could not be able to tell. This stuff was so gross. It was slimy and it smelled pretty strong, too. He'd probably think that she was gross and then…not that he'd touch her there….because that would be a lot. Nobody in the history of ever had ever touched her there…

But it would have been so easy…

"You like this?" asked Teru. Mob nodded.

"It feels good. Can you keep doing that?" Said Mob. She hoped that they were being quiet. She tried to be quieter than the music. The song hand changed again. Mob didn't know this song, either, but it didn't matter. She didn't need it to be something that she recognized, she just needed it to be something that was louder than the two of them.

"Ask me to. Ask me to…ask me to do whatever you want and I'll do it. Whatever you want…everything's a green light. I'll…I will-will literally do whatever you want right now. Anything. Stop. Go. Kiss you…wherever you want…touch you…wherever you want…." Said Teru. His eyes were super wide, again. She could hardly see the blue. He was red. She was red, too. They always go super red when they got like this.

Of course Mob was redder.

She knew…she knew exactly where she wanted Teru to touch her. She knew where and when and how. But she…would it be ok? Would it be ok to ask him to touch her…there? Would that be alright? Or would it be too much? And what if he thought that she was gross. It was a lot. She could feel it between her thighs….and this skirt was so short…

"Teru….you can kiss me like that again…if you want to. I want…I want you to…a lot of stuff…but it would be a lot…and I don't want you to think…I mean I want you to but…it's just a little…actually it's very…I don't want you to think that I'm gross." Said Mob softly.

"Gross? I'm fourteen, girls haven't been gross for about ten years now. Nothing about you is gross or ever could be." Said Teru before he went back to kissing her. He went up, now, until he was just under her ear. She shuddered.

The house shuddered.

Some hit her window. Oh. Was the tree always that tall? And the leaves always so thick?

Who cares.

"That's…oh! That's good….Teru I like that a lot…" said Mob. His mouth was right under her ear. His hand was…he was putting a lot of weight on her…oh. He was laying her down. He was trying to get her to lay down…she knew what people did laying down on beds…

She laid down on her futon.

He was half laying on top of her. She was on her back. He was on his side. He was kissing his way across her face, now. Her ear. Her cheek. The corner of her mouth. She made that noise again, that super embarrassing noise, and leaned into his kiss. Simple, at first, but then deeper. He pressed harder against her. She could feel his tongue against her mouth, pressing against her teeth, trying to gain access.

She let him.

He didn't taste like strawberries this time. He tasted like toothpaste and dental floss. One of his hands on at her side, his arm bracing him up…and the other was on her stomach. Up. Over her belly button. Up. Over her ribs. Up….

"Teru…why'd you stop?" whispered Mob when they broke apart. She could feel him, the ghost of him. His tongue across hers. It was almost like they had been fighting for control of her mouth, the two of them at war for territory. Well they both won, there. They tied and she wanted a rematch…

"You didn't say." Said Teru, his fingers playing with her shirt. He was still above her shirt. His fingers were tapping against her…sternum? She didn't pay that much attention during biology. Anatomy. This was like anatomy but fun. Very fun. The most fun. Fun and exciting but also kind of scary but all of it in a good way.

"Say?" asked Mob as she felt the tap, tap, tap of his fingers. She wished that he would…she wished that he would do a lot of things. But he stopped and now they weren't doing anything.

"Green light." Said Teru. Right. The game. The game still had rules. They had to ask, always ask, or else they weren't playing right. He had already said that everything was green light…for him…but did the same go for her?

Where was her line?

She'd know when she found it.

She wanted to find that line with Teru. So she said green light. Then he went back to it. He kissed her again, slowly this time. He kissed her and his other hand was pulling up her shirt. Slowly. So slowly. Too slowly. She didn't know why he had to go so slowly. She felt cold air hit her stomach, her belly button, and then he just stopped. Stopped right there, his hand still on the part of her stomach that was covered by her shirt.

"Teru….green light. You can…you can touch me if you want to. I want you to touch me." Said Mob. She wanted this so badly. Reach up. Reach down. Reach somewhere.

"Um…..I want to….just…." said Teru. He swallowed a couple times before he said that. He was still drumming his fingers against her. His aura was bouncing around too. He was still half laying down on her. She shimmied closer. She wanted to be closer. She wanted the two of them to be as close as they could be.

She didn't think about the fact that she was at her house. She didn't think about the fact that someone could walk in at any second. She just cared about Teru and her, the way that they were, together, in this moment.

"Just…this is a lot…and I don't want to push you to doing anything that-" said Teru

"Teru, I told you already. I know what I want and I know what I don't want. You're not pushing me to doing anything. I want you to touch me. I want you to be on top of me like when we kiss, sometimes. I want…I want a lot of things and maybe they aren't all a good idea but when I want you to stop I'll tell you to stop just like I know that you'll tell me to stop if I ever push you too far." Said Mob

"You could never push me too far." Said Teru

"Yes I could. You don't have to say yes to everything just because you're my boyfriend. You can say no, too. I know that you said that it would always be a green light but…I should still ask. It's important to ask if something is ok but…but I want you to believe me when I say green light. That's the point of the game, so that we know what's ok and what isn't. Oh! And also intimacy." Said Mob. She had never whispered that much in her life. Her throat hurt just a little, actually, from all of that whispering. Not the way he had been biting her a little, though, that had been just fine.

"….tell me what you want me to do." Said Teru

"I did. I told you that I wanted you to touch me." Said Mob

"Yes but…please, be specific." Said Teru

"You don't think that I-" said Mob

"No, it's not that. I know…I think I know what you want but I…I like it when girls-when you! You! Not-never mind. Just…I like it when you tell me what you want me to do." Said Teru. He went back to kissing her again, back to the spot on her neck that made her rock back and forth. He was more on top of her now, one of his legs was in between hers. She rocked against it before she could think.

He gasped and kissed her more. Quicker. Harder.

"Teru! Teru! I want you to…" said Mob. The words would not come. She could not say it. But she had to. She had to tell him…but the words would not come. Touch me. That had been a lot to say already. He wanted specifics though. Touch me…move up. Move down…not down! Because it was all wet and gross and also nobody had ever touched her there, not that anybody had touched her breasts either, but those were less of a…big deal? Less of a big deal than reaching down and touching her between her legs.

Besides, his knee was there already.

And that was just fine.

"To…to-to-to-" said Mob as she reached up and ran her hands through his hair and down his back. Something rained down on her. Oh. Plaster from the ceiling. She heard cursing through the wall but paid it no mind. The same went for the sound of whatever show mom and dad were watching on TV drifting upstairs.

"Oh fuck…_Ich liebe dich verdammt!_" said Teru. He said it in the way, that way that made her toes curl and her heart pound. There was the sound of cloth hitting the floor. Oh. Her wardrobe threw up. She didn't care about the mess that she would have to clean up later. She didn't care about anything other than her and Teru there on her futon in that moment in time.

"I like that!" said Mob. Teru found her collar bone. The neck of her shirt was pulled down low, now, and it would probably stretch out and look bad…and it had been expensive. Teru had helped her pick this out and now It was getting ruined. The shirt was getting all wrinkled and stretched out and the skirt was…

Really more of a belt at this point.

It was a short skirt, a very short skirt by Mob's standards, and now it was…if he cared to look down he would have seen her underwear. Plain white and boring, like her undershirt. The undershirt that was currently all bunched up with her shirt around her stomach. She shifted under him. As good as this felt, and this was getting to the border of too good, she needed to fix her skirt.

Why was that the thing that made her feel self-conscious?

She couldn't reach down, her arms weren't that flexible, and her hands were busy, too. Raking up and down Teru's back. He liked it when she did that, it seemed like. He cursed. Not always in Japanese but since he was curing in Japanese she assumed that he must have been curing in that other language he spoke, too.

She tried reaching down with her powers. This was delicate since her powers were reaching everywhere….not that she was going to explode…in the bad way…but this was a very delicate operation. She needed to be careful or she might accidentally end up breaking something…or someone….so she had to be careful…

She reached down with her powers.

Teru stopped moving.

Mob stopped, too. Oh no. She had messed up and now he wanted to stop and-

"You could have just said something…you don't have to…to use your powers…or rock against me…to get o-for that." Said Teru after a while. A long while. A long while in which it sounded like he had started several sentences. He was back to laying on his side, now. She missed it. The weight of him, the warmth of him. He was on his side and he was looking at her in that way, that way that turned her inside of jelly and made her forget her own name. He reached over and put his hand on her stomach. Her bare stomach.

Then he moved up.

Under her shirt. Under her undershirt. Past her bellybutton. Past where her actual stomach was. Past where her ribs started. Then he just sort of looked at her. She looked at him. They just sort of looked at each other.

"Green light." Said Mob because, well, rules of the game. He looked serious, very serious, the most serious that she had ever seen him. He moved his hand up higher and then just sort of felt her heart beat. He felt her heart beat and he didn't say a word. She reached up and felt his. His heart was beating do fast it felt like it was humming. She wondered if that was healthy, for a person's heart to beat that fast. What if they had heart attacks? How would they explain this to the doctor? To her parents? She certainly felt like she was about to have a heart attack. His hand moved to the right. Slowly. Quickly. She didn't know which, these weren't objective value judgements. He just moved to the side and touched her-

Oh.

Ok then.

This was happening.

And it was a lot. A good a lot.

She leaned into his touch. This was a lot but in a good way. She sometimes touched herself there, sometimes, and it felt good. It was just so much better when it was another person. She didn't know what he was going to do next. First he just sort of let his hand sit on top of it, then he kind of bounced it up and down in the palm of his hand, and now he was….OH! That was good.

Up and down was nice.

Circles were better.

But pinching was not good.

That had gotten him an orange light. He tried to pull his whole hand away, apologizing the whole time, but she said that orange meant pause and not stop. She just didn't like the pinching part. That was all.

"I am so sorry. I just thought that you would…but you're yourself so of course you wouldn't like-not that I have a lot of experience doing this! I just…ok. No more pinching. Just…tell me when I do something that you don't like-" said Teru

"Or something I do." Said Mob. Then he laughed, sort of, and got back to it. It was like he was trying to find a radio station but…good, somehow. This was good. This was nice.

She wished that he hadn't moved his knee.

She didn't mean to arch up like that, it had been involuntary. Just like the way that she had flickered the lights on and off. That had been pure feeling. That was all. Pure, embarrassing, feeling. He saw her underwear then, probably, and how plain and boring…she should have worn something nicer. Something that was designed to be seen. The sorts of things that girls with boyfriends wore. That was who she was, now, a girl with a boyfriend.

Having a boyfriend was nice.

This was nice.

It just didn't get any better than that. It couldn't. It wouldn't. It was just so…much…but in a good way. Well it had been good for her, anyway. Teru just sort of…stopped….after she did the back arching thing. He stopped and he looked at her.

Then he started to move downwards.

"Green light?" he asked breathlessly. Mob nodded.

"Green light." Said Mob. She wanted…she wanted a lot of things in that moment. She wanted to kiss him, to hold him, to touch him, for him to touch her, for him to keep on going down…and he did. He went down lower and lower under he was at the band of her skirt.

Then he went lower.

He traced his hand down her thigh and to the bottom of her skirt. It had been short to begin with but now it was as short as the big T-shirt she slept in sometimes. He just sort of stopped there. Did he not want to? Or maybe he was waiting for her to…to play too.

Her hands had been as her sides. She just sort of felt him…before…but now maybe it was her turn. She reached over and just sort of felt his thigh. Well his thigh through his pants, anyway. His pants felt nice. They were purple and made of something soft, so soft. Soft enough that she could feel him so clearly…

"You have a lot of strong muscle in your leg. It's nice. Also is this a green light thing? You can tell me if it isn't." Said Mob because, well, it was nice. He blinked and looked at her.

"Soccer. I play soccer…and I bike…but you knew that already. Just…um…thank you…that was so awkward. Thank you? What the hell, Teruki? Just...yeah…sorry. This is…just…green light. Definitely green light and…and you feel nice too…um…" said Teru

"Body improvement club." Said Mob. She traced her hand up a little higher, to his inner thigh. He mirrored her.

"Shigeko…there's nothing that needs improvement. You are perfection." Said Teru. Mob made a sound that was between a whimper and giggle. A ghimper? A whiggle? No, that was a movement…and a nonsense word. Words were hard. Touch was…less hard.

Her fingers went up higher. His went lower. He was…how were her inner thighs this sensitive? How had she gone her entire life without noticing how sensitive her inner thighs were? His must have been, too, even though she was still above his pants.

She could touch…it…if she wanted to.

But she had never touched a boy's…it….before…and nobody had ever touched her…it…before, either.

He could touch her, if he wanted to.

She would let him.

"Teru…so are you. I think that you're….that you're wonderful and I really care about you and…and this is a lot but…but it's good and…um….green light?" Mob said that last part so quietly that she didn't even hear herself speak. His eyes went wide. His aura was so visible, so bright, that she had to blink. He didn't do anything for a few seconds…he just sort of sat there….and then he reached over further.

She felt his fingers at the band of her underwear. If he went under then that would most certainly be a red light. But he didn't he went over. He went over and just sort of rested at the…whatever it was called. She knew that it must have had a proper, anatomical, name but she just called it the thing. That nubby thing. That nubby thing that stood at attention when it needed attention.

And it did.

She rocked upwards without even thinking about it. This felt so…wow. Wow was the only word for it. She could feel his fingers resting just centimeters away from….wow. Just wow.

Then he moved his fingers just a bit. Just a tiny bit.

Too much wow.

"Orange light!" said Mob a little too loudly. He pulled his hand away like he was on fire even though she had said orange. She just needed a minute to…think. He had been…he had been touching her…and she liked it but…but it was so wet and he probably thought it was gross…and also that was a lot…and also it felt good but…but it was a lot….

"I'm sorry!" said Teru. There was a crash and some scuffling in the other room. Mob sat up and drew her knees up to her chest not caring that he could, probably, see her underwear. That had been a lot and…and she had been loud, maybe….and she had no idea how loud they had been…

Any amount of loudness was too much loudness.

"Don't be sorry….I just…it was a lot…but I liked it…but it was a lot…I'm sorry if it was…gross…or anything" said Mob softly. Her face burned with shame. It must have been too gross. That was why he looked like that, and why he was wiping his fingers on his pants like that.

"I'm not grossed out, I'm flattered. I have no idea…I've just never made a girl that wet befo-I mean I had no idea that I had that effect on you. I like it….I like….I lo-like you." Said Teru. Mob smiled and was about to tell him that she liked him back when she heard a door slam opened, footsteps, something banging against the wall…and then silence.

A paper airplane surrounded by a red aura flew into her room.

Mob caught it with her powers and unfolded it.

"This is from Sho, I can tell by the handwriting, and he wrote in hiranga again. Greetings and salutations. I write this letter to ask you to please…please is written in bold….I can't even read the rest of this…and the last part…but it looks like it's in English or something. I can't believe Sho and Ritsu think…I don't want to read this!" said Mob. How could Sho have thought that she and Teru were….she didn't want Sho or anyone else thinking anything at all about what went on in her room.

Teru took the letter from her.

"Can he just not write with kanji? I mean, he's way too old to be writing in….anyway, he says that we were being too loud, that your parents are arguing about us, that your brother is having a mental breakdown, a heart attack, an aneurysm, and multiple organ failures….well someone's certainly being dramatic…and that's not English that's…ok so we were being loud…whatever, this part is for me….so he can write in German but he can't write with kanji? How does that even….oh. Ok then. He's thanking me for the game idea….which is not something that I ever wanted to be thanked for…but good for them I guess…." Said Teru. He balled up the letter and threw it in the corner.

Mob hid her face in her hands.

She thought that they had been so quiet….and everyone heard anyway….but on the bright side she at least knew what language Teru spoke when they…what was the word for this? Messed around? Fooled around? No, too…no. Played games. When they played games. That sounded less….yeah.

When they played games. It sounded nicer, much nicer. It sounded like something…innocent…that they were doing. That they could do again if they, mostly Mob, weren't about to pass out and die from the embarrassment of having Ritsu and Sho and mom and dad hear them. Mob wondered if they would ever be able to play games again with this embarrassment hanging over them.

Not that they had the chance to do much of anything else, even stew in their embarrassment.

Dad called up the stairs and asked Ritsu and Sho, specifically, if they wanted to go literally anywhere that wasn't in the house for a while. Those were his words. He literally anywhere else. Ritsu dragged Sho out the door, also literally.

Then mom called up the stairs and said that Teru had to go home because she and Mob had a few things to discuss. That meant that she was cross. Nothing good ever came from your mom wanting to discuss things with you. Nothing at all.

That had been nice, though, what they did. Not that the memory of it could lift Mob's spirits through her mother's lecture. Mob was told that she had to keep her door opened and not have sex in the house when everyone was home because it was loud and disrespectful to the family. Also they had a guest, and yes, Sho counted as a guest. He and Ritsu were right there and now they were probably super uncomfortable. Especially since Ritsu didn't even like girls yet. Mob decided to keep her mouth shut about Ritsu and Sho. She was a good secret keeper. Instead Mob just let her mom go off on another tangent, this one about being safe and thinking things through.

Then Mob tried to tell mom that she had not been having sex.

Mom said no doing things of a sexual nature in her room, either.

Mob wanted to know what counted as a sexual nature, exactly. Kissing? Kissing like adults did or regular kissing? Hand holding? Hugging? Long hugs or just short ones? She didn't get into the playing games stuff, that was so obviously sexual, but before people were….touching…like that there were so many steps. At which point did it become sexual? She wanted to know. It seemed important. Besides, Mom seemed to want to talk about this, anyway.

Mom said that anything that happened between Mob and someone that involved touching bare skin was sexual. Then mom told her that it was normal to want to do these things but not when the whole house could hear what she was doing. She said that just because something was natural, and that Mob was someone to do these things with, that didn't mean that the whole house needed to know.

Mob asked why she took those pills every day if she wasn't allowed to have sex…not that she was having sex…and not that she enjoyed saying the world 'sex' to her mother. Mom said that the pills were for in case things ever got out of hand. Extremely out of hand. Fitting together like an EVA and an entry plug out of hand.

Way to ruin EVA, mom.

Then mom said that she needed to learn about being safe beyond taking the pill. She went upstairs and game back with an opened box of what they had passed around in health class….and the box was opened….and some of them were gone…and her mother had gone upstairs to get that box…and now she was holding it…and Mob wanted to melt into the floor and die.

Third impact. Please.

The rest of that afternoon was something that Mob wanted to delete from her mind like a corrupted save file. She would never be able to look at bananas and carrots and cucumbers the same way again. And her parents! She would never be able to sit in the same room as them knowing that they had…things like that…which meant that they still did…things. And Mob was not going to ask mom why she and dad had those if they made pills that kept you from having babies. Moms and dads were not allowed to do things like that. Not after they were done having kids. And they only did that in order to have kids. With the lights off. And without making any noise or touching each other or…Mob did not want these thoughts!

Mom said tough toenails when Mob said that she was embarrassed. The embarrassment that she was feeling right there was the same embarrassment that everyone in the house felt at having to listen to her and Teru do whatever it was that they were doing up there. Mom's words.

To add insult to injury while mom was teaching her how to ruin perfectly innocent produce dad took Ritsu and Sho out for ice-cream! And a trip to the big videogame store! And the pet store! And Costco! And they made Mob help carry…not that she minded carrying in the food that much….but she still would have liked to go along, even if they didn't need anything from Costco…it would have been better than being lectured by mom for hours and hours.

Life was so unfair sometimes.


	4. Dress Up

Mob had never been a big fan of dress up.

When she was little sometimes she'd put on mom's clothes and pretend to be her. She'd put on mom's dress and heels and makeup and perfume and jewelry and just sort of try and be mom. That was when she was little, really little, too little to know how awkward she looked. Nobody had told her, then, that she looked awkward. That was before elementary school, back when she went to half day kindergarten and all the kids were nice. Or maybe just too little to tell that she was so very awkward. She didn't feel awkward until she got older, old enough to feel awkward. When she was old enough to catch sight of herself in mom's full length mirror wearing a red sparkly dress that she was drowning in, shoes that felt more like stilts, her face smeared with reds and pinks and blues, and dangly gold jewelry practically falling off of her, held on by only her powers.

She looked awkward.

Then the mirror shattered. Mom had been very cross with her, then. Cross about the clothes. Cross about the ruined makeup. Cross about the fact that shoes were not to be worn in the house, especially the fancy ones mom kept in their original boxes. Cross about how tangled all of her costume jewelry had gotten. Cross, especially cross, about the broken glass everywhere.

Mom was not cross now, not terribly cross, even though Mob was playing dress up again.

Well she certainly felt like she was.

Having a boyfriend could be kind of expensive. Clothes sure were expensive. So were shoes. Makeup was definitely expensive. Mob could understand why mom had been so cross, before. But she wasn't cross now. That was because Mob was in her own nice clothes, her own high as stilts shoes, and her own makeup. All of it purchased with a combination of money earned from working as well and birthday, Christmas, and Girl's Day money. She was too old to get dolls on Girl's Day, now.

Not that Mob still played with dolls or anything. Those were purely for the collector's value.

She was glad that she didn't get dolls that Christmas. Very glad. That was what far away relatives usually sent her. Dolls and hair brush sets and coloring books and art kits. Ever since she was little. Last year all of that had gotten mom pretty gross.

"Honestly, honey, tell you sister that the children are twelve and thirteen. Enough is enough." Was what mom said. Mob hadn't been too disappointed. She had still, occasionally, played with dolls then. Occasionally. Very occasionally. Once in a long while. She was fourteen now, much too old for dolls. So now she got money.

Which she could spend on whatever she wanted.

She chose to spend it on clothes.

Clothes and makeup and shoes and perfume and jewelry. That was what adults spent their money on, and what they got for Christmas. That was what she had gotten her mom for Christmas, anyway. The five hundred yen store had a gallon of genuine French perfume, and it was on sale! Mom must have liked it, she said so. She just didn't put any on because she was already wearing perfume. Dad had gotten her perfume too, but not as much. The bottle was much prettier, though, but it had come from a department store.

She got dad a Costco sized pact of those pill things that made it so that could have dairy. He said thank you but he didn't look at her. Since that time when she and Teru had been loud, super loud apparently, dad hadn't looked at her that much. He always looked down at his phone when she talked to him. Or he ran to the other room. Or he handed her a few hundred yen and told her to go to the store.

But he always said that he still loved her.

So that was good.

And he liked his Christmas present, too. Mob put a lot of thought into her presents. She needed to make sure that the gifts that she got everyone were thoughtful and useful. That was why she got Ritsu twelve new notebooks, one for each month of the year. In colors he liked, too, because that was important, and a Costco sized box of gel pens. He liked the different colors. She got Sho a Costco sized box of hamster food, the kind the Sunflower liked. but was also extra healthy for her. That was important, Sho wanted Sunflower to live a long time. He really loved Sunflower a lot.

He was a really loving person.

He loved Ritsu a lot. He got Ritsu a new warm hat and scarf, which he needed, and a card. All were made with love, he said. Ritsu didn't read the card out loud, Mob didn't know why, but it was a really nice card. It had a bunch of cute animals on it and sang when Ritsu opened it. It had bene full of glitter, too.

Mob's just had a cat on it, and didn't sing, and it wasn't full of glitter. It just said Merry Christmas. Not that Mob knew why she cared. She was happy to get anything. Sho didn't have to get her anything for Christmas. But he did. A card and an EVA bracelet. So that had been good. She was grateful for all the things that she got for Christmas.

Master Reigen got her a stuffed cat and a raise. Now she made four hundred yen an hour. She wanted to get him a carton of cigarettes but nobody would sell her a carton of cigarettes no matter how many times she promised that they were not for her. She ended up getting him a fancy lighter and cigarette holder from the five hundred yen store. He was always crushing his cigarette box and losing his lighter. He liked it. Well first he told her to never, ever, ever start smoking but then he said that he liked it. Then he tugged her braid.

That had been nice.

All of Christmas had been nice. Everyone liked their gifts and she liked hers. Serizawa like the plastic model she got him, he liked building them. He got her a doll, well a tiny plastic Rei Ayanami, which was for decorative and collector's value. Also because Rei was her favorite character and Serizawa remembered. He didn't tug on her braid though, which was good, because, well, he was Serizawa. Not Master Reigen. Not that she still liked…well she did still like Master Reigen…but she didn't like Serizawa in the same way that she liked Master Reigen.

Not that she should have liked anyone else but Teru.

Because that would be wrong.

She liked Teru. She really liked Teru. She might have even loved Teru. She felt good whenever they were together. She felt like she could do anything, like she could walk on air…which she could if she wanted to but…but there was still that good feeling….was that feeling love? She didn't know. All she knew was that She felt good when they were together, she always thought about him, especially when they were apart…and they had been apart for a while. Christmas meant no school, which meant that she didn't get to see him before or after school. Christmas also meant visiting grandma, both of her grandmas, and that took up a lot of time. Also there was a lot of family stuff that they did together. They went to get a Christmas tree, which took a long time since she and dad were very particular about the tree…well mom was particular too but Mob and dad usually picked out the tree. They only got one and it had to be perfect.

In the end Mob just fixed up a tree until it was up to their standards. Dad almost looked at her when she did it. Then patted her on the head and went to get everyone warm eggnog.

They got eggnog at most of the Christmas things that they did. Egg nog was good and it went with everything. Baking cookies, making the Christmas cake, going to KFC, seeing Santa, petting the reindeer that, in Mob's opinion, didn't much care for being petted…all of it was family time.

Which meant no Teru.

But Sho could come too because mom and dad thought that he was an orphan. Also they didn't know that he was Ritsu's boyfriend, if they knew they would have said no. Probably. Sometimes Mob thought that it was unfair. Ritsu got to spend almost every moment of his life with the love of his life. Mob barely even saw Teru over the break. Not even on Christmas Eve…but now Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were over and that meant a break from family time. Not that she didn't love her family, which she did, but she also…she really wanted to see Teru…

And not just to play games together.

She wanted to talk to him in person, not just over the phone. She wanted to sit with him and just talk. Well she talked and he listened, sometimes, and he talked and she listened. Sometimes nobody talked and they just sort of sat together. She'd rest herself against him and they'd just sit. Sometimes she'd lay down, too, and he'd lay behind her on the couch while they watched TV….and his arm would be under her head and the other would be around her waist….and it would just be so cozy…

She missed that.

It wasn't that he was banned from her house or anything, no, just her room. Mom said that he was banned from her room until Mob could prove that she was responsible. How Mob was to go about proving that she did not know but she tried very hard. She put the cap back on the shampoo and the toothpaste and never forgot her cup noodle in the microwave and didn't accidentally bend any spoons, and when Teru came over they stayed in the living room and only in the living room…which was fine.

Totally fine.

The most fine. She didn't mind that she and Teru never got any alone time anymore. She didn't mind that if mom wasn't in the room with them she made Ritsu and Sho hang out with them. She didn't mind that she hadn't had any privacy, even within limits, for so long…

"Privacy is a privilege, Shigeko." Was what mom had said. Mob knew about privileges and she knew that she had no idea how to get this one back. None whatsoever. None at all. So she hadn't been alone with him in so, so, so long and it wasn't even about the games they played….though she missed those…

More than she thought that she would.

The more they did the less afraid she got, which made sense, but she also wanted more. It was like those jungle fish that would jump out of the river and strip the flesh from your bones if they smelled even a drop of human blood…but less gruesome. Much less gruesome. It still felt like it would devour her though, this feeling, sometimes. This big and new and scary and exciting feeling. This feeling that she needed to feed, or starve, her plan changed from week to week, day to day, even hour to hour, sometimes.

Thank goodness for forget the year parties.

That was where mom and dad were going. They were always out all night on the thirty first. They went to dad's work do first, then mom's work do second, and then somewhere else third, and then when they came home in the morning they were all happy but also tired from all the drinking. They were cuddly afterwards, too, and they kissed a lot. More than parents were allowed to kiss.

Mob did not want to think about that.

She chose, instead, to think about the complete and total freedom that she would have tonight. Mom and dad had left for dad's work do. She could…if she wanted to she could have been out all night. She could have been out all night and nobody would know. It wasn't a lie, not really, because mom and dad hadn't asked where she was going. They hadn't even hired a sitter or had one of the grandmas come over. Mob had been in charge, because she was oldest, since she was twelve and Ritsu was eleven. Mom and dad wouldn't know a thing.

What they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

It was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

When God closed a door he opened a window.

Good things came to those who ate China Castle's brand fortune cookies.

Ok, so that last one hadn't been great, cookie based, wisdom. She had just been thinking of fortune cookies. That was a less…awkward…thing to think about. Not how she looked. Not how she looked in this dress she got on sale, possibly because it was so uncomfortable…and short…or how she looked in her new shoes which were easier to walk in when she was at the store…or the makeup that she didn't really know how to put on…but Youtube had been helpful…and Rei from the Awakening Lab had told her what to do…but this still didn't look like anything but an awkward mess….

At least she had on a lot of perfume. A lot was good. She got a gallon of it, there was a two for one sale at the five hundred yen store, and she put on enough of it so that she could smell it. She even tried to do her hair. Well she didn't braid it, and brushed it and let it loose, which was kind of like doing it….and he liked her hair….

And he did always say that she was pretty. That she was so damn pretty….

But she wanted him…to like how she looked…if that made any sense…

So she played dress up.

Even though it was cold out she still…well she could make herself feel warmer while she was out with her powers. She shouldn't use her powers in such mundane ways but it was cold out there…so it was ok. For her wellbeing. Yes, it wasn't mundane if it was for her wellbeing. Besides, she was uncomfortable enough already. She tugged at her back with her powers. How did people walk around in these things all day? Bras sucked. She missed her undershirt. It was warm and cotton and soft and nice. This thing was all itchy and poky and the straps kept on sliding down her shoulders which was annoying. Maybe this wasn't the right size…not that she had measured…or let the store ladies measure…because that would have been too much. It was hard enough going to the fancy underwear store for girls with boyfriends and also married girls, women, she guessed. She just sort of grabbed the first thing that fit, sort of, and the underwear that matched. Those were itchy too. So itchy. Why was lace so itchy? Why did they put something so itchy on underwear? You couldn't even scratch without embarrassing herself.

But it would be worth it.

If they ever got that far.

But if they did she was wearing something nicer than the white underwear and undershirts that mom got at Costco. Not that there was anything wrong with Costco, they just had really plain and boring underwear. It was cheaper there, though, a lot cheaper. Well because it was so boring…like Mob usually was….but now she wasn't boring. She was just awkward.

Like right now. She was as awkward as a three legged giraffe on stilts.

She decided to leave the shoes at home. The first shaky step she made away from her mirror sent her tumbling to the ground. Maybe that was why there were on clearance. Also there was snow on the ground and she didn't think that she could keep it all off with her powers. Well she could but it would have been annoying. Also her feet would have been very cold.

She decided to wear tights. The skin colored kind, the ones what were kind of see through but not really, that you were supposed to wear when you dressed up, when you were older….stockings! Yes, that was what they were called.

There. Less cold. Less awkward.

Mob decided that she had used up enough time playing dress up. She was going to Teru's apartment. They were going to have dinner. Maybe there, maybe somewhere else. All she knew was that she would not be at home. No, Ritsu and Sho were there, and Sho told her to go away. Well he shoved a handful of small bills into her hand and told her to go out and find some fun and not come back until tomorrow. Mob was not going to argue with him.

Especially not after hearing her brother say, very clearly through the wall, 'green light'.

Yeah…no. Just no. She did not want to be in the same house, the same street, the same neighborhood, the same city, the same prefecture, the same country, the same continent, the same planet, the same dimension as whatever was going on in Ritsu's room at that moment in existence.

Nope.

She would gladly brave the cold, the snow, the sleet, the hail, and whatever else the elements could throw at her if it meant that she did not have to hear or even be the slightest bit aware of what was happening on other side of that wall….and now she knew what mom and dad were punishing her for. Oh. Right. She needed to apologize again. Most certainly. But first she had to brave the elements.

And that was what she did.

In the end she just flew, even though that was cheating, because it was cold and snowy outside. She put a barrier around herself as she flew. She didn't want to ruin her dress up game. Better to look awkward then to look messy and disheveled. Even though she was awkward Teru might still think that she was pretty…he was always telling her that she was….even when she was in her uniform.

But this was considerably shorter and tighter and less comfortable than her uniform.

That was the rule of clothes. The less comfortable she was the better she looked. Not that she was even sure that she looked good. Not that she was even sure that she looked like anything more than someone had exploded a makeup bomb all over her face. Not that she looked like anything else other than someone playing dress up in clothes that did nothing for her….Teru's words. Well he never directed those words at her but he did say, when they went shopping together, that muted and neutral colors did nothing for him. Nothing at all.

Not that Mob could see what he meant. He looked good in everything, even the plain blue shirt that he picked out that last time they went shopping together. He looked nice in it…it had a lot of buttons…and he hadn't done them all up…and he hadn't been wearing an undershirt...

He wasn't in that shirt, though, not now. Not when he opened his door, the door to his apartment, where he lived all alone….not when he stared at her like he had never seen her before…

"Hi." Said Mob as he stared at her. She stared right back. That was a nice shirt, too. Purple. His pants were nice too, green. Unit 1. The same colors. That must have been a coincidence, though, because he never remembered very much about EVA. That was why he was always asking her about it.

"Come in! Sorry, wow, I thought my voice was done changing…um…come in….let me take your coat." Said Teru after a little bit of staring. While he stared Mob shifted in place a little. Her powers lifted her hair up like they were apt to do. She held her skirt down with her hands. Thank goodness she had worn her usual shoes, otherwise she would have gone toppling to the floor.

She almost did, actually.

When he took her coat, he actually took it off of her, their auras touched and for a moment all she could see, think, FEEL was him. Teru. She almost fell to the ground. He grabbed the wall, too, she thought that he must have been feeling the same thing. Things? She felt a lot in that moment. So much. Too much.

"That was…new. Anyway, happy New Year!" said Teru as he hung her coat up. He was red, not as red as he got when they played games but still sort of red. A dusting of it across his face.

"Happy New Year, Teru. I…I missed you a lot." Said Mob because, well, she had. She had been missing him for so very long. It felt like an eternity since she'd last seen him, last been alone with him, even though it hadn't even been two weeks. Was this love? Needing to be with someone all the time? Well not all the time but….but a lot of the time. Not every moment of every day, that would have been too much, but she thought about him a lot.

Did he think about her, too?

In all the ways that she did?

"I miss you more than words can ever express." Said Teru. Mob smiled.

"My Love in Bloom 2: My Love Blooms Eternal. It's not as good as the first one, well Ritsu says so, but I like how they gave them a happy ending. Even if it was straight to streaming it was still nice how they got together at the end." Said Mob. Teru looked down and played with the hem of his shirt a little. It was shiny and looked like silk, purple silk, like someone had spun the color purple into something that people could wear. She wanted to reach out and touch it to see how soft it was…

But she didn't.'

Because it was just…a lot. She wanted and she didn't want…because it was a lot…and they weren't playing anything….so she didn't know what the rules were.

"Well yes. I mean, if it's already been said then why not say it again…I mean…" said Teru

"I understand. Sometimes words are hard for me, too. I don't mind when you say things from movies, Teru. It doesn't bother me at all, I like it. I like everything that you have to say." Said Mob softly. She looked down, too. She played with the hem of her dress. He still played with the hem of his shirt.

"Did you like your gift?" asked Teru suddenly. Mob looked up. Her eyes met his. They were blue, very blue, especially in the dim lighting. Most of the lights were off. In their place she could see dim…candles? No, not fire, those were electric candles. Mom had bought some for their house the last time the power went out so badly that dad couldn't even fix it by playing with the breakers. They had a family, plus Sho, camp out in the living room. It had been nice. The power still worked here, though, probably because the electric heater was still on. Maybe he was saving on electricity? Or maybe he just felt like sitting in the near darkness. It was nice, the near darkness, the atmosphere of it…almost like they were the only two people in the world. The world was built for two after all….

"I did, thank you. You didn't have to get me anything so nice, though." said Mob. Teru had gotten her an EVA T-shirt, her own EVA T-shirt, so she wouldn't have to share with Ritsu anymore. This one was green and purple and had UNIT 1 on the front and back. It was soft and big and comfortable, just how she liked it. Not that she had worn it. She needed to keep it nice, she needed to keep it special.

It was from Teru.

She had gotten him a bunch of lotion. The kind he liked. Winterberry for his face, citrus for his skin, and gingerbread for when he woke up. Nine bottles in total, three of each. That way he wouldn't run out anytime soon. She knew his routine and figured that lotion would be a good and practical gift.

He smelled like gingerbread and winterberries and citrus fruits.

It was nice.

"I wanted to. You love that show and you're always saying that you have to share your favorite shirt with your brother, which is tragic, because you deserve your own favorite shirt from your own favorite show." Said Teru

"And videogame series." Said Mob

"And videogame series." Said Teru smiling. He was smiling a little. When he was happy he smiled so you could see his front teeth. When he was really happy he smiled wide enough to see his pointy teeth. They had a real name. She and Ritsu used to call them vampire teeth, but they could not have actually been called vampire teeth.

"And manga." Said Mob after a moment because, well, EVA was a lot of things.

"And manga. I can't believe I forgot about the manga." Said Teru

"It's ok, a lot of people forget the manga. It's different from the show so a lot of people don't read it. Also it went on for a really long time after the show and the Rebuild movies ended. I think that in some ways it's better because-" said Mob before she was kissed.

It was wonderful.

It wasn't deep, not like when they shared a piece of gum, but it was still nice. Her first kiss, her first real kiss, in so very long…nothing could make this moment more perfect than it was at that moment. Nothing at all, she thought, until his hands found her waist and pulled her close.

"Teru…" said Mob. Her eyes were closed. They felt heavy, and not just from all the pink stuff she put on them. She tried to open her eyes but they got stuck a little. That eyelash stuff was sticky, very sticky. Still, it made her look pretty. Pretty enough for Teru to just lean in and kiss her…

"Sorry! I just…I really wanted to do that….you have no idea how badly I wanted to do that…but I should have asked and-" said Teru

"Teru, don't say sorry. Don't ever say sorry for kissing me. I love it when we kiss and I want to do it again, and a lot, and a lot more often too. I think we'll be able to kiss more, when school starts, or at least when the holidays are over." Said Mob. Even in the dim light she could see that some of her lipstick had ended up on Teru. She smiled, just a little, because it was funny. Not funny enough to laugh at but still funny.

"I know you like it…I just don't want to scare you away." Said Teru. Mob rested her head on his collar bone. His shirt was soft, so soft, like the world's softest pillow case. It was nice. He smelled so good…Mob wanted to spend the rest of her life there, with him, in that moment. But she couldn't. Eventually she would have to go home. Well her legs would get tired before it was time to go home.

"Teru, you could never scare me away." Said Mob. She felt his fingers in her hair.

"I know I just….don't want to risk it. I just lo-like you so much…" said Teru. He got really quiet after that. He just sort of played with her hair. She let him. She loved it, the feel of his fingers running through her hair. She did that full body shudder a few times when he went slowly…his fingers brushing against her back…against the itchy zipper….

They were all alone.

She took a step closer to him, not that they hadn't already been close to begin with, but she pressed more of herself against him. He took a step back.

"Dinner! I got us dinner! It's in the…I put it on the coffee table because I know…I know you like to watch TV while you eat sometimes…and I thought that the couch would be more…intimate…not that we have to be! I mean, whatever you want. I've even got a spare futon you can sleep on, or the couch if you want…whatever you want." Said Teru as he took her by the hand and led her into the living room. There were tiny electric candles everywhere. On the coffee table were two, big, jubako boxes.

Mom and dad had already gotten some for Mob, Sho, and Ritsu but she could eat again.

She sat down on the couch. He stood and just looked at her. He ping-ponged between sitting next to her, then on the floor, and then next to her again. She told him to sit wherever he was the most comfortable. This was his house after all. He could sit wherever he chose, even on the ceiling if he wanted to. She and Ritsu used to do that, when they were little.

"No, it's ok. I mean we can eat on the ceiling if you want to but….I just don't want to make you uncomfortable. I mean….you've never stayed the night with anyone before, I'm guessing…and neither have I…so I just…yeah…." Said Teru. She looked over at him as she processed what he said. He looked right back, for a little bit, before he started eating. He must have been very hungry because he was eating very fast, like he hadn't eaten anything all day…

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" asked Mob. She could have been out all night, and Sho told her to be out all night, but she didn't want to impose. Also she didn't bring her pajamas or her hairbrush or her toothbrush or her phone charger. She could borrow those things from Teru but that would have been even more of an imposition on top of assuming that he wanted her to sleep over.

But it seemed like he assumed that she would.

Or maybe not because he was choking, now.

She hit him on the back with her powers and handed him the green tea soda that had been on the table. The carbonated milk was obviously for her. There was a bottle of something sitting on the table, too, but she didn't know which one of them that was supposed to be for.

"If-if that's what you want! I mean, sure! I want to…I want to do whatever you want to do. Just…sure. Why not? We're in a committed relationship…and it is New Year's…so yeah. Yes. I want this." said Teru between sips of soda.

"Ok. Do we both fit on your bed? I can sleep anywhere, really, it doesn't have to be your bed…but I would like to sleep next to you. Also can I borrow some pajamas? And a toothbrush? And a hairbrush? And your phone charger?" said Mob. This was…nice. A lot but…but a good a lot. Sleeping in the same bed didn't necessarily mean that they would…do that….but maybe….maybe not THAT but…things. They had started to do things the last time they had been alone together….and it had been nice…

And they were all alone.

"Oh. You meant literally…of course you meant literally what were you thinking, Teruki? Of course she meant literally." Said Teru. He muttered to himself a lot, and talked to himself like he was talking to someone else. She wondered why he did that but she didn't ask. It didn't seem like the thing to ask about. Besides, it was cute when he did that.

"I did mean literally. I want to sleep in your bed, or wherever, with you, or just in your apartment." Said Mob. She could see how red Teru was getting, even in the dim lighting. She had said something wrong, again. Awkward phrasing. Words were so hard, sometimes.

"Sure! I mean, sure. Wherever you want. We can both fit in my bed…not that I've ever tried, before. You're the first girl I've ever had stay overnight." Said Teru

"Because your old apartment exploded." Said Mob

"...no. Because I've never had a girl I cared about enough to have her stay the night." Said Teru. He took her hand when he said that. He made eye contact with her, searing eye contact. She had heard that phrase before, searing eye contact, and she didn't get it then but she got it now. It felt like she was being seared, but in a good way. Not like when Sho's dad set her on fire and all of her skin burnt off. This was different. The more he looked at her the redder she got. Not just the usual red she got but…but different.

She felt hungry.

There was food in front of her but she didn't want it. She wanted…she wanted to be touched. To be held. To be kissed. Because it had been a long time, so long, too long. Too long since she'd been properly kissed, now that she knew what it was to be properly kissed. Too long since she'd been properly held, not that she knew what it felt like to be properly held. Too long since she'd been properly touched, now that she knew-

But she didn't know.

She had no clue what it was to be properly touched. None whatsoever. He had touched her so briefly….too briefly….and it had been a lot but it had also been good. She thought about it a lot. When she was alone and she was sure that everyone was asleep. The way he felt. The way his hands felt on her bare skin. Her breasts. Her stomach. Her inner thighs. The brief time that he spent between her legs. All of it.

It was like she was possessed by it.

It wasn't like she didn't think of these things before, she had, and about lots of other people…and she still thought about lots of other people. She still thought about what it would be like if Master Reigen were ever to take her back into the massage room and rub her back…and other stuff….and she still thought about what it would be like if-if she hadn't been so scared back then and let Tome…because Tome would have been good at it, she was a girl after all, and she wouldn't have asked every ten seconds if it was ok…and also Mob wanted to touch…and she'd no how to touch Tome because she was a girl…and it would be good…and there were other girls too…like Tsubomi who was so pretty and nice…

It wasn't that Mob hadn't thought about these things before. She just thought about them more, now.

Constant, intrusive, thoughts.

The thoughts came with the stretch marks on her thighs, stomach, and breasts. The thoughts came with the light dusting of hair she got between her legs and under her arms. The thoughts came with the soreness in her chest and the tightening of her undershirts. The thoughts came with all of the other new, kind of scary, but very new things that had been happening to her all at once and without warning these past couple of months.

Health class did not prepare her for this.

She was not prepared for where he mind kept on going while she and Teru ate. He ate much faster than she did, he must have really been hungry, and the real kind of hungry. Not the hungry that she felt right there in that moment while she pictured him and everyone else she knew that wasn't related to her in states of affairs that she knew she was not supposed to picture them in. Especially not Master Reigen, because he was an adult…and especially not Tome because she had a boyfriend….and especially not Sho because he was her little brother's boyfriend and he didn't like her, or maybe even any girl, like that anyway…

Also she had a boyfriend.

Teru. He was sitting right there.

If she had a boyfriend then why did she keep on thinking about other people? Was she a bad person? Was she going to end up a cheater? When you had a boyfriend you were supposed to think about him and only him. Teru certainly didn't think about anyone else…right? Mob tries not to think about it. Maybe this was why nobody had telepathy. Nobody wanted it. Your thoughts were supposed to be your own. If Teru knew what she thought about he'd probably kick her out forever.

The things about other people, not the things about him.

Or maybe he wouldn't want to know the things that she thought about him, either. He was always saying that she had intimacy issues but sometimes it felt like he did. He was always, constantly, asking if she was ok with what she was doing. It might have been like how if someone was always asking if you were hungry that meant that they were hungry. That might have been it. That was why she didn't push him. That was why she didn't unzip her dress, kick off her stockings, and tell him to finish what he started the last time that they were alone.

Because she knew how it felt when someone just sprang that stuff on you.

It was scary.

And she did not want to scare Teru away.

"If you don't like it I can order you something else." Said Teru. Mob looked down. Oh. She had barely eaten anything.

She wasn't that kind of hungry.

"I'm fine. We had this at home, earlier, that's all. I'm not that hungry. You can have mine, though, you seem pretty hungry." Said Mob. She played with the hem of her dress. It was short. Short and pink. Her powers were playing with some of the candles. Black shadows were cast across her dress. She watched the shadows dance.

He watched her.

"…I'm fine. Just…what do you want to do? I mean, we have the whole night. We can watch a movie, play videogames, whatever you want." Said Teru. Mob didn't look up.

"Teru…what do you want to do?" asked Mob. She still didn't look up at him. She could see his aura, though, the way it moved. Surprise. Happiness. Nervousness.

"I want…I want whatever you want. Shigeko. I want whatever you want. It's like I said before…everything's a green light with me." Said Teru

"You said that but I don't feel like you mean it. You keep on asking me if everything is ok, if I want what we're doing, and I do…and I appreciate you asking, too, because I don't like to be surprised like that. I don't really have intimacy issues….I just don't like to be surprised. Also sometimes I feel like you do…because you're always asking me if I'm ok. It might be like when someone asks you a bunch of times if you're hungry but what they're really asking is if you want to go and eat because they're hungry. That never made any sense to me because-" said Mob

"I just don't want to scare you off. You said it yourself, you don't like being surprised with things like…that. That's why you broke up with your girlfriend, because she never asked. That's why I ask." Said Teru

"You can ask but not every single second. Teru…I know what I want and what I want is you." Said Mob. Teru made a noise that Mob could not place. The empty soda cans next to him went flying off the table. His doing.

"I…I want you too…but not just for that…but I do…I want that with you. I want that with you so badly bur I'm afraid…I'm afraid that if I get what I want then I'll lose what I have." Said Teru softly. Mob took his hand.

"Teru, I don't think that we'll lose what we have. If you're talking about us breaking up that won't happen because I don't want to break up with you. I'm not going to get scared off. I like…I like the stuff that we do." Said Mob. She held his hand in hers. He held her hand in his. Now it was his turn to look away.

"You didn't, that's the thing. When I tried to…to get you to…when I tried to make you feel good you made me stop." Said Teru. He still wouldn't look at her. She looked at him. She tried to…to somehow see what he was thinking. It was written on his face but she could not read it. It was written in a language that she could not speak. His aura…she spoke auras. She knew what his aura was saying.

He was embarrassed.

He was nervous.

But why?

"Teru…you did make me feel good. I felt so good….and I keep on thinking about it. I think about how you touched me…and how good it felt…and I want to feel like that again. I want to feel like that again and-and-and I want to make you feel good, too." Said Mob

"….if you like it then…then why did you make me stop?" asked Teru quietly

"I didn't say red light, I said orange light. I would have said green light again but then my parents made you go home…but I did want to say green light…and I'm saying it now. Green light." Said Mob just as softly. Now Teru was looking at her, again.

"Greenlight to…to what? I mean…I know what I want but…but I don't know what you want. I mean, do you just want me to…" said Teru. He reached down with his other hand and put it on her thigh. High on her thigh.

"Green light. This is a green light thing…I want…I mean I want you to…keep going. I want you to…to keep going from where we left off. We never finished the game." Said Mob softly. She felt it, the searing warmth of his hand on her thigh. She could feel it through her stockings. He played with the material. His fingers pinched and pulled. Upwards. Inwards.

She let him.

She turned to face him, more. She faced him and parted her thighs just a bit, just a tiny bit. Enough to show him what she wanted…what she wanted him to do. His hand slowly made it more and more inwards until it was between her legs.

She rocked towards him.

"Teru….you don't…you won't scare me off. I want this…I want this from you." Said Mob. She closed her eyes. She was breathing, now, not that she hadn't been breathing before. Now she was breathing a lot more, of maybe she was just noticing her breathing a lot more. Maybe because she was noticing his breathing. Maybe because she could feel his breath on her face. He was putting more and more of his weight on top of her.

She let him.

She leaned back until she her head was resting against an impossibly soft couch pillow. She shifted so that her legs weren't all folded under her like she was some kind of contortionist. She was laying on her back and Teru was practically laying on top of her. Her legs were resting on either side of him. One hand was still in between her thighs, way and there and much too low, and the other was bracing him into a sort of half laying position. Mob leaned up and kissed him.

He said something, he said a lot of somethings, but he didn't stop kissing her long enough for her to understand him. He talked as he kissed her. He kissed her deeply, then slowly, then quickly, then it turned into just a barrage of pecks to her lips…her cheeks…her ear…her neck…

But his hand did not want to move.

No matter how many times she rocked into his hand it did not move. He was close, so close, the closest. Out of reach.

"Teru…Teru I want to be with you….I want you to…" said Mob trying to find some words. Teru had plenty of words as he kissed her. He had so many words, the most words. None of them were in Japanese. He said words that were familiar but unknown.

"_Mein Gott."_

"_Ich liebe dich verdammt."_

"_Ich liebe dich Shigeko."_

"_Ich liebe dich Mob."_

He said those words over and over again, before, but not now. Now he was silent. Now he was just looking at her. He was looking at her like he was…scared? Excited? What? His aura was happy. Happy and…apprehensive. So was hers. As much as she wanted this…it was a lot…but she did want this. She had so much time to want this, to think about this, to become comfortable with this…

She wanted this.

"Shigeko….I-I-I want…I want this too" said Teru

"And I'm giving you permission. Ok? You won't scare me off, I promise." Said Mob

"I just…I'm nervous. I don't know what to do…I mean I do know what to do…and I know what I want…and I know what you want…and I know what we…what we could do…and I know...how I feel…" said Teru. He stopped kissing her, now. He was just lying there. So was she. They were laying there together. The darkness threatened to encroach on them. They were both moving the candles, now. They were both making the shadows dance across the room.

They were doing it together.

"I'm nervous too. I've never done this with anyone before. I don't know what to do or when or where or how. I really don't know but I know how I feel about you and I know that I trust you." Said Mob. Teru rested his head in the space between her head and her shoulder. He weighted a lot, not that she would tell him that, but he was crushing her a little. He inhaled, deeply, and his chest pressed against hers. Then she inhaled. Exhaled. He inhaled. Exhaled.

"You smell…nice." Said Teru after a while.

"It's perfume. I got my mom a gallon of genuine French perfume for Christmas and they were having a two for one holiday sale." Said Mob. Teru laughed. He laughed into the space between her neck and her chest. He kissed her, a little, as he laughed.

"That is so you…you are just so…you." Said Teru

"Who else would I be?" asked Mob. Of course she was herself. She couldn't be anyone either than herself. She reached up and put her arms around his back. His shit was still soft, so soft. She could feel the buttons against her dress. This short, impossibly short, dress. This dress that she knew was riding up. She didn't care if he saw her underwear.

She wanted him to.

That was why she wore nice ones.

That was why she played dress up. So that he could see her. So that he could see her and tell her that she was pretty, so pretty, so damn pretty. He thought that she was so damn pretty. She wanted to hear that from him every moment of day. That she was pretty. That he cared about her. That she was…that she was herself. That he liked her. That he liked her because she was herself. Her awkward self. Her weird self. She was Mob, she was Shigeko, and she was what he wanted.

She was his girlfriend.

He was her boyfriend.

And in that moment she wanted nothing more than to share herself with him and to have him share himself in return. In love. In body. In every way possible. Telling him. Kissing him. Touching him. Loving him. The world was small, the world was this apartment, and it was built for two. She knew that she was getting carried away again, that one thing led to another, and she wanted…she wanted to see where this would go. She wanted to follow this path. She wanted to see where it went. She would turn back when it got to be too much but right now she wanted to follow it. With Teru.

"Nobody. You wouldn't be anybody else and that's…that's why I l-…I lo-…I-I-I lov…" said Teru. He sighed and sat back down. He got off of her and sat down on his side of the couch. Mob sat up. She sat up and just watched him.

"There are so many things that I want to say to you but I just….I don't know how." Said Teru softly. He was playing with his hands. He was looking down and playing with his hands. His powers were playing with the candles around them. So was Mob. She was moving some, he was mobbing others. She felt her hair, her hair now loose from their constant braids, as floating all around her like she was underwater. His hair was too short to float, it just swayed. It swayed like a field of wheat in the night. Mob wanted to step into that field, to dive into it, and to never come out.

"I understand." Said Mob

"You do?" asked Teru, his aura perking up along with his head. Mob nodded.

"I have trouble talking sometimes. Not making words but picking them. Sometimes I just…I can't express what I feel…or want to say. That's kind of why I like this. This feeling, this god feeling, you make me feel like this. You make me feel like this and I just…I want to feel good. I want to feel good and I want you to make me feel good. I'm not…I'm not sure where my line is, for that, but I want to find it…with you…and I want to find your lines…too. I want us to find them together…and I missed you so much…and I've been thinking about what we were doing, before, and how good it felt…but also how…surprising…but I want to…to finish that. I want to finish our game and I just…I want other things….but I don't know how to say it…or how to ask you to…or if I can….so I understand. There are a lot of things that I want to say to you but I don't know how to, either." Said Mob. Teru laced his fingers in hers again.

"Mob…Shigeko….I want this to be perfect for you. I think…I think that you're perfect. Perfection. _Du bist perfection._" Said Teru

"What does that mean? You say a lot of things and I don't know what they mean…but I feel like they're good things. That's why you say them to me…and you say them like that. I love it when you say things like that." Said Mob. She was blushing, flushing, flushing all the blood in her body to her face.

"It means…I said that you were perfection." Said Teru softly. Mob gasped, just a little, because…wow. That was wow. She was perfection. Not perfect…perfection. She didn't know what the difference was between being perfect and being perfection. All she knew was that when he said it she felt it throughout her entire body. It moved from her chest, up her spine, to her head, and then it raced down her body to her toes which curled in her stockings, and then settled where she wanted him to…to make her feel good.

"Why not just always say it in Japanese? Then I would be able to understand you….I mean I like it when you say it in your language, I like it a lot, but if you said it in Japanese then I could understand you better." Said Mob

"Because….because sometimes I just don't know how to say it in Japanese. Not literally, I speak both languages fluently, but just…how I can say something like that to you. Shigeko….Mob…you're the only girl that I've ever wanted to say these things to…and I just…I guess that I'm scared. I'm scared that it's going to be too much…what I want to say to you is going to be too much." Said Teru. Mob took his under hand in his.

"Teru, I want to know what you have to say. I don't care if it sounds awkward or anything….I'm awkward….and unless it's mean things you won't make me leave. You could never say mean things to me, anyway." Said Mob

"…I did…" said Teru softly, so softly that Mob could barely hear him over the hum of the electric heater.

'When? I don't remember." Said Mob. Teru reached up to her wrist and began to play with her EVA bracelet. Green. Purple. White. Blue. Red. Black. Beads strung together on a stretch plastic string. Delicate. Strong. Kind of like him. He really was delicate. Squishy. He could have been squished, back on that day, beneath the falling buildings….the flying debris….and force of Sho's dad barrier as he tried to squish all of them like the insects that they were, his words…

She doesn't like this. Remembering. She remembers, sometimes, and she doesn't like to. It happened and now it was over. Here she was in the future. She won. It was all over. Teru may have been squishy but he was still alive. He didn't get squished…die…when she and Sho's dad fought…and he didn't die when he fought that blind man with no eyes….and he didn't die when his old apartment exploded….

She clutches his other hand tighter.

He didn't even say anything bad to her on that day, that day when she could barely keep the battle away from her friends and they all almost died so many times….

"When we met. The first time. When you dressed up like a guy and…and did that exorcism thing at my school…I said a bunch of awful shit to you…and then later on when we fought…I-I-I almost killed you…" said Teru. Mob held his hand even tighter. Her aura was visible now. The bottle on the table rolled to the floor, thankfully not shattering. The books on his shelf came tumbling down to the ground again but they always did that….

"Teru, that's over. You aren't that person anymore and I don't hold that against you. I forgive you." Said Mob

"But I don't…I can't forgive myself for what I did to you…what I said to you…the kind of person that I was. I just…I don't deserve you. I know that I don't deserve you. I don't think that anyone does. You're….you're perfection. You're perfection and caring and truth and safety and-and-and I just feel like you're everything good in this world! You're everything good in this world and I'm just…not. I'm not and I just…I have no idea what you even see in me sometimes." Said Teru. Mob didn't think. She just leaned forwards and threw her arms around him.

"Teru….I see you. I see the good person that you are now. I feel like that too…like I don't know why you're with me. I'm not…you could be with a girl who's pretty and popular but you picked me. I don't know a lot of things. I don't know how to dress pretty or act normal or…or any of that stuff. The stuff that you're good at. I just don't know why….I mean even know I feel like I'm just playing dress up…and I just…." Said Mob.

Then she was kissed.

"You're pretty." She was kissed.

"You're popular." She was kissed.

"You're amazing." She was kissed.

"You're everything." She was kissed.

"You're my everything." She was kissed again.

"And I….I love you." Said Teru. He whispered this. He whispered breathlessly to her. His arms were around her. Her arms were around his. She just…stopped for a moment. She just stopped and felt him. She felt him all around her. His body. His breath. The smell of his lotion. The rise and fall of his chest against her. The way his toenails poked through his socks and against his foot. The way his aura covered hers. Thrummed against her.

He loved her.

Teruki Hanazawa loved her.

Love. The big word for it. The word for it reserved for movies and manga and anime. The dramatic word for it. Love. He loved her. He was in love with her. This was…

This was the moment beautiful moment of her life.

She wanted to bottle this moment. She wanted to put the two of them in a bottle and cap it so that they could never escape. They were just the two of them. The two of them, together, in that little world of his apartment. Teru and Mob. Him and her.

Love.

She sighed. A breathy sort of sigh that she had no idea how she made…and if she could ever make again. He loved her. She had…she had never in her life thought that she would hear those words from another person….in the romantic sense…but she had heard them….she had heard them from Teru…

And there was only one thing to say.

I love you too, Teru." Said Mob because, well, what else could she say? She loved him back and he needed to know that. She knew…she knew that she did. Because….because he was himself. Because he had changed for her. Because he had fought with her. Because he had almost died for her. Because he was so nice to her. Because he cared about her. Because he loved her.

And she loved him.

And she was kissed again.

She could taste green tea. She wondered if he could taste carbonated milk. Dinner was long forgotten and had toppled to the ground. The boxes were closed to the food inside was probably still good. That bottle on the ground still hadn't shattered, though Mob could hear it banging against the legs of the table. She looked down. Oh. It had sparkling juice inside.

Not that she was thirsty.

With the amount of Teru's spit in her mouth she doubted that she could ever be thirsty again. She doubted that he could ever be thirsty again, either. Or maybe he was. It was like he was trying to drink her down like she was that bottle of juice. The way he crashed his mouth over, against, into hers. The way his tongue seemingly tried to touch every corner of her mouth at once. The way she could barely get a kiss in edgewise. He was so…enthusiastic. He kissed her like this was the last kiss that he would ever have in his lifetime.

Then he put enough of his weight on her that Mob laid down again.

And she wondered if this would be the last kiss of her life because she felt like she was going to die.

His hands were everywhere. Her face, her neck, her stomach, her breasts, her thighs, everywhere. His mouth was everywhere, too. Where his hands left his mouth followed. Her mouth. The corner of her mouth. Her ear, even, and she gasped out his name when he took it between his teeth. She gasped out his name and begged, honestly begged, for him to just keep **going**.

And he did.

He shifted so that he was more in between her legs. She didn't think, not for a moment, she just acted. She hitched her legs on either side of him and just **pulled. ** She pulled him in, down, and just sort of felt him.

He didn't move.

He didn't breathe.

Even his aura went still.

And that was when Mob knew that she messed up. She should have asked. He said that everything was green light but…but she still should have asked. If she had asked then she wouldn't have crossed one of his lines and he wouldn't be upset with her. He must have been upset with her. That must have been why he was being so very quiet.

"Shigeko…we can go to…my bed…if you want." Said Teru. For once Mob knew exactly what he meant. He didn't meant to sleep, he would have just said that he wanted to go to sleep if he did, and he didn't seem sleepy at all, anyway. No. He was wide awake and he wanted….he wanted them to go to his bed.

Ok.

Sure.

Mob wanted….not that. Not sex. Sex would be…too much. Way too much. She had never even come close to having another person ever even come close to…to that. Well Teru had…and she wanted them to pick up where they had left off. She wanted to start from their last save point, not go straight to the final boss. She wanted to open up to where they left off, now open to the last page.

But she did want to do…something.

"Teru…I don't want to…to have sex with you right now…but I want to feel good…and I want you to feel good, too." Said Mob. She felt him on her, around her, and he felt amazing. How much more…he wasn't even doing anything, now, and every nerve in her body felt like it was on fire. She was on fire. She was burning, burning for him, and it was a wonderful way to burn.

So wonderful.

"Then….let's go…to bed" said Teru breathlessly. He was breathing so deeply, so heavily, but it still sounded like he wasn't getting enough air. He pulled her into a sitting position. Their dinner was long forgotten. The candles were tossed every which where. Shadows made no sense. Nothing made sense.

Her legs were jelly.

So he carried her.

He scooped her up and he carried her. She had seen this in a bunch of movies before. Not people doing it movies, she didn't much care for those unless they were romantic, and actual movies, but she had seen this before and she knew that it was romantic and loving and…

And she wanted this.

She didn't even say anything about him using his powers to help carry her.

Or open the door.

Or to turn on the light.

Or push his covers off to the side.

Or put her down so gently…so gently that it was like he was setting her down on a cloud….but not really because clouds were actually really wet and not as soft as they looked. It was the thought that counted.

She counted the seconds. He just sort of froze up for a moment, just a moment, before she felt panic slam into her from his aura. She tried to sit up but he stopped her.

"Just…wait. This…I know that we aren't going to…but this still isn't good enough….just wait." Said Teru before he practically ran out of the room. Mob heard the creak of his bathroom door opening. She heard his sink running for a moment before his medicine cabinet opened. Then the sound of vigorous brushing.

Oh.

Then he spat.

Then she heard him fumbling with something plastic.

Then a lot of swishing followed by spitting.

But he still wasn't done.

She didn't much feel like listening to Teru brush his teeth. She didn't know why he was, he tasted just fine. Like green eta soda. Mob liked green tea soda. Wait…did she need to? She had no idea what they were going to do, besides not have sex, and she had no idea what the procedure for this was. Should she brush her teeth, too?

Rinse?

Floss?

Fix her hair?

Take a bath?

Get undressed?

Fix her clothes?

She caught sight of herself in his full length mirror. Her makeup was smeared all over her face. Her hair was floating all over the place. Her dress was rising up and it was wrinkled. She had a rip in her stockings, too, which was extra annoying because those were new. Ripped stockings were not good. They looked sloppy…and sloppy was not pretty.

So she used her powers to get them off. She just sort of left them on the floor, not sure just what to do with them but also not wanting to have to wear ripped stockings. She just laid down, almost half naked, on his bed. She felt all the way naked. Her dress was still on but…but she still felt like she was naked. Like she was naked and waiting for him to…to do whatever he wanted to do to her…

But not sex.

But there were a lot of things that came before sex.

She heard him coming back and she quickly straightened out her dress. He walked in with purpose. He clicked on a little lamp on his table and then used his powers to click off the overhead light. He didn't stop, though, no he had other things to do. He opened up his laptop and clicked around for a while. Mob listened. She listened and she watched herself in the mirror.

So, this was what she looked like at the end of this year.

How would she look in the beginning of next year?

Would he still think that she was pretty, so damn pretty?

The room was filled with music. She knew this song. Fly Me to the Moon…the version that he had played when they had their first kiss. Louder, now, properly loud. Loud enough that Mob was afraid, briefly, that someone could hear them. How thin were the walls here? Thin enough that someone could hear? Thin enough that someone could hear her say 'green light'? Thin enough that she could heard someone else say 'green light?'

Did it even matter?

He stood up and took a shaky breath. She heard him talking to himself again. He said 'come on, Teruki' a few times. He always called himself Teruki, never Teru. Was that too familiar? How familiar was it when you were talking to yourself? Could you be too familiar? Did it depend on how well you knew yourself? Could you offend yourself by being too familiar with yourself?

She was familiar enough to call him Teru.

He took a few more shaky breaths before he came over to her. She scooted over and made room for him on his bed. They just sort of laid there. Only their sides were touching. This was…a lot. She wanted…there was a difference between wanting something and actually getting something. She wanted a lot of things but…but she didn't always get what she wanted. She wanted this, whatever this would be, but…but what if she got it?

She had no idea what to do.

And it was important that he know that.

"I don't know what to do and I'm sorry!" said Mob. That came out maybe a little bit too loudly. Maybe just a little bit too loudly. He sat up, quickly. She sat up too.

They sat like that.

The song changed.

Oh, no, it was on a loop.

"I-I don't know what to do either. I mean….I mean that I know what to do but…I've just never done most of it…and I don't want to fuck up…or fuck this up…" said Teru

"Me neither. I don't want to fu-to mess this up, either. I don't know what to do, either." Said Mob. He shook his head.

"Shigeko. Mob. No. You don't have to do anything." Said Teru. Mob was about to say something akin to she wanted him to feel good too but he leaned over and kissed her. He turned onto his side and she mirrored him. They were laying down again, and kissing, but this time he was less…enthusiastic. He kissed her deeply but he wasn't trying to drink her down like she was the only source of water he had seen in days. No. He was instead trying to drink her like she was a nice cup of cocoa, or coffee since he liked coffee, slow and steady and deliberate and-

His wardrobe threw up.

"Forget it." Said Teru and he went back to kissing her. He was moving again, now he was on top of her. Her legs were on either side of him again. She reached up. One hand rested on his back. The other played with the buttons on the top of his shirt.

"You don't…you don't have to do anything….anything but enjoy this." said Teru as he stopped kissing her.

"But I want you to feel good, too." Said Mob. Teru shook his head.

"I…I've been wanting to do something to you…with you! With you for a while…and I just…want to do that now." Said Teru. He looked like he was trying not to look away from her while he said that.

"Not sex?" asked Mob. She needed to make sure that he was not talking about that because that was her line. That was where she drew her line.

"Not…exactly. I just…I want to…to get you…off. Sorry, I know that sounds so vulgar….but it's what I want." Said Teru. Now Mob could not look at him. She looked at the ceiling behind him.

"….nobody's ever done that to me before….but I want…I want it to be you…so…green light." Said Mob still not looking at him. She heard him take in another deep, shuddery, breath.

"I just…I've been thinking about this for a while. You. You when you get so…worked up…I guess. I mean I've always liked that, girls finishing. Not that I've…that often…before…and never with someone I loved! Ok, that sounded bad, I just…you're special! You are special, so special, and you mean so much to me…and I just want you to…to feel good. This is about you, ok? This isn't about me getting you off so that-that-that I can pat myself on the back because I got a girl off or-or-or to get you to owe me one later. This is about….this is about you. This is all about you and making you…I just like it when girls finish, ok?!" said Teru. Mob nodded.

That made sense.

A lot of sense.

And she chose to ignore the part about other girls…girls in the past…because it felt like he was digging her heart out with a fork when he said that. That he was digging her heart out with a fork and he was going to eat it grilled with a nice cup of tea and a side of pickled vegetables. He had…she chose not to think about it. Instead she focused on what he said, before, about loving her. About being in love with her. About wanting to be with her. About loving her.

He loved her.

She loved him right back.

And that was alright then.

"…so can I please get you off?" asked Teru quietly. Mob nodded again.

"Yes. I'd like that. Green light." Said Mob because, well, once again what else could she say? She wanted…she wanted to feel good…and she wanted to make him feel good…and if making her feel good would make him feel good and she herself wanted to feel good then why not.

His had rested on her inner thigh.

She chose to ignore the fact that he had touched someone else with that hand.

His other hand found her stomach.

She chose to ignore that he had touched someone else with that hand.

His leg intertwined with hers.

She chose to ignore that he had probably been in this position with countless other girls.

"Shigeko….do you want this?" asked Teru

"I said green light, didn't I?" asked Mob, a tone in her voice that she did not want to have. Teru stopped what he was doing, not that he was doing much of anything at all.

"What's wrong." Said Teru

"Nothing." Said Mob

"Something's wrong. You're being all…like this. If you don't want to do this then that's totally fine. You don't even have to stay the night, I can call you a cab home and then-" said Teru. Mob shook her head. No. That was the last thing that wanted. What she wanted right then and there was to get rid of this feeling, this awful feeling. This emotion. Sticky and icky and gross. Jealousy. She needed to exorcise this emotion before it took root inside of her and ruined everything.

Because she could not be jealous.

It wasn't like she had never been in a relationship before. It wasn't like she had never kissed anyone before. It wasn't even like she didn't like anyone else. She still thought about so many other people…so was that the same? But she had never actually DONE any of the things that she thought about, well aside from the handholding in her thoughts about Tome, so was thinking about doing something just as bad as doing it?

Not that him being with girls before her was bad. He did have a life before her after all.

But it still felt bad. She could feel this feeling building up inside of her. She was like the time she had shaken up a can of soda with her powers just to see what would happen. She was like the time she had forgotten that pot of milk on the stove for a long time because she got distracted by the cat in the yard. She was like the times when…when she had so many big feelings inside of herself that she was going to…

Explode.

Unless she got those feelings out.

So rather than explode and level the neighborhood she got them out another way.

She talked about them.

"I'm jealous. Right now I feel like that and I don't know why. I'm jealous that you've been with other people and I don't know why I keep thinking about it right now or I can't stop thinking about that and I don't know why. I'm kind of mad at myself, too, for feeling like this." said Mob. Teru reached over and played with her bracelet some more.

"I…kind of get it…and I keep on slipping that I…but you're special. You're special and I…I love you. Ok? Just…everyone before you has been leading up to you…ok? And I kind of get it…I can be kind of…the same way…too." Said Teru

"You get jealous? Why? I've only ever been in one real relationship before and we never did anything like this." said Mob

"No, not about that just…the way you are, sometimes. Like with…well…Suzuki. Just…the way you look at him sometimes." Said Teru still playing with her bracelet.

"Sho? What about him?" asked Mob

"Like that. You call him Sho and he calls you Mob. You're always hanging out with him and he's always at your house. When we're all together you sometimes….just the way you look at him. The way you talk to him. The way you….the way you laugh at him all the time, even though he's not that funny. Like when he did that somersault in your living room and hit the wall. You just…you laughed and laughed and…" said Teru

"You're right. I shouldn't laugh when other people get hurt. That was wrong of me and I should apologize." Said Mob

"No, that's not the point. The point is…sometimes I think that you…like him…ok? And I know that's stupid, and I'm mad at myself for thinking like that, but that's just the way that I feel, sometimes…which makes zero sense because he's your brother's boyfriend and those two are going to get married some day or something…but I still kind of feel like you like him." said Teru. Mob needed to think for a moment. Did she still like Sho? He was still cute and he was still funny and he still had freckles and he still made her laugh…but he was not her boyfriend. He was Ritsu's boyfriend and Mob could not like her brother's boyfriend. That would have been mean and wrong. Ritsu deserved someone who made him happy, who cared about him, and who loved him. Mob would not even think about taking the love of his life away from him.

And also she had a boyfriend.

She didn't know if Teru was the love of her life, she hadn't had long enough to think about it, but she did know that she loved him. She loved him and he loved her. But if they were in love why did they still have bad feelings like jealousy. Wouldn't the bad feelings have all gone away, then, because they were in love? Or maybe you had to make the bad feelings go away. Maybe it wasn't an automatic thing. You had to make the bad feelings go away by…by exorcising them. By casting them out so you could only feel the good feelings.

"I don't like him like that, not anymore, and he didn't like me back either." Said Mob after a moment. Teru stopped playing with her bracelet.

"You…like…LIKED him?" asked Teru quietly. Mob nodded.

"Yes, I did, but I can't now. I don't know. I think about him sometimes but that's…I think about a lot of people. I'm sorry but I just do. They're just these random thoughts that come into my mind about people I know…but I would never do anything about them. I love you Teru. You and only you. So please….don't be mad." Said Mob

"….who else do you think about…?" asked Teru

"I would never do anything, and I don't have any plans of doing anything, and they're just stray thoughts. You know, like when you pass by a cat in somebody's window and you think about what would happen if you took that cat home and hid it in your closet but you would never, ever, do that because stealing is wrong and cat-napping is wrong, and also mom hates animals in the house and also-" said Mob

"I know. I know that you would never cheat on me, you're not that kind of girl, I guess that I just want to know who else…who else I'm competing with…I guess…and I know that it's not a fucking competition. I know that you're my girlfriend but it just feels like….like the moment that you realize how amazing you are you'll just up and leave me." Said Teru

"Teru, that's not true. I won't ever leave you…I mean I have to go home tomorrow but I won't break up with you…but I won't ever even think about breaking up with you. They're just stray thoughts and I can't control them. I think about you, though, a lot. I think about how…how nice you are to me…and how yellow your hair is…and how you always smell like winterberries….and how strong you are…and how much of a good person you are….I think about you a lot…" said Mob. Teru went back to playing with her bracelet.

"….maybe we both just suck…sorry! You don't suck, you could never suck. I just…I know what you mean, about stray thoughts, and I have them too…and I would never do anything about them either….so I can't be upset with you because that would make me a hypocrite and I am not a hypocrite. So can we just…can we start again please?" asked Teru. Mob blinked.

"What do you mean?" asked Mob

"Let's start this whole thing again. Hi, I'm Teruki Hanazawa. It's nice to meet you." Said Teru. He smiled, so Mob smiled, even though she thought that going all the way back to the beginning might have been a bit too much. Maybe to before they started walking down this dangerous conversation path. Maybe to when they first laid down together. Maybe to when they were taking about good things.

That would be nice.

"Hello….my name is Shigeko Kageyama, but everyone calls me Mob. Um…can we fast forward to the part that came just before we had that conversation? I like that part. I just think that if we have to start from when we first met it would be a lot to catch up on…and there isn't a lot of time right now…I mean there is but at some point we need to sleep…and also I have to beat mom and dad home or I'll get into trouble. Big trouble." Said Mob. Teru just laughed.

"God, you are so…you. I love that about you. I love you….and it feels so good to say it." Said Teru

"I love you too….and it does feel good. I want to say it a lot, if that's ok." Said Mob. She didn't want to be annoying. She knew that she could be kind of annoying sometimes. Mom and dad said that she either talked too much or not at all, and that nobody wanted to hear about the robots, even though they weren't robots at all….and she wasn't even talking about EVA, now….and Teru like it when she talked about EVA, anyway.

"You can say it every day a thousand times a day. In fact I want you to." Said Teru before he leaned down and kissed her. Not deep but still nice.

"But wouldn't that get annoying?" asked Mob when they broke apart for air. He kissed her again and again and again. He peppered her with kisses. They started to get deeper. She let him. She matched him. Her hand found his hair, again. It was soft, kind of, and nice. He reached over and played with a strand of her hair.

"You could never be annoying." He said, breathlessly, when they began to run out of air. They could die, without air, but it would have been a lovely way to go. Their spirits would pass on together, kissing each other for all of eternity. Wouldn't that be lovely?

It was.

They didn't kiss for an eternity, though that would have been very nice, but they did kiss a lot. Little kisses, big kisses, slow kisses, fast kisses. All the different kinds of kisses that they could have. All the different ways to say 'I love you' and 'I want this with you' and 'I trust you' and 'green light'. Well that was what Mob thought that they were saying, anyway. She thought that they were saying all of those things but she didn't know what Teru thought that they were saying. Maybe the same things. He was happy. His aura felt happy and he was smiling, in the brief times they'd break apart because breathing was a necessary part of existence, and he made a bunch of his happy noises, too.

She liked the happy noises.

He sounded like he was hurt but he wasn't, not at all. He told her as much. He told her that he shivered when she touched the back of his neck because it felt good. He said that he gasped when she kissed the side of his neck because it was amazing. He said that he groaned when she pushed herself against him because that was just the best damn feeling in the entire mother fucking world.

His words.

He cursed a lot. He cursed when she ran her hands over whatever skin she could find. The skin of his arms had gone to gooseflesh. The skin on the back of his neck was fuzzy and hot to the touch, like a peach left out in the sun for a couple of hours. The skin on his back, when he told her that it was ok to touch him there, was soft and fuzzy and warm and a little bumpy but still so, so, so nice….

He cursed when she touched him but the curses were good. She didn't cure when he touched her. She didn't curse when his hand found it's way up her dress and to the band of her underwear. No, she gasped. She gasped and she begged and she said his name over and over and over again like a prayer because, yes, she was praying. She was praying for this feeling to just go on and on and on and on. She could not take it. She wanted this. She needed this. She needed this like she needed food and air and water and also to clean up this room because it was a disaster area.

She'd clean it up later.

Because she was still messing it up.

There were clothes everywhere. Hanging from the light fixture, covering the floor, draped over the tipped on it's side wardrobe, and floating through the air. There were books in the air, too, and little trinkets that Teru said that his parents sent him from their travels. The room was a mess and Mob was sorry but Teru told her, a lot of times, not to be sorry. He told her not to be sorry about the mess or the noise or the little noises she made or the time she bit him, accidentally because he had been playing with the waistband of her underwear, then, and breathing so heavily and she had been kissing him, that spot on his neck, the spot that made him breathe like that and it had just been so much. Too much.

Too much.

But in a good way.

So still green light.

This was green light. This was the most green light. All the lights were green and he could go wherever he wanted and do whatever he wanted. Kind of like he was playing Crazy Taxi and she was the passenger and he was the driver, or maybe she was the driver and he was the passenger, or maybe they were playing against each other. Or maybe this was co-op. Was Crazy taxi co-op? She'd look into it later, it had been years since she played. That wasn't the kind of game that she wanted to play now, anyway. She was playing….was she still playing dress up? Well she was still dressed up. Dressed. All dressed, mostly, and she didn't much want to be. She wanted…she wished that they were playing the commercial break game. That was a fun game. She wished that they were playing commercial break right now because she was ready, now, too see him and be seen by him. She was ready.

She was ok with this.

She wanted this.

She unburied her face from his neck to ask him, as best as she could with him on top of her, if he wanted to…to finish that game. She wanted to finish that game. She wanted to finish all of their games. She needed to know if they could. She needed to know what he wanted. What he wanted mattered. He wanted her to…to finish…and she wanted to finish too…but if she did finish then it would be over and she never wanted this to be over…

This was so confusing, a little bit.

It got even more confusing when he didn't say anything. He was very quiet and he stopped moving, which meant that he was thinking. Mob didn't know what there was to think about, it was either a yes or a no. She waited. She let him think. Maybe he wanted to, maybe he didn't. Whatever he wanted was fine. Not that she knew why he wouldn't want to. He loved her, he said so, and he meant it. People did not just go around saying 'I love you' to one another…right? People also weren't supposed to go around doing these things with one another but here Mob was. Not that she was just going around doing this with someone. She was his girlfriend, this was ok. But if it was ok then why did he have to think for so long for?

"….sure…if you want to. I mean, I want to, too." Said Teru. He got off of her and just sort of sat at the end of the bed. Mob sat up, too. They sat there for a little while.

"Instead of commercial breaks we could do…song breaks." Said Teru after a moment. He had been playing with the bottom of his shirt and not looking at her. She had been looking at him, he said that he wanted to but then he didn't…and she did not want to go first. Unless of course he had been waiting for her to go first but she had been waiting for him to go first so, really, they would have grown old sitting on his bed waiting for the other person to make the first move.

So thank goodness he said that.

Mob agreed to the rules of this new game. Song break? Undress up? Excuse to be naked with your boyfriend? Whatever it was she liked it. Rules were good. Rules made sense. Rules made the entire thing just a little less daunting. Because it was, just a bit, daunting. She wanted this, she knew that she wanted this, but she had no idea how she was supposed to go about…to go about doing this?

Also the song ended.

It wasn't all just 'Fly me to the Moon', no, this was something else. Slow and heavy and romantic. She thought she recognized it from somewhere…probably a movie. Teru liked movies and he knew more of them than she did. Maybe they could watch a movie after this. Maybe they could lay down together and cuddle and watch a movie and not have to worry about anything for a little bit. Not getting caught. Not how they should proceed with this relationship. Not how jealous she was, none of it.

But she did have to worry about how she would proceed. She was really only wearing one thing, and it was her dress, so of course it had to go. But the rules of the game said that he had to remove an equivalent amount of clothing. So did that mean that she had to take off her dress but on a shirt and pants, and then take off either the shirt or his pants? Or did he have to take off his shirt and pants when she took off her dress. But then that would be two articles of clothing for the price of one, which would not have been fair. Then there were underclothes to think about, too. He wasn't wearing an undershirt and neither was she. Was a bra even equivalent to an undershirt? What was the boy equivalent to a bra? Was there even one? And also what-

"We don't have to if you don't want to." Said Teru

"I…I want to but…I'm only wearing this dress…and…I do want to…" said Mob

"I could help you with the zipper if you want." Said Teru. Mob blushed and nodded. Maybe she was just thinking too much. Maybe she should just shut off her brain for a little bit. Not totally, she still needed to be able to move and think and talk and breathe and stuff. Maybe she needed to stop overthinking things, she meant, not that she had any idea who she was arguing with. She needed to calm down because she could feel his hand on her back and now he was tugging down her zipper, that cold metal zipper, and now she could feel the air on her back and-

Oh. He was trying to tugging it up over her head.

She lifted her dress from the bottom and tried to pull it up over her head. Tried being the operative word because, well, it was not supposed to go up over her head. She managed to shimmer her shoulders out of it, it really was an uncomfortably tight dress, but her hair got caught in the zipper.

What followed was a struggle to untangle her hair.

In the end she just ended up using her powers.

He apologized like crazy but Mob couldn't hear him. She couldn't hear anything above the rush of blood in her ears. Her heart was beating so fast, fast enough maybe that she would have a heart attack. Could you have a heart attack from this? She almost wished that she would. She almost wished that she would because, eventually, the apologies died on his lips and he got very quiet. She had screwed her eyes shut. Maybe her brain thought that if she couldn't see anything then he couldn't see her. Maybe she shouldn't have turned her brain quite so 'off'.

She opened her eyes, a little, and saw him looking at her. Really looking at her. His eyes kept on going up and down, up and down, like he was trying to memorize her like she was a textbook and he had a big test coming up that he wasn't prepared for. Maybe he wasn't. She certainly didn't feel prepared for this. She wanted this, she was ok with this, but actually living this was something else entirely. Actually having him look at her, feeling his eyes on her, feeling his aura against her. She was not prepared. She was not prepared for all of the feelings that came bubbling up in the moment. The nervousness, the excitement, the doubt, the anticipation. All of it. She was not prepared for it.

That didn't mean that she couldn't go with it.

Because it was nice. She never thought, honestly thought, that someone would have wanted this with her. That she would ever have this with someone. That she would ever be ready, or even able to, do things like this. That someone would want to do things like this with her. That someone would love her. But he loved her.

He was looking at her like he loved her.

That was what Mob was going to call the way he was looking at her. The face he was making. The way his eyes settled on hers. Blue to brown. The way he looked like he had so much to say but couldn't decide how to say it? And he did have a lot to say. He started several sentences, some in Japanese and some not. Sentence after sentence after sentence while she sat there, on his bed, listening to him. She would have gladly listened to him all night. Even though she was kind of chilly. Even though she wasn't wearing anything, not really, just her underwear. Even though this stupid bra still itched and the straps still tried to go crawling down her arms. She would still listen to him.

She pushed her bra straps back up, though, because that really was uncomfortable.

That seemed to snap him out of it. Not that Mob had been trying to snap him out of anything. She had just been fixing her straps but he took that as his cue to tug his shirt off really fast. He tossed it into the pile of clothes on the floor, Mob was a little worried about mixing clean and dirty clothes, but she didn't even have the time so say anything because he took a dep breath, stood up, un did his pants, and kicked those across the room, too.

So this was happening now.

She had been to the beach before, she had seen boys this undressed before. But this was not the beach. This was his bedroom at his house in the early hours of the New Year…or the late hours of the last year…she didn't really care about the time. All she cared about what was happening right there next to her. Not that he was doing anything, and not that she was doing anything either. The two of them just sort of sat there next to each other in silence.

Thick silence.

Then the song changed.

That had happened too fast…or maybe it had just taken them too long to get to that point…but the song had changed. The song had changed and now Mob had to…to decide which she was going to take off. He had seen her in nothing but an undershirt and he had even touched her breasts but he had never seen them. Not that there was much to see….but there was something to see. Did she…she did want him to see….but it felt like they had only just now gotten here….and she didn't even get to see him, not really, because he had a pillow in his lap. Maybe the game of commercial breaks was better, commercial breaks came a lot later than song breaks. With commercial breaks they had time to get used to each other. He was not used to her. He was sitting very stiffly and looking at the wall.

"What's wrong?" asked Mob

"Nothing! I'm fine, totally fine….how are you?" said Teru quickly.

"I'm kind of cold, a little, but mostly I'm worried. You seem…uncomfortable…and I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Said Mob

"It's not that I'm uncomfortable I just…need a minute…" said Teru. Mob nodded. Then she waited a minute. She counted to sixty in her mind. That was sixty seconds, right? She didn't know, she didn't have a stop watch, all she knew was that he asked for sixty seconds and she did the best she could. She waited sixty seconds and in those sixty seconds she decided two things.

First of all bras were instruments of torture.

Second of all she wanted Teru to see her naked.

So after those sixty seconds she reached behind her with her powers, unhooked her bra, and tossed it away with more force than was necessary. She rolled her shoulders, a little, and reached behind her to rub her back. The back had dug into her skin and left an imprint. The hooks had left their imprints, too. All she cared about, in that moment, was the way it felt to be free of that awful thing. It was going to be nothing but undershirts from now on. Nice, warm, soft, cotton undershirts.

"….you were wearing bra." Said Teru. He shook his head after he said that, and told himself that he was dumb. He called himself Teruki, too, and when they were done with whatever this was Mob would ask him why he always called himself Teruki, and why he was so mean to himself, too.

"I was." Said Mob

"Sorry I just….I've never seen you in a bra before…I mean I didn't know that you even had a bra…not that I think about you that often…I mean I do but with your clothes on….not about what's under your clothes I mean…I mean I do sometimes, I'm not going to sit here and insult you but…I just always thought that you worse undershirts, ok? That's what…that's what I've been trying to get at." Said Teru

"I usually wear undershirts but today I just…wanted to look pretty….so I went shopping the other day in the after Christmas sales…and I got a bra and…and the matching underwear….because I wanted to look pretty." Said Mob. She crossed her legs and crossed her arms over her chest, which made no sense because she wanted him to look at her, and he had already looked at her a lot….and she didn't even have much to look at to begin with….

"You-you always look pretty. You always look so damn pretty….like right….right now you look so damn pretty...I'm sorry it's just…this is not how I saw myself reacting when this finally happened…not that I planned any specific way this had to be! I just…I didn't know that I would be this nervous." Said Teru

"I did. Well I didn't know how nervous you would be but I knew that I would be this nervous." Said Mob. She wondered if he had another lap pillow somewhere. She was nervous, so nervous. Because she was almost naked. Because he was almost naked. Because she wanted to be all the way naked….because he also wanted to be all the way naked…because if he looked down he could see how badly she wanted…

It always showed through, when she got like this, when she wore white underwear. Would it show through with pink ones, too? It certainly felt like it was. It felt like it was and she wished that she had a lap pillow too because, yes, he had touched it and he said that it wasn't gross but it was still kind of…embarrassing…almost.

Kind of.

Maybe.

If you want to stop we can-" said Teru

"No, I don't want to stop. I want to finish…I mean I want us to finish…and also you said that you wanted to make me…finish…and I would like that a lot." Said Mob. She practically whispered the last part. Softly, so softly, so softly that she was amazed that he even heard her.

"If you want me to….uh….then it would be better if you laid down." Said Teru just as softly. Mob didn't say anything, she just laid down. Oh, he did have another pillow. He handed it to her and she rested her head on it.

"I love you…so damn much…" said Teru. He said it in that deep way he spoke sometimes, the way that made her toes curl and her heart beat fast. Not that it could beat any faster without exploding, if hearts did that. She certainly felt like her hear would do that. Like her heart would explode. Like she could explode. But not in the bad way, the way that she had always been scared of. The way where she would become a passenger in her own body and she'd break, well, everything….and everyone….

But this was not like that.

She was not a passenger in her own body, now. She knew everything that was happening to her, right now, and she wanted…she wanted it to keep on happening. She exploded….not just when she felt big feelings…but also when she felt feelings that she was trying to run from, to get away from, that overwhelmed her because she could not get away from them…

But she was not overwhelmed.

And she did not want to get away from this.

He played with the lacey band of her underwear for a little bit before he took a deep breath and tugged them off. Mob gasped and closed her eyes, once again feeling almost like if she couldn't see him that meant that he couldn't see her…but he did see her. She couldn't see him seeing her but she could feel him seeing her. He was staring at…it. He was just staring at it. Well it made sense, he did have one, so of course he would stare a little.

But a little staring turned into a lot of staring.

What? Did he think it was going to do something? It wasn't. It just sort of…was. Wet and cold, mostly, and also…she wanted to close her legs and forget all of this. What if it was weird looking? Or gross looking? She had no idea if hers was nice. It wasn't like people just went around comparing their…parts…and even if they did Mob would not have partook of that…not at all. But he had seen…had he? She had no idea what he had actually done. Maybe he had seen one before and hers was weird looking or gross looking or just not right. She'd never gone to an onsen before, or done anything like this with another girl before, or even seen another girl all the way naked before. She never looked at…well not really. The stuff she read was usually in books or manga…and manga was always either censored or they cut away from this part…and why did they do that? If they hadn't then Mob would have had some idea as to whether or not this was good staring or bad staring. If she was normal or not. She had hair there, not a lot, but more than before…and more than even before that…and she heard that boys didn't like that…but she did not want to take a sharp object to that part of her body, anyway. But was she supposed to? She had no idea and he was still staring and-

And now he was touching her.

"You are so fucking wet…." He said. Then he said a bunch of stuff that wasn't in English. Mob didn't care. He was touching her. He was touching her and…and it was amazing.

Perfect.

The most perfect.

It wasn't orange light this time. This was green light. He was moving this time, too. Little movements. Little movements at the nubby thing which she still did not know the actual name of. She didn't need to know the actual name of it, just that it felt good when he touched it. One finger, one finger just sort of rolling up and down on it like it was the page scroll thing on the top of a computer mouse…

And it felt good.

Circles also felt good.

He did circles for a little bit and she struggled to keep her legs closed. Not because it was bad, it was the direct opposite of bad, actually, but because it was good. It was so good. It was too good. She wanted to trap him, there, like she was a Venus flytrap and he was a fly…but she wasn't going to eat him…she just wanted him to keep on doing this…

She opened her eyes. He was on his stomach, his feet were in the air behind him, and he had one hand…there…and the other just sort of hovering….then he put it down on her inner thigh…and it was…why was this so good?! That was just her thigh! This didn't make sense, none of this made sense. She wondered how she had gotten to ok with this. Tome tried to do this all the time…but Tome surprised her…and Teru did not. She was the one who had to convince him that this was ok…and it was ok…it was the most ok…

And it was New Year's.

What had she been doing last New Year? Watched end of year special with Ritsu and eating way too much junk food. The year before that? The same. She had no idea at this time last year that she would…that anything would happen to her. That any of these things would happen. The stuff with Claw…saving the world…love…any of the love stuff…THIS…she had no idea that any of this would happen…but it was happening….it was happening right now…

And it was good.

So good.

Even pinching was good…which Mob had never even tried. She just sort of rubbed it in circles until she finished. That's what got the job done. There was something to be said about…this. About what he was doing. About not knowing what he was going to be doing. The element of surprise…it could be good. It could be so good…the best…

Then he did something even more surprising.

He was inside of her.

Well just a finger…no both of his were still up top…a thumb then….but it was still surprising. She had never even tried to….but this was….honestly it was better what he was doing before…maybe if she relaxed…because she had tensed up. She let herself relax…and it still wasn't that good. He was moving in and out of her now…and it didn't hurt like she had always been scared it would…but it wasn't that great…

She nudged his hand with her powers.

He stopped totally.

"I'm sorry I-" said Teru. Mob shook her head.

"No, it's not that. I just…like that you were doing before. It feels better…there." Said Mob. She didn't want to reach down, she didn't want to move from that position, so she used her powers to nudge his hand back to the nubby thing.

"Oh…yeah…I can do that…" said Teru. She hoped that she hadn't made him feel bad or anything like that. She just liked that better and he said a bunch of times that he wanted her to finish…and this was how she always finished. She knew her own body. She hoped that she hadn't been mean…or had…did that count as using her powers against other people?

Now does not seem like the time to ask Master Reigen.

Now is not the time to even be thinking about Master Reigen…even though she thought about him a lot when she did this. The way he just…was….not even her usual scenarios where they were all alone in the office for some paper thin reason like it was raining outside…and she asked him for a backrub…and then he reached down and over…

No. Don't think about that.

Think about Teru.

But she didn't need to think about Teru. He was right there….he was right there and now…oh yes!

He kissed her inner thigh. Lightly and then…then he bit a little and that was just the most amazing…which made no sense because it also hurt…but it did feel amazing…and she wanted…she wanted him to…

"Mob…um….Shigeko?" asked Teru. He was talking quietly again, like he didn't want her to hear him, but that made no sense because he had used her name. Twice, even.

"Yes?" asked Mob. She wanted him to get back to what he was doing. She was…she knew that she was getting closer. She could even feel a wet spot forming under her…she hoped that he had clean bedsheets…because this felt like a pretty big wet spot…

"Can I…I mean would you be ok with…and feel free to say no! I just…can-I-eat-you-?" he said the last part fact, really fast, but she had heard him. She needed to think about that for a little bit. On the one hand…she was at that getting carried away point…and she did…she wanted to know just how good he could make her feel….but on the other hand that was her…and he wanted to….well she knew that it was a thing that people did together….she was fourteen, not four, but she never even thought about someone doing that to her…

But she heard that it was really nice.

But it would also be so embarrassing.

But would it be more embarrassing than him touching and staring at it?

But what if he wanted her to return the favor? She didn't know how to-

But she could always figure it out.

But what if she didn't want to…when it came time to do the same….?

Then she'd say no and he would listen.

But what if she didn't like this?

Then he'd stop.

Because he loved her.

"I mean….not literally eat you…I meant that I wanted to…" said Teru. She could feel him breathing against her…and it was nice…and she wanted him to…and if he wanted to…

"Teru, I know what that means. I'm not little…and you can…if you want to….I don't know if I like that and I don't know how to do that to you…and I'm not sure if I want to…I mean I want you to feel good…and I want you to do this to me so I should make it even-" said Mob

"No, you don't have to do anything. This is about you. Just…this is for you." Said Teru. Then he kissed that spot in her inner thigh, and it was a particular spot, one that felt better than the rest, and she made a noise that was honestly a little bit embarrassing…but…oh!

Then he moved inwards.

Then he kissed her right on top of that…that place and…and…and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and- and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and- and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and- and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and- and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-

All the lights went on.

Not just in the room, not just in the apartment, not even just in the building. No. All the lights went on.

In the city.

The parts the she could see from his window, anyway. All the lights went on in the building across from him and the one across from that one and the one across from that one and the one across from that one…and the lights of the cars parked below them on the street…and the streetlights…they got very bright. It was, for a moment, almost…

She turned night into day.

He turned night into day.

And it was amazing.

Oh. She had closed her legs. She had trapped him in between her legs…she never wanted him to go….and he was still going at it…but it wasn't good, now….it wasn't good now because she had just finished…and it was never good afterwards….

But it had been so good, during.

"Teru….thank you." Said Mob because she had to. Every part of her was telling her to thank him, to make him know how grateful that she was…that she was so grateful that he made her feel like that...and that he loved her enough to make her feel like that….

He laid down next to her. She could smell herself on him…and it was a little embarrassing…but he didn't seem to mind. He must have been past the point of anything being embarrassing…and so should she be…

"Don't…don't thank me. I aim to please…heh…just yeah…yeah. But you're welcome. I-I've never done that before…." Said Teru

"You were very good." Said Mob. She snuggled up close to him. She didn't care that she was naked. She was beyond being…beyond being embarrassed about that. He had touched, stared at, and kissed her…so yeah…yeah. She didn't much care that she was naked. She felt something soft against her skin. Silk? But his sheets were cotton…oh. He wasn't all the way naked…

And that wasn't fair….

That wasn't fair at all….

Not that she was upset. She just…she just wanted to…

She was getting carried away.

But it didn't feel totally fair, him being not naked and her being all the way naked. He pulled the blanket over them. Now it was like neither of them were naked…but she still wanted them to be even…and they could…they could be….

She reached over and felt the band of his underwear. Yes. That was silk. That was silk, soft silk….purple silk…if she was remembering right…not that she had gotten that good of a look. He always kept a pillow on his lap when they did stuff like this? Why? Was he embarrassed? If he was embarrassed….he didn't have to be.

He put his hand over hers.

"Shigeko….you don't have to do anything." Said Teru

"I know that I don't have to do anything, but I want to. I want to…to make you feel good…and to make us even…because we aren't even…but I don't want to push you….or make you feel embarrassed." Said Mob

"It's not that I'm embarrassed….or that I don't want you to….I just don't want to scare you away…" said Teru

"You won't scare me away. I mean, I've never done anything before but I know I won't be scared away. I know the difference between boys and girls. Just because I've never done….anything to a boy doesn't mean that I don't know the differences between boys and girls….so I won't be scared." Said Mob

"I just…if you really want to you can…but you don't have to do anything." Said Teru. Then he let go of Mob's hand. Ok, her move now. She could…she wanted to….she did. She pushed one finger past his waistband. Just a little past. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. She watched his face. His aura.

He seemed….nervous?

She inched that finger down lower. Oh. He had hair there, too. Kind of curly, a little bit, and kind of coarse…she twisted it around her finger a little. He laughed, a little, a breathy sort of laugh. Mob decided to take this as a good sign and keep going. Another finger. Then another.

Then her whole hand.

She just sort of hung out in the thicket of hair he had there. She wondered if it was as yellow as the rest of his hair. She couldn't tell. There was a blanket over them. She kept the blanket there. Without the blanket it might have been too much. This was already walking the line of being too much. The tightrope of being too much. She wanted…but now that she had finished what she wanted…the scope of it…got smaller. Much smaller.

She wanted him to feel good.

That was the scope her want…the scope of it. Making him feel as good as she did. As she had. As good as he had made her feel…and he had made her feel so good…

She moved her hand lower.

He gasped.

The light was dim, very dim. She could still see his face. She wasn't the best at reading faces but she…she knew what happiness looked like…and he was so happy. She was making him happy. Her hand was just resting over it….his it. She had never touched a boy's…it….before but…but this was…it wasn't bad…it didn't feel like…she had no idea what she has thought that it would feel like but…but this did not feel like anything….bad….or that….amazing….but it was warm.

And soft.

And hard.

Well she knew that it would be. They went over that in health class. Boys got hard and then girls got wet and then they had sex…but she was not ready to have sex…but she did want to make him feel good…not that she had any idea how to go about doing that…

He knew, though, he knew himself.

"Teru….show me?" asked Mob softly. He opened his eyes.

"You…what?" asked Teru. Mob closed her hand around him. She had no idea….so she asked. She asked again and he asked her what she meant and she had nothing, nothing at all, to tell him besides she needed help…like she had shown him what she liked…and he kept on asking her if she was alright with this and if she knew what she was asking and towards the end she was ready to tell him once and for all that she was not dumb and she knew what she wanted and if he didn't want this then he should just come out and say it.

But she didn't have to tell him any of that, thank goodness, because he reached down and put his hand over hers. He closed his hand around hers, and her hand was closed around his…and then he moved her hand up and down….well for a little bit. He asked her to lick her hand, after a little bit, and she did without being embarrassed. He had licked her until she finished, she could lick her hand to get him to finish.

And he did finish.

Which made sense because boys didn't get wet.

Also he finished it was…something. It was a lot. It was warm and sticky. She didn't have much time to…well…investigate….because he was full of apologies. He wouldn't even let her see what, exactly, it was. Well she knew what it was, she knew where babies came from, but she didn't know….how it was. How it was different from hers. It was warmer and stickier…but that was all she knew. Immediately after he finished he called over a tissue box from somewhere in the mess that was his room and wiped her hand off. He didn't even enjoy the boneless feeling that came afterwards…if boys even got that boneless feeling.

Now did not seem to be the time to ask.

No, now seemed to be the time to cuddle.

That was what they did. They cuddled. He held her, she held him right back. He told her things, most of them in Japanese so she understood him. He told her that she was amazing, the most amazing, and that he loved her. That she was all the he had ever wanted for himself. That nobody had ever made him feel as good as she made him. That he didn't want anyone but her, that he didn't give a damn about anyone but her. He called her Shigeko. He called her Mob. He called her the love of his life. He called her his reason and his life. And he said that he wanted to spend his life with her. He held her close and whispered that into her hair, he buried his face in her hair, and his hands too. He buried his face in her hair and told her, again and again, that she was his everything. That he loved her more than anything else. That he wanted to spend every single moment of every single day with her.

That she was the person that he wanted to spend eternity with.

And that was how they greeted the New Year.


	5. Sardines

After New Year's Eve things didn't really change.

Well not really. The year changed, obviously, so that happened. More snow fell, too, but Mob got rid of it really fast with her powers. That had been a fun day. She and Ritsu made snow castles and a snow Tokyo-3 and a snow GeoFront and drank hot cocoa in their snow GeoFront where they were going to wait out snow third impact because, obviously, if Ritsu was going to reject snow instrumentality then Mob would too.

Sho didn't reject snow instrumentality and rolled around in the snow until he was one with it.

Mob helped bury him in the snow like they were at the beach and the snow was sand and nobody ran the risk of freezing to death. It was so funny when Sho jumped out and covered them all in snow. Ritsu thought so too and he laughed when Mob laughed but then he looked at her for a long time, kind of like his Ritsu look, and she stopped laughing. She didn't know what he would be mad at her about, when someone was trying to be funny you were supposed to laugh, that was polite.

And Sho was genuinely funny.

Ritsu thought so too, it was obvious, but he gave her his Ritsu look and after that Mob felt like going inside. That was a good thing, too, because Ritsu and Sho probably wanted to be alone. Mob figured that they would because they were a couple and that was what she wanted with Teru and they were a couple. Also when mom sent her outside to get them before they froze to death Mob caught them kissing in the snow GeoFront.

Which was not what the snow GeoFront was for.

And also Ritsu was too little to kiss anyone.

Which Mob knew was not something fair for her to think. Ritsu loved Sho and Sho loved Ritsu so of course they would kiss. She loved Teru and Teru loved her and they kissed…and other stuff. The other stuff was what bothered her about the idea of Ritsu and Sho kissing. She clearly heard them playing the game of traffic lights in Ritsu's room on New Year's Eve and she…she thought that Ritsu was way too little but she also knew that she was his sister, not his mother, and she ultimately had no say in what he did and did not do with his boyfriend.

Even though he was way too young.

And the New Year didn't make him any older.

Well it would when his birthday came along but right now he was still thirteen and thirteen was too young, in Mob's opinion, but she was not going to be sharing her opinion any time soon. That wasn't going to change with the New Year either. Mom was still sharing her opinions though, so that was the same as last year. Mom had a lot of opinions, too, which was the same as last year. A lot of those opinions were about Mob which, again, was the same as last year.

She had a lot of opinions about Mob.

Mob had gotten home before her parents on New Year 's Day, which was very good. Mom and dad had been very clear that nobody was allowed to go out or come over while they were away. Sho didn't count because he had nobody to spend the New Year with, mom had said. Mob didn't mention that Sho could have spent it with his own mother, or with Master Reigen and Serizawa. Actually, no, not with Master Reigen and Serizawa because they went out drinking and that was an adults only thing so Sho wouldn't have been allowed to go with…so maybe Sho didn't have anywhere to go on New Year's. So that made sense, he didn't count as a guest, so nobody broke any rules.

Well Mob did. She broke a very big rule and she didn't get caught. Mom and dad didn't suspect a thing. Well dad was avoiding her but mom didn't suspect a thing, which was very good. She didn't suspect that Mob had gone out on New Year's Eve and done…stuff. A lot of stuff. A very good amount of stuff. Stuff that she never thought that she would ever get a chance to do…or want to do…but she did want to do that kind of stuff…and she did that kind of stuff…

And nobody could know.

Not just because if mom found out she'd ground Mob until it was time to go off to university. Mob just…this was private and she thought that it was private. What happened between her and Teru was going into the vault where she kept her deepest, darkest, secrets. Not that it was bad, just private, and certainly not the sort of thing that she wanted to talk to with anyone. Even her own mother.

Especially her own mother.

Mom wasn't suspicious that Mob went out on New Year's but she got kind of suspicious later when she found the underwear that Mob had bought for the occasion. Well actually dad found them when he did a load of laundry…and that was actually worse than mom finding them. A million times worse because he was dad and dads were boys. He didn't say anything to Mob though, he just put them in mom's drawer because he thought that they were hers. Mob wished that she had known that. She hadn't liked wearing them, actually they were more like torture devices than under clothes, but she had been worried when she saw the bathroom hamper emptied and her stuff nowhere to be found. The thing that she was afraid of was mom finding them and figuring out why Mob had nice underwear. Mom found them, yes, but she didn't immediately start asking Mob what she had been up. No, she just got kind of….scary. Not towards Mob, thank goodness. But still….

Kitchen knives were not meant for stabbing bras into the kitchen table.

Mom got kind of scary, did that, and also yelled at dad a lot. Dad said that he thought that they were hers, that he had never seen them before in his life, and that he loved mom and would never, ever, ever cheat on her. Mob thought that it was obvious that dad wasn't going to cheat on mom, they were married and they loved each other. That was why Mob saved dad and said that they were hers, to stop mom from being all sad and worried. Mob knew that if Teru ever cheated on her she'd feel terrible. Not that Teru would ever do that, he loved her, that was why they had done all of that…stuff…together. Because they loved each other.

Not that she told mom that.

Not that she told mom anything.

She just said that they were hers. Dad was thanked Mob a lot for saving him but then he got kind of a weird look and said that this was between her and mom. Then he took the car keys and told Ritsu that they were going out for ice cream, Sho too if he was around, but he wasn't because he had his own house to go to sometimes. He left Mob alone with mom…who said that she had some things that she wanted to discuss….

And nothing good ever came from your mother wanting to discuss things with you. Last time mom wanted to discuss something with Mob a lot of innocent produce had to suffer. This time mom just made her sit down at the table they just talked. Well mom talked and Mob listened. Mom talked about how when she had been Mob's age she met a boy that she really loved…who wasn't dad….and then stuff happened that mom thought that she was ready for…

And then the conversation went on and on and on and on.

Thank goodness that mom didn't ask Mob any specific questions. Well she asked Mob if she'd had sex yet, which Mob said 'no' to because that was the truth. She had done…a lot…but not that. She didn't even know if she wanted to do that. She didn't even know if she was ready to do that. Not that she told mom any of that, she just said 'no'. Then mom got really quiet and said that Mob should come to her if she had any questions or if she ever wanted to talk about things.

Mom also told her not to have sex. That was before she said that Mob could come to her with any questions about things, so Mob felt like that was kind of a mixed messages sort of situation.

Also a few days later Mom took her to the underwear store and got her a bra that fit. The lady had to measure her, which was embarrassing, and Mob didn't want to go through the itching and pain of wearing a bra again, but mom said that it was about time that she started wearing one. At least this on didn't itch or hurt, which was good…

It was plain white, though.

And she still had to wear an undershirt with it.

But at least it wasn't itchy. It wasn't pretty, though, which wasn't that great…but Teru said that she was pretty no matter what she wore…and he meant it too…but she still wanted to look pretty for him. Even though he had seen her naked she still worried about how she looked, which made no sense. It would have made more sense, actually, if she stopped caring about how she looked after he had seen her naked and…touched her…and…all of that other stuff…but she just cared more….

Which was something that had changed since last year.

She cared even more about what he thought of her. Maybe it was the fact that they had done all of that stuff…or maybe it was the fact that he said that he loved her. That was a big thing, saying 'I love you'…and he said it. Nobody had ever said that to her before…romantically. There were different kinds of love and what Teru felt for her was romantic love…and that was also what she felt for him. Love.

They loved each other.

Nothing changed after they said that, though, besides them doing stuff…not that they had a chance to do stuff since then. Mom always made them stay downstairs when Teru came over or she made Ritsu go with them when they went out on dates or to Teru's apartment.

Ritsu brought Sho, though, so it was like a double date.

Mob sort of liked having Ritsu and Sho around. If Ritsu was around then she could make sure that he and Sho weren't doing…stuff. Not that it was any of her business and not that she had the right to tell them not to do stuff together. She didn't tell him that he wasn't allowed to, because he was much too young, but she did find comfort in the fact that if they were with her and Teru then they couldn't…not that she didn't want Ritsu to be happy….but he was too young. Way too little, he was only thirteen.

Which was not that much younger than fourteen, Mob may not have good math grades but she knew basic sums.

Maybe this just bothered her because she was his big sister. That was why it bothered him when she and Teru were together, she figured. Well that and because he thought that she couldn't run her own life and that Teru was using her and that he would end up hurting her. That was crazy, though, because Teru loved her. He did, he really did, and Ritsu must have tagged along on enough of their dates to have figured that out by now.

Especially because Teru kept on saying it.

"I love you, Mob." Said Teru as he kissed the top of her head. They were at his apartment now. Mom said that she could go to Teru's house if Ritsu came and Ritsu brought Sho with him because they loved each other. Mob wasn't sure if this counted as a double date, they were just sitting in Teru's living room and watching TV. Mob was laying down and resting her head on his chest. It was so comfortable, and she could feel his heartbeat too.

"I love you too, Teru" Said Mob as she rested more comfortably on him.

"Please….sister….Hanazawa…stop it. I'm sitting right here…." Said Ritsu. He sounded and looked kind of upset. Why? Love was a good thing.

"What's with you? It's not like they're doing anything." Said Sho. He was resting on Ritsu. He laid down on Ritsu after Mob laid down on Teru. She could feel Sho looking at them, her, them occasionally. It was…nice. She played with her bracelet a little…he was looking at her again…

"It's my apartment and she's my girlfriend and if I want to tell my girlfriend that I love her than I will." Said Teru. He sounded kind of upset there, too. Mob wished that everyone would just get along already. She understood that there was an ick factor there, because she was Ritsu's sister, and also that Ritsu was worried because Teru hadn't been the nicest guy back when they first met, but he changed and he loved her and she loved him. So there was no need for Ritsu to look like that.

Kind of greenish…

"Ritsu, don't be upset. I'm not. You and Sho love each other and I'm not upset at all. I don't understand. Don't you want me to be happy like you and Sho are?" Said Mob. Maybe that was the wrong thing. Ritsu got kind of rigid, then, and Sho looked up at him with an expression that Mob could not read.

"Yeah, don't you want everyone to be as happy as we are?" asked Sho. Ritsu closed his eyes.

"I want you to be happy…but you're my sister…." Said Ritsu. That made no sense, though, because if he wanted anyone in the world to be happy then it should have been his own sister. If Mob had to pick only one person in the entire world that was allowed to be happy she'd pick Ritsu in a heartbeat…or maybe she was supposed to pick Teru because she loved Teru…but Ritsu was her brother….but Teru said that she was the love of his life and his reason and his life….

This was complicated.

She loved them both but in totally different ways. One did not have brotherly feelings towards their boyfriend and one certainly did not have romantic feeling towards their brother. This was not anime, that would have been wrong, and also illegal…and very wrong. The most wrong. More wrong than fat free milk and shipping Shinji and Asuka. Asuka was too mean. Rei was clearly the superior choice. You had to be nice to the person you loved, that was important.

So maybe she would choose Teru to be the only person in the entire world allowed to be happy.

"He means that it's gross for him, seeing you with Hanazawa. Seeing him with you makes Ritsu think about you guys banging and he doesn't want to think about his own sister banging anybody, because that's wrong, well outside of weird anime anyway. It's like me and my mom. Like, she's seeing this guy from her job and I don't like him because, ok, he loves my mom and he makes her happy but he's also trying to bang her. Like I want my mom to be happy and all but I just can't shake the feeling that this guy is just trying to bang her, which is dumb because she's not dumb and also she can bang whoever she wants to….but it's still weird knowing that my mom would want to bang someone. Like I know that my mom and my dad banged but, like, I don't want to think about that either. Not just my mom, I don't want to think about my dad banging anyone either…not that I know if he's been banging anyone…I mean people said stuff about him and Serizawa-" said Sho before Teru and Ritsu told him to shut up.

Mob just asked him nicely, to please stop talking about that.

Because she did not need to think about anybody doing that. Not Sho's parents, not her parents, not Ritsu and Sho…so gross…not even strangers on the street. Nope. No way. She did not want to think about that and…oh…this was why Ritsu was so grossed out. Well then maybe he should stop thinking about it if it was so gross for him….or maybe that was easier said than done because now she was thinking about it, not her and Teru but, weirdly enough, about….pretty much everyone she knew.

Also it was true about Sho's dad and Serizawa.

She did not want to think about that. When she lost her physical form, and Sho's dad did too, it had been like instrumentality. She knew….well she learned a lot about him…and got a lot of his memories…and sometimes they did surface…like now. Now some were surfacing and….ick. Just ick. Just so much ick, the most kind of ick, the ickiest ick that there ever was.

How was she supposed to go to work now?

"Alright! I'm sorry, I forgot how girls…were. Ok? She's pretty much the only girl I know that isn't my mom and I just forgot how sensitive girls were. Forgive me?" Said Sho. It took Mob a moment to realize that he was talking to her.

"I'm fine, Sho, but please don't talk about your parents…or anyone…." Said Mob

"Seconded." Said Ritsu, his hoodie pulled up over his face.

"My house my rules. Suzuki, don't ever say the word 'bang' again." said Teru shaking his head.

Mob closed her eyes and tried to separate out her memories from Sho's dad. That was the part of instrumentality that she really didn't like. Actually she liked no part of it. Losing your physical form hurt, merging your life experiences with someone else's made your brain hurt, and putting yourself back together after you literally became energy was…hard. Painful. Not something that she wanted to remember having gone through.

Arms wrapped around her.

A kiss to the top of her head.

A gold aura around her.

"Are you alright?" whispered Teru into the crown of her head. She nodded.

"I'm fine just…remembering." Said Mob softly. There was a flash of navy blue and then something hit the floor with a thud.

"I said that I was sorry!" said Sho. Mob closed her eyes even tighter and then shook her head. No fighting. No more fighting. She didn't want anyone to ever fight again. She had enough fighting in her life to last her forever.

"Don't fight." Said Mob. Whatever nickering was happening around her stopped. She felt a hand on her forehead. It traveled up and went into her hair. Fingers ran through her hair steadily. She relaxed, slowly, like she was a cat that was being petted. Like she was a newborn kitten that you needed to pet first before you bottle fed it because the mother cat was somewhere else but the kittens would starve so you went to the pet store and bought special formula and kitten bottles for them.

"Shh…..it's ok. You're ok." Muttered Teru. She told him about it. How sometimes she just sort of remembered things. How sometimes she had trouble not remembering things…and how sometimes she remembered things that hadn't even been things that happened to her.

"I really am sorry." Said Sho

"I know you are and I forgive you. I'm fine, really. Sometimes I just remember things, that's all. That's all, really. I'm fine." Said Mob. She had her eyes opened now. This was her body. She still had a body. This was her life. Her life was her own. Sho still said sorry a few times. Then he asked her if she needed anything. Then Ritsu asked her if she needed anything. Then Teru asked her if she needed anything. She didn't need anything. She didn't need anything at all.

Really, she was fine.

She had trouble, sometimes, but she was fine. She had accepted but then rejected instrumentality and she was fine now. Remarkably fine, as Master Reigen had said. He hadn't been fine, afterwards. The first time she saw him after the whole thing he had looked tired and been all stubbly and he had just hugged her and told her over and over again that he was so glad that he was alright. The he kissed the top of her head.

And it was really nice.

Lots of things were really nice.

Like this. This was really nice. Teru kissed the top of her head, too, sometimes. Like now. She didn't need quite so much comfort but it was still nice. Nice to held, nice to be loved, nice to have someone who loved her. Really the whole thing was nice. She didn't know why everyone thought that she was so upset, though. She had been briefly a little upset but really she was fine. She even forgave Sho a bunch more times, mainly because he said sorry a bunch more times. He really felt bad and Mob wished that he didn't.

She was fine, really.

At least Ritsu stopped being all…Ritsu. No, that was mean. At least he stopped giving Teru his Ritsu looks and stuff like that. He was still looking at them, though, but not like he either wanted to be sick or he wanted to be mean to someone. So really, that was an improvement. This was actually shaping up to be a nice day, aside from the hodgepodge of memories that were dredged up. Not all of them were gross, some of them were weird, like how she now knew just how Sho's dad liked his omelets…that was a weird thing to know about someone who tried to kill you. She also knew that he always put his left shoe on before his right…and that his favorite color was blue even though his aura was red.

She wondered if he knew weird stuff about her like that.

Not that Mob was going to ask him any time soon. She had said, before, that she would be his friend and stuff but then he tried to kill Master Reigen and all of her friends and her…and also the whole taking over the world thing….so really she did not want to visit him at all. Still, it would be nice to know just how much he knew about her…

She hoped that she never, ever, ever had to give up her physical form again.

Because really she knew too much about him. She knew too much about him and he probably knew too much about her. More than anyone else about her, anyway, even Teru…and he knew a lot about her. Not just stuff like when they were alone but…but also just things about her. How she liked her toast….how she sometimes drooled in her sleep…how she didn't really care for too many covers while she slept….nobody knew those things about her. Well she hoped that nobody did…because that was hers and hers alone…

Well his too.

Theirs alone.

Not that she would ever be alone with him again.

She loved Ritsu, she really did. He was the best little brother in the world and she could not have asked for anyone or anything else. He was her friend, her brother, and the person she had known longest in her life that wasn't her parents…but she also kind of wanted to be alone…well not alone-alone but alone…but it would have been mean to kick him out, and Sho too. Besides, he was only doing what mom said to do. Mom always told him to hang out with her and Teru and Ritsu usually listened, at least until Sho dragged him away.

But it didn't seem like Sho was going to drag her away anytime soon. He still felt bad, it seemed like. He kept on saying sorry a bunch of times, gave her all of his pocket candy, showed her a bunch of pictures of his hamster, and even did a cartwheel into the wall. Well hitting the wall was an accident, he said, but it had still been kind of funny…but maybe Mob had been wrong to laugh.

"Suzuki, if you want to do that then go outside." Said Teru. They were still in his living room and they were watching TV and had been for a while. Mob knew that Sho was just getting stir crazy, he said that being inside for too long made him itch, but she also thought, well it was a stray thought, that maybe he was trying to cheer her up. Not that she needed cheering up. She was fine but everyone seemed to be wanting to cheer her up so badly….

"That's a great idea. Come on, let's go build something in the snow or-" said Sho. He tried getting up but Ritsu grabbed his hand. A silent conversation happened, it looked like, anyway. People's eyes and faces could say things, though Mob was bad at reading them. It was like how she sort of spoke English but not really. She knew enough to pass her exams at school and Master Reigen really helped but still she could not handle more than the most basic of conversations. The conversation that passed between her brother and the love of his life was anything but basic.

Their auras kind of told the story.

Sort of.

It ended with Sho laying down with his head in Ritsu's lap. Ritsu played with his hair a little bit, kind of like he was a cat. Or maybe a hamster. Mob wondered if hamsters liked to be petted. She had never seen Sunflower in life, just in pictures, but she looked very soft. She had never touched a hamster before, actually, but now she kind of wanted to. Maybe they were soft like cats. Or maybe soft like people. Did everything with hair want to be petted? She liked being petted and she had hair. Did human beings just instinctively pet things with hair? Like they were cats? She didn't know.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Teru quietly. Mob didn't think that he had to be so very quiet. They had all seen this episode of EVA before. This was Human Work, one of the best if someone were to ask Mob, which Teru had a while ago. He got a whole set of EVA collectable DVDs to watch at his house, which was very nice of him, and that was something that they did together a lot.

Because this was the greatest show ever made.

"Petting people." Said Mob. Teru blinked.

"Petting….people?" asked Teru

"You know, like cats. You're petting me, Ritsu's petting Sho. Just…why people pet things." Said Mob. Ritsu stopped running his fingers through Sho's hair when she said that, which maybe meant that she should have said something else. She was good at that, saying the wrong thing.

"I guess…because your hair is soft? I don't know….but I can stop if you want me to." Said Teru

"I don't want you to. I was just thinking about that, that's all. Sometimes I think about things." Said Mob. There was some silence broken only by the end credits song. Teru picked up the remote with his powers and went back to the beginning of the episode. He knew that this was one of Mob's favorites. He maybe should have put on one of Ritsu's favorites, too, because he didn't much care for this episode. He said that nothing happened. That wasn't true. A lot happened. Every episode of EVA had a lot happening in it, there was no filler. That was another reason why it was the greatest show ever conceived by mankind and what the aliens would discover when they researched the planet long after humanity went extinct.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if they made hamster tunnels big enough for people? And they replaced sidewalks?" asked Sho after a while.

"No, but it does sound fun, I guess." Said Ritsu going back to playing with Sho's hair. He said it sort of like he wasn't really listening, in Mob's opinion. She didn't know why, he asked a really interesting question.

"It does. I would be like instead of walking you could just crawl everywhere, like the playroom at MobRonald's but without the height limit." Said Mob. She missed the playroom, it had been fun, but she was too big to play in it. Much too big…and it was so unfair.

"And slide, too! You would always slide down. Sunflower does that sometimes….but I don't think that she likes." Said Sho. Mob smiled. She'd seen the video he took of his hamster losing it's footing and sliding down the tunnel.

"Probably because people aren't hamsters." Said Mob. She felt Teru stop running his fingers through her hair. He just sort of stopped midway through. She turned and looked at him. He was looking at Sho…and he kind of had a Ritsu look to him.

"But if people were hamsters then life would be so much better. All you have to do is sleep or play or eat all day." Said Sho. Mob laughed, she couldn't help it.

"But that's what you do all day anyway, Sho. You don't go to school or anything." Said Mob. Sho stuck out his tongue.

"Hey, online school is all the learning of school but none of the bullshit." Said Sho. Ritsu pulled his hair a little.

"Sorry. Right. Girls don't like to hear that kind of stuff. Sorry Mob….God I just keep fucking up today." Said Sho. The Ritsu pulled his hair a little harder.

"It's ok, I don't mind. I don't curse but I don't mind." Said Mob

"Yeah, I believe that. I can't imagine you cursing. It just doesn't seem natural. I don't know, I guess girls curse sometime but you're too cute, I think." Said Sho. Mob laughed. She didn't mean to laugh, she just did. Just….well she didn't know or want to know what this was that she was feeling….she knew what she was feeling but she just didn't want to name it. Because that would have been wrong. Very wrong. The most wrong.

The atmosphere got weird there, very weird. Heavy. The only thing that she could hear was TV.

"I meant cute like a cat or a doll or something. Seriously?!" said Sho. He sat up so fast he bumped heads with Ritsu.

"I never said anything." Said Teru. Mob sat up too, but she didn't bump heads with Teru.

"You're both paranoid. Seriously! You're both, like, one step away from tin foil hats. You know I don't…and even if I did you're my friend, Hanazawa, I wouldn't do something like try and steal your girlfriend. You love her and that's a sacred thing. Like, the most sacred. I would never do that to you just like I know that you would never do that to me if Ritsu was a girl…or now even…so stop being so paranoid. Both of you. Especially you, Ritsu, because you know for a fact….ugh!" said Sho. He got up and walked across the room. Mob thought that he was going to leave but instead he opened the closet door, went inside, and then slammed it.

"That's a closet!" said Teru

"I know!" said Sho. There was the color of his aura and the walls began to rattle. Ritsu sighed and got up. Mob watched him. She knew him better than most people. He wasn't annoyed or mad or anything. She knew that face. He was worried.

"Sho….come on." Said Ritsu

"What? You're going to accuse me of hitting on your sister again?" asked Sho. Ritsu closed his eyes and exhaled.

"I never said that you were hitting on her, I said that it was like you were hitting on her. I know you and I know that you would never do anything like that…just….can I come in?" asked Ritsu

"No." said Sho

"Please? Come on, I don't want to play hide and seek." Said Ritsu

"No, you want to play sardines." Said Sho

"What's that?" asked Ritsu

"Reverse hide and seek. We played it in London….or maybe it was Leeds….I don't remember I was like seven…" said Sho

"Well then fine, I want to play sardines. Can we play?" asked Ritsu. There was a pause and then the closet door swung opened. Ritsu stepped through and then the door closed.

"Well this is certainly awkward…" said Teru. Mob nodded. It was…and she felt like she was the cause of it. She didn't mean to laugh, Sho was just really funny. She played with her bracelet for a little bit. She still liked Sho a little but she would never, ever, ever hurt Ritsu or Teru. You could like someone and not do anything about it. She liked Master Reigen and she had never done anything about it.

But she still felt bad.

And also awkward.

Sho and Ritsu were still talking in Teru's coat closet. Well coat and junk closet, but this was a new apartment and all of his old junk had burnt with the last apartment so he hadn't had the time to accumulate new junk yet. She didn't care what was in it, just that her brother was in there talking to the love of his life and…and it was about her and something that she did. That wasn't…that wasn't something that she wanted to be responsible for.

So she excused herself to the bathroom.

Master Reigen always said that if she ever found herself in an awkward situation she could always say that she needed to go to the bathroom. Nobody in their right mind would ever argue with that, he had said. Teru certainly hadn't. He just lifted his arms and she got up and hid in his bathroom for a little bit until the awkward feeling passed.

But it didn't.

So she decided to hide somewhere else because it was rude to tie up the bathroom when she didn't need it. It wasn't like it was at her house, there was only one bathroom, and she was not going to stay in there all day reading the backs of shampoo bottles. Instead she crossed the hall and decided to hide in Teru's bedroom. It was clean in there again, they had cleaned up the morning after they…did all of that stuff. Everything was back in it's proper place. The books were back on the shelf, the drawers were back in his dresser, and his clothes were back in his wardrobe. He had a wardrobe and a dresser. The dresser was for socks, underwear, and pajamas. Everything else got hung up in the wardrobe. It was big, bigger than the one he had before he said. It could fit a person…more than one person.

She climbed inside.

She shut the doors behind her.

It was dark in there, so dark. She couldn't make out anything at all. There was only the one, single, thin sliver of light that came through the crack in the doors. She held her hand up to it. She could see herself and nothing else. She was alone there, alone where she couldn't cause anyone any harm. She didn't mean, she never meant to, but she still did. What was wrong with her? Why did she always do the wrong thing? Why was she the way that she was?

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey? Shigeko? Are you in there?" asked Teru

"Why are you asking? You know that I am." Said Mob because, well, he must have been able to see her aura. She was bright, like a lightbulb in the dark. Auras were like lightbulb light, though, because they didn't usually light up space. It was…different. She didn't see auras with her eyes….they were different like that. She didn't know why hers was so bright, or in two colors. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't know why she was the way she was.

"I know it's just…polite….I guess. Can I come in?" asked Teru

"It's your wardrobe, Teru, you can come in if you want." Said Mob. She may have had a tone there, but she didn't know. She didn't even know when she had tones, sometimes. Something else that was wrong with her.

"I know it is I just didn't know if you…uh…were playing sardines, too." Said Teru

"I guess I sort of am….and you can come in….if you want." Said Mob. She opened the door with her powers. He climbed in, slowly, and then closed the door behind him. Mob scooted to the back and he followed. They sat side by side in silence.

She watched his aura.

He watched hers.

Something hung down in her face. She batted it away. There were three layers of clothes in his wardrobe. Hers only held one layer of clothes and she hadn't been able to climb inside of hers since she was really little. She had tried, before, so see if there was another world behind her clothes. There wasn't but then again you never found the other world if you went looking for it. The other world found you, usually after you died, or someone summoned you, if anime was something to be trusted. Unusually boys, though, not girls. That might have been why there was no world at the back of Teru's wardrobe for her to hide in, either. Just clothes, clothes, clothes, and then the end. Also shoes. There were shoes in there but she had pushed them out of the way.

She shifted a little and brushed up against a plastic bag. The rustling broke the silence that hung over them like a spell. The sound broke it.

"I wasn't accusing anyone of anything." Said Teru

"What?" asked Mob

"Back there when Suzuki was being….Suzuki. I wasn't accusing him of…and I would never accuse you of anything, either! I trust you. I trust you totally and completely." Said Teru

"Oh, you mean when Sho called me cute. Of course he didn't mean anything by it, he doesn't even like girls. At least I think that he doesn't, I never asked. He doesn't like me, anyway, he made that clear." Said Mob

"…..and you don't….I mean of course you don't. You're not that kind of girl." Said Teru

"That kind of girl?" asked Mob

"The kind that would…just let another guy hit on her right in front of me. You would never….ever do anything like that. I trust you." Said Teru

"Oh, ok. You're right to trust me. I would never do anything like that to you, Teru. I love you and you love me. Sho was right, love is scared." Said Mob

"Yeah….Suzuki was right…." Said Teru

"Are you alright?" asked Mob

"Yes. Why?" asked Teru

"No real reason, you just had a tone there." Said Mob

"Yeah….I guess that I did. It's just…I mean I know we talked about it and all but….nothing. Just…you call him Sho and you always laugh at him and…and I know you don't mean anything by it. I don't know, I guess I'm just a jealous guy….maybe Suzuki's right and I'm just one step away from making myself a tin foil hat….heh." said Teru. Mob scooted closer to him. She knew the tin foil hat guys, they hung out at the train station and shouted really loud about all the people conspiring about things. Like the big tree downtown was conspiring to eat people or something….because of all the people who had been going missing lately….

"If you ever want to be a tin foil hat guy I'll still love you…but just stay away from the big broccoli tree. Ok?" asked Mob. Teru laughed and took her hand in his.

"I promise I won't go near the evil broccoli tree." Laughed Teru. He brought her hand up and kissed it.

"And I promise that….that I won't make things awkward anymore. I just….I feel bad about making things awkward and making everyone fight and making Sho hide in your closet…" said Mob

"You didn't make him do anything. He's in there because he wants to be. You don't ever make things awkward. If anything your brother being so overprotective…or you mom making your brother tag along every time we do anything or go anywhere…." Said Teru

"She's just worried that I'm having sex with you." Said Mob

"Wh-what-? Damn…thought my voice was done changing. What makes her…think…I mean…she doesn't know that you came here for New Year's Eve, did she?" asked Teru. Mob shook her head before she remembered how dark it was in there.

"No, she doesn't know that I went out. She found the clothes that I bought, though. Well she found the underwear first and she said that she knew what that meant, that I was buying nice ones, and then she talked to me all afternoon about sex and stuff….stuff that I didn't ever want to know about…and she asked me if we ever had sex. I told her 'no' because that's the truth. She didn't ask about other stuff and I don't think that I would tell her but I'm not good at lying and moms have this power where they can get the truth out of you. She would have been mad if she knew, anyway, and I don't know why she's so worried. I don't see what's so bad about having sex. I mean I know that I could have a baby but I take medicine for that. I don't know why she doesn't want me to if the medicine that she made me take keeps me from having a baby." Said Mob. Teru had been holding her hand before but now it was just sort of…cradled by his. He was breathing weird, too. His aura was jumpy, too.

The clothes hanging down at their heads began to float.

His aura.

"You-you're planning on us…I mean you want us to…." Said Teru. His voice was weird, then. It kept on trying to go high and then low like a seesaw.

"To have sex? Aren't we going to? I mean, we already do stuff and isn't the point of doing stuff to become comfortable with more and more stuff until we do…that? Unless you don't want to. I understand if you don't want to do that with me." Said Mob. Well it would make sense if he didn't want to. He always said that she was pretty, so damn pretty, but sometimes she had trouble believing it…she really did. She was just so…her. She was so her and he was so him and maybe he didn't even want her to…maybe that was why he always did more for her than she did for them, when they did stuff. Maybe she was bad at it…what they did do….

"Of course I do!" said Teru suddenly. He held Mob's hand tight in his. He felt warm, very warm. It wasn't that way in there…

"I just…I don't want to rush you! That's why I've never asked you to…I mean I love what we do already and I wish that we could do it more often….not that…that it's the only thing that I want from you….with you! With! I just….I really love you and I want to…um….express it physically. What the fuck….come on Teruki, are you forty five?" said Teru

"No, you're fourteen, same as me." Said Mob. There was a pause before Teru leaned in and kissed her. He missed the first time but made it the second time. And the third time. And the fourth time. Quick kisses, very quick. Not slow or deep. Quick and shallow. Slow and deep would have been weird….because her little brother was in the same apartment as they were….

"God….I love you damn much….but I won't ask you to…I mean, I want you to ask me. It's just…it's easier for me if you ask. I never know if I'm pushing you…and I can be kind of pushy…like on New Year's Eve-" said Teru

"You didn't push me, Teru I got carried away. One thing led to another…and I liked where it led…and it felt good….and I want to…to do that stuff again…and I wanted to back then, too. You didn't push me to do anything, Teru, and you never do….and I want…I want the things we do to be things that both of us want. I don't want you to just…to have sex with me because I want to…and I'm still not sure if I want to…because it seems like it would be a lot…but I don't want to…to make you, I guess. I have to make sure that-" said Mob

"Green light. Whenever you're ready it's…it's green light." Said Teru. Now it was Mob's turn to heat up. Did he just…he wanted her to…he wanted the two of them to…

Ok then.

That was….a lot of things.

"I mean…I want to. It's always been…it's always been a lot for me too…but it's also something that I want…and I want it with you. You're the only person that I've ever loved or even…or even trusted this much. I trust you not to…if I'm not good I know you won't….make fun of me I guess. That's…it's something that I worry about. I mean I worry about a lot of things. I worry about you…you meeting someone else. I worry about you…realizing how amazing you are and leaving me….and I worry about…I worry that, sometimes…and this is crazy….but I worry that something is going to come up and you'll just be…gone. But I don't worry about…about to rejecting me or-or thinking that I'm not enough. So when we…when we have sex….I just…I just you. I don't fucking know, sorry, I'm just rambling I guess…" said Teru

"I trust you too, Teru, and I don't mind if you ramble. I love you and I trust you and I just…yes. I love you and I trust you. Ok. For you it's green light…for me it's orange light. Or yellow light…but not red light." Said Mob

"O-Ok. Not red light….so does that mean that you want to…I mean….sorry I just don't know how to ask you this….can we…um…" said Teru. Mob knew his meaning. They were alone. It was his apartment. He was there. She was there. They had just been talking about….stuff. Yes. His meaning was perfectly clear.

"I…don't know. My brother's here…." Said Mob. This felt…different…than being in her room. Well for one thing her room was her room and she could do whatever she wanted in it. This was not her room…this was Teru's wardrobe….and also she had never been as far in her room as she had been in Teru's room…and his wardrobe was part of his room….

"He's not HERE though. He's…playing sardines in my living room closet….and feel free to say no! Really, you can say no to me whenever you want….but we just haven't been alone in a while…and I've been thinking about you…." Said Teru. He ran his fingers up and down her arm. She felt her skin get all covered in goosebumps, but not from the cold. She had been thinking about him too…and it wasn't that often that they were left alone….

"So I was just wondering if you wanted to…play sardines…." Said Teru. He was closer to her, now. She couldn't see him there in the dark, just his aura. Gold colored. She could see hers, too. Pink. Blue. Electric blue. Bubblegum pink.

"How do you play sardines? Reverse hide and seek? Like Sho said?" asked Mob. She felt him pushing her head down a little. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. She felt his fingers move from her arm to her back.

"Sort of. One person hides and everyone tries to find them. They all hide with the hider…and they end up close together…like a can of sardines…." Said Teru. He was running his fingers up and down her back now. It felt nice. Through a layer, two layers, three if she counted her bra, if felt nice.

"That's the game?" asked Mob. Her hand found his other hand. She liked it, holding his hand. It was bigger than hers, and softer too. His nails were filed down to rounded ovals, she felt in the dark. There was a dusting of hair over his knuckles. Blond, hard to see in the light, impossible to see in the dark, but so very easy to feel.

"Pretty much. Just…hide with someone else…" said Teru. She could sort of feel him talk, her head was in the crook of his neck, and the vibration of it made her…want to feel it more…if that made any sense to anyone in the world besides her.

"And then?" asked Mob

"Then?" asked Teru, his fingers moving up higher on her back, to the clasp of her bra, but through her shirt and undershirt. She leaned back into him. This was like her room, really. It was private. Private within limits. Besides, Ritsu and Sho were probably done fighting and as much as she didn't want to think about they were all alone too…so Ritsu wouldn't be knocking on the door asking her to come out and hang out with him and Sho any time soon…

"What happens after you hide with the person?" asked Mob into the crook of his neck. Her teeth grazed him there and he gasped before leaning down into her. She leaned up and kissed him a little there, her teeth eventually resting over where she could feel his pulse.

"Wh-whatever you want….since we're the only two people playing…here…." Said Teru. His other hand left hers and found the hem of her T-shirt. It was an EVA shirt, her new one, but she wouldn't have minded, terribly, if he were to…maybe pull it off of her….she wouldn't mind terribly at all…

"What do you want?" asked Mob into the pulse point on his neck. Whenever her teeth grazed him there he gasped and said something that she could not understand but knew to be something good. She could read his tones, there, at least. That was the low, raspy, gravelly, gaspy tone that he took when he liked something.

"I…want to make you feel good…so let me….please….but if you don't want to…" said Teru. Mob leaned into his touch and made a sound of her own. His were low and gravelly and raspy. Hers were high pitched mews and whines, kind of like a cat's, which was weird but those were just the sounds that she found that she instinctively made when they were….like this….

"Teru…make me feel good…and let me make you feel good….but not too much…because my brother's here…and it's kind of weird for me…sort of…" said Mob. She kissed his pulse point. Quick, a quick peppering of kisses that led him to reaching under her shirt and sort of resting his hand on her stomach.

She kissed him harder.

He still stayed there.

She kissed him even harder, bit him, bit him a little more. As mch as he begged her, as much as he told her that he loved her, he just….wouldn't move. Move up. Move down. Move **somewhere**. Move **anywhere**. Up. Down. He just sort of stayed there. One hand on her bare stomach, the other on her back, right above the clasp of her bra.

This one didn't hurt but she did…she didn't think that she would mind…if he wanted to undo the clasp…

AND that was her getting carried away again. Nope. Not while Ritsu was there. That would be just too weird, first of all, and second of all she could get caught. This was not her room…not that she would ever be undressed in her room….well she was undressed in her room sometimes because she had to change clothes every day and sometimes just looked at herself naked in the mirror….but this was not her room and her brother was in the same apartment probably…not that she wanted to think about what Ritsu and Sho got up to…because that was an atmosphere killer…and not that she wanted to think about just Sho…even though that kind of fixed the atmosphere….but that was wrong…and she needed to think about Teru…because he was right there and he was making….oh yes that sound he just made was…she didn't know how to describe it as any other way besides delicious….because she wanted to…eat….it…if that made any sense…

"Teru….please….do something….move up…and down….move somewhere…green light" said Mob. Well she gasped it. She didn't know why she couldn't talk…maybe because her breathing was coming out weird. Maybe because she felt like she had just run the entire body improvement club circuit. Maybe because she wanted to be quiet so that she didn't get caught. Maybe…there were a lot of maybes….

"If you….if you say that it's ok…." Said Teru. His hand moved down, to the band of her skirt…and then up….to the bottom of her rib cage…then lower again….it actually tickled a little.

So she laughed.

"I'm sorry…it just tickles…" said Mob. Teru leaned down and kissed her. Long and deep this time. He kissed her like they were sharing gum…but they were not sharing gum. Just spit. Saliva. Germs…but this was not germy. This was nice. Even if it was kind of slobbery it was nice…

"Don't apologize….don't….I love your laugh….I love your smiles…I love knowing….knowing that you're happy….I love knowing that I'm making you happy….and I want to make you happy….so tell me what you…want…" said Teru. Mob had to think about that. She thought about it while she kissed him. It was better than thinking about Sho, anyway, which was good….because Sho was not her boyfriend….Teru was…and he was who she wanted to be with. She couldn't…well she could imagine but imagining was just that…imagining…the only person she could see herself doing this in real life was Teru…

"I want you." Said Mob telling the total and complete truth. She wanted him. Not just when they were like this. She wanted to wake up next to him. She wanted to bump elbows with him when they brushed their teeth. She wanted to make breakfast with him even though she had no idea how to cook….she wanted to be with him. She always wanted to be with him.

"N-Not here….not like this. You deserve better than…this. Just…you deserve better than…my wardrobe." Said Teru

"I don't understand. What does it matter where you are? I want you, Teru. I want to be with you. I love you and I don't care where we are or what we're doing. I just want to be with you." Said Mob. Teru let out a breath that Mob had no idea that he had been holding or why.

"I thought that you meant that you wanted us to….I mean I know I said green light but….you deserve better than my wardrobe." Said Teru

"Oh…..I didn't mean that we should do that…right now….because it's kind of a lot for me right now….but I would like to...in the future….and also on your bed. Or my bed. Just…a bed. Because that seems like it would be more comfortable….but I don't know. People do that in beds, that's all I know…and I know how they do it but I don't know…all the steps I guess…." Said Mob

"You're right, a bed would be…best. I mean there are lots of places but beds are good for…beginners…like us…and I want it to be good for you. I mean, it's your first time and I know what that means for girls." Said Teru

"It doesn't mean the same for boys?" asked Mob. Boys did talk about it more in general and she knew, well she had heard, that they sort of moved from girl to girl sometimes. But that made no sense. Why wouldn't it mean as much for boys as it did for girls? Because they didn't have anyone inside of them, a thought that is both exciting and terrifying, but they were inside of someone. Mob didn't know. She figured that it took a lot of love and trust to put yourself inside of someone else. Just as much love and trust as it took to let someone else inside of you…but she wasn't an expert on these things.

"I mean….for some guys it doesn't and for some guys it does. I…I never thought that it would mean as much to me as it does…with you. That's why I want it to be good for you…because I just like knowing that I've made you happy…and you deserve it…because you're so…you." Said Teru. Mob frowned, a little. She knew what he was getting at. He said it a lot, that she was perfect. That he didn't deserve someone like her. It was kind of romantic but also kind of….not. It felt almost like she was being…worshipped….and she did not like that. She was human the same as everyone else. She was just as much a part of this relationship as he was. He treated her like he wasn't worthy of her, like she was something to worship, or something. She was human the same as everyone else. They were equal partners in this. That was what being a couple was about.

"Oh. Ok. You deserve to be happy too, Teru. You're always saying things like I'm perfect and you love me…and I feel the same way about you…but sometimes it seems like you don't think that I mean the same things that you do. I just…sometimes I feel like you treat me like I'm…I don't know. Like you treat me like those psycho helmet guys do. Not like you worship me, I mean, but you think…more of me than I am. I'm human the same as everyone else." Said Mob

"I think the world of you, you know that, and you deserve that. Shigeko…you died for me. The way…the way that you talk about that day…you died for me…for all of us. You didn't have a fucking body….those were your exact words…and even without that I have never in my entire life met someone as forgiving and accepting as you. I know I say this a lot but…but I was such an asshole to you and you still gave me a chance…you put up with so much…and you just keep going…and you're so nice and…yeah. I don't know. I guess I do put you up on a pedestal and I guess that you are human…but you're not the same as everyone else…and not because you're so crazy powerful. You're not like everybody else because of how…nice you are….and nice does not do you justice. Ok? I love you and you mean so much and, yes, I put you up on a pedestal because you deserve it…but if it bothers you I'll stop…" said Teru

"Thanks. I just…I wish that you could see how much you matter to me. You're an equal part in this relationship and it's not all about me….it's about us…so when you say things like it should be special for my first time…well you're there too…and you said that you had never done that, either, so it's both of our first times. I want it to be nice for you, too…but not now and not here because this is a wardrobe and also my brother is here…and he would notice…and ask questions that I do not ever want to answer. Not because of you but because I do not ever want to talk about any of that with my little brother." Said Mob. Teru leaned in and kissed her.

"I understand. This is not an ideal place I don't want to…that….with your brother right in the next room." Said Teru

"I think that they're still in the closet. Neither of their auras has moved in a while…so they're either arguing or…kissing I guess." Said Mob

"I don't care what they do as long as they don't bother us." Said Teru. He took her hand in his again and kissed her. She kissed him back. His other hand met the back of her head and played with her hair. She leaned into him, the way he touched her, and she made a noise that was maybe too loud.

"Ritsu wouldn't-he would. He totally would." Said Mob with a laugh as they broke apart. Yes, Ritsu would. As much as she loved him she knew what he was like. She wanted to think the best of him but he would totally knock on the door and tell her that it was time to go home or something like that.

Little brothers were so...much…sometimes.

They always tried to ruin what were good, private, moments.

Moments like this. This was definitely becoming a private moment.

"Yeah…that's your brother. I mean…ok…he has a good reason not to believe that I've…changed…but you know that I have…and you're what matters. Who matters. You matter and I just…I want to make you happy…and I want to…make you happy…so can I?" said Teru. His hand let go of hers and went to her side. Mob wanted to nod, to kiss him, to tell him green light. It had been a long time, a very long time, and she didn't know why it felt like such a long time because she had managed to go her whole life without…any of that…but now that she had gotten a taste of what it was….she wanted more…but not that much more…

It was complicated.

She wanted a lot of things right then in that moment. She wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to be held by him, to be kissed by him, and to never let him go or be let go. That was what she always wanted from him, now. It was a different feeling than the usual butterflies that she got before…or from other people. Maybe because they had done so much together and they more they did the more she wanted to do with him and the more she wanted to do with him the more she…trusted him. The more she loved him. This was love, she thought, and it was nice. Real love, not just liking someone a whole lot. She loved him. She really loved him.

And it was a big feeling.

Love was a big feeling and when she had big feelings she lost control. That was what it felt like to love someone, to lose control. To lose control but in a good way. This was certainly a good way. He was kissing her again, deep, like he was good at. Like there was a piece of gum between the two of them but there wasn't. No gum, just them. Just the two of them. He put his weight against her, she knew what that meant. He wanted her to lay back, to lay down. She did. She used her powers to push the shoes out from behind her back. A plastic bag rustled, too, but Mob didn't care to know what was inside. All she cared to know was what Teru planned on...where Teru planned on going with this.

He kissed the corner of her mouth…then lower. He found the space on her neck, the crook of her neck, that made her inside quake like a plate of Jell-O cubes. She gasped as his teeth nipped that spot. The wardrobe groaned as she groaned….as he kept on…

She was making a lot of noise.

And she was losing control.

And her brother was there, in close proximity…..

Mob sat up.

Teru was scared, it seemed, scared that he had done something wrong. He was always so scared that he had done something wrong even though he didn't have to be. If he did something that she didn't like she'd tell him. Like the finger thing on New Year's Eve, that hadn't been that great and she told him so. He was saying sorry now, over and over again….and she was telling him not to be sorry. She didn't want him to be sorry. She never wanted him to be sorry for making her feel good. He was sorry for making her feel good, sorry for making her feel bad before when they met, and sometimes he was just plain sorry for no reason.

Well this was no reason, no good reason.

And she told him so. She told him so over and over again until he just stopped apologizing and started listening.

"Teru, it's not about you. This is about me. You make me feel good, very good, and when I feel good I lose control-" said Mob

"I don't care if you make a mess. We'll just clean it up later. It's not like I have parents to bitch, sorry, complain." Said Teru

"It's not about the mess….I just…my brother's here!" said Mob finally. She covered her face as she said that, as if her brother would pop right in…which to be fair was a habit of his. His aura and Sho's hadn't moved…not that she was watching his aura. She did not want to have even the faintest clue as to what was going on in the junk closet.

"Right….yeah. I get it. Do you want to go back to watching TV? We totally can, if you want to. Just…give me a minute." Said Teru. He was sitting, now, with his knees drawn up to his chest. Mob knew why he sat like that, sometimes, and she didn't know why. She knew the difference between boys and girls and she had…well she hadn't seen it but she had certainly felt it…so why hide it? That was just what happened to boys when they wanted to do…stuff….like how she got wet and stuff…and he didn't mind…so she didn't mind.

That was what she told him, that she didn't mind.

Then she crawled over to him with bravery that she didn't know that she had. She had…she wanted to make him feel good, too. She wanted to make him feel as good as he made her feel. Not just physically but also…but also this other feeling that she had. That feeling that grew within her. This warm feeling, this giddy feeling, this amazing feeling that was hers, his, theirs. This feeling that started off as butterflies in her stomach and ended up as a fire inside of her. Not the big, scary, kind the burnt her house down but instead the low, slow, sort of fire that was good for cooking meat on. Cooking fire, slow and steady. Nice. Good. Safe.

She wanted to make him feel everything.

And everything included this…

"You don't…you don't have to." Said Teru, his voice shaky. Her hand was on his leg. He had put his legs down, now he was sitting like normal. They were alone and she was not going to waste it. This was a rare moment of privacy and one of them was going to get the most out of it…and it was going to be him. He was always doing things for her…not that she owed him…but she wanted him to feel good. She wanted to make him so very happy…as happy as he had made her…

"Teru. I want to." Said Mob. She looked up at him. In the sliver of light from the crack between the wardrobe doors they made eye contact. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest. She could see his aura bouncing around him in the darkness. She could feel the way, the good way, that he was trembling under her touch.

It felt good knowing that she could have this effect on him.

It felt good to have confirmation that she, too, could make him feel everything. She could make him feel everything and she would, if he let her. He let her. He said green light, after a while, after a while of asking her if this was what she really wanted. After a while, well it felt like a while, of assuring her that she didn't have to do anything that she didn't want to. That he would never use her like that. That he would never make her do anything.

It was a while of that.

And it got kind of annoying.

He stopped when she just flat out asked if this was what he wanted. She told him that if he didn't want her to do something to him, with him, then she would stop. That he mattered, what he wanted mattered, and that she would never force him into anything. That she was worried, too, about messing things up...and also that she loved him.

She wanted to show him how much she loved him.

And he let her.

He let her undo the button on his pants and push the zipper down. She hadn't seen what color his underwear was, that felt important for reasons that she could not ascertain, but she could feel that these were silk, which was nice. Soft. He liked nice things. He cared about nice things. That was why she was careful when she tried to push his underwear down, lower.

Then she learned something about boys. Their underwear had a hole in the front for convenience.

Which was something she had gone almost fifteen years without knowing.

But it was nice to know. It made things easier, and she didn't risk ruining the waistband. She didn't want to end up ruining any of his clothes, he cared a lot about them. He cared a lot about his things, it seemed, maybe because his entire life had exploded not too long ago. But Mob was trying not to think about that. Any of it. She tried to think about, to focus on, what she was doing.

Not that she knew what she was doing.

She had no idea what she was doing. She licked her hand, like before, because boys didn't get wet. She knew that, at least. Aside from that she was just sort of moving up and down. Sometimes he gasped. Sometimes he groaned. Sometimes he moved into her touch. Sometimes he said things that she understood. Sometimes he said things that she didn't understand…but she also did.

Good things.

His hands were at his sides. He reached over, sometimes, to touch her face or her arms but then he always pulled back. Mob figured that she was doing it wrong, though, because it was taking longer than it had before. Before, the first time, it had taken no time at all. He just put his hand over hers, showed her what to do, and he finished. She had heard that finishing fast was a bad thing and that she should want him to last for hours and hours but that didn't make much sense. The faster you finished the better it was and she wanted it to be as good for him as possible. The only trouble was that she had no idea what she was doing.

He always knew what he was doing, even when he said that he didn't. Like on New Year's Eve when he….did all of that. With his fingers…and his tongue…and she had finished so fast and so hard that she hadn't even been able to **see** for a second. She hadn't been able to see or hear or think or anything like that…because it had been so very good…

And she wanted him to feel so very good.

She reached behind herself with her powers and pushed her braids back. Then she…how had he done it? He had built up to it, that was important. It was important to never just jump into it, that was how people got startled. She didn't want to startle him so she built up to it.

She kissed his stomach.

His aura slammed into hers.

"Shigeko! You-you-you-" said Teru

"I just thought that…since I like it so much when you did it…that you would like it if I did it to you….also is this ok? I probably should have asked you first." Said Mob. Teru was breathing in so deeply. In and out. In and out. It was like he had run a mile.

But they were still here.

Nobody had run anywhere.

"Shigeko…Mob…do you want to…I want this but only if you want this to happen…" said Teru. Mob wanted this to happen. She wanted this to happen because she wanted to make him feel good. She wanted to make him feel as good as he had made her feel, before.

And that was what he said.

Then he was quiet for a little bit.

And then he said yes.

He said yes and it was at that point that Mob realized that she had, maybe, gotten a little carried away again. She most definitely had no clue how she was supposed to do this. He had just sort of gone for the nubby thing and then it had been over. But boys were more complicated than that. She knew what people said, people said all sorts of things when they thought nobody was listening, and they said that girls were complicated. They said that girls took forever. But girls did not take very long at all, or at least Mob didn't. It was like nature gave girls a button that said 'press here to feel good' and it delivered what it promised on. Boys had this whole big thing and it was very complicated…well to Mob at least. It seemed complicated. The whole thing did.

Maybe you were supposed to just…well it was supposed to fit inside of you…even though Mob had zero clue how something this big was supposed to fit inside of her…so maybe you were just supposed to take the whole thing…inside. Maybe. She had heard that expression, before. She had heard that expression…well a million expressions for this. Choke on it being one of them…and she figured that she would choke…if she tried to…

So maybe just treat it like an iced pop instead?

She tried that. She started at the top, short licks, experimental licks. Short and experimental licks. He made a high pitched whining noise when she did that…then he told her that she was the most amazing person that ever lived. She was the most amazing person…and that he loved her so much…and then he said a bunch of times that he had never had anyone do this to him before and that he was glad it was her.

Then she treated it more like an iced pop.

It tasted like skin. Salty skin. The whole thing tasted like salty skin and something that she could not name but…was not bad, not really. He also tasted like salt soap a little bit, too, but that was probably because he had taken a shower that day. She could even smell his soap, a little, it was mixed with a smell that she could only describe as being 'Teru'.

He smelled like himself.

And he tasted like himself.

She treated him more like an iced pop and tried to take the whole top of it in her mouth. This was both the right and the wrong thing to do. It was the right thing, it seemed like, because he sounded so happy when she took the whole top part in her mouth. The part with all of the extra skin the moved around when she touched it but, surprisingly, didn't hurt him when it moved. No, he seemed to like it. He ran both of his hands through her hair. His moved more of himself into her mouth. He said that he loved her. So it was a good thing.

But it was also a bad thing.

Because she had barely had time to get used to it before he pushed her away. At first she thought that she had done something wrong but then she felt something hit her tongue. That was when he had pushed her back, a little hard, and she hit the other side of the wardrobe. A fluffy sweater fell on her head. She pushed it off with her powers.

What was this….?

Well she knew what it was, obviously…but she had tasted this before….

But where?

She thought about this while he apologized. He apologized and cleaned up with the sweater that had hit her on the head. He was sorry, he said, and he didn't mean to. That was something that she did not understand. He hadn't meant to finish? Why? That was the point, wasn't it? To feel good? Well she was happy that she could make him feel good, so good…

But what was this?

The answer came to her after he finished cleaning up. Boba. This was boba. This tasted just like boba. The little balls of tapioca at the bottom of bubble tea. She wanted to ask him if it was supposed to taste like boba. She wanted to ask him if it always tasted like boba. Was it just him or did it vary from person to person? What did she taste like? Also boba?

Now did not seem like the time to ask.

Now seemed to be the time to hug, to kiss, and to cuddle. The kissing seemed a bit…odd…because he had just been in her mouth but she was not complaining. Not even about the cuddling even though they did not have the room in that wardrobe. Not even about the fact that she would never, ever, ever be able to so much as look at bubble tea again in her entire life…

Or maybe she could just get bubble tea without the boba at the bottom…but the boba was the best part. Otherwise it was just a really cold smoothie. But she didn't really want any bubble tea right then so she decided to cross the bridge when she came to it. She didn't need to think about that bridge, she had another, more pressing, bridge to think about crossing. A bridge that was long and perilous. A bridge that if she made one false move it would come tumbling down and she'd fall down the chasm into the river below. This bridge was called her little brother.

Because she had been in the wardrobe for a good long time and she was amazed that Ritsu hadn't come looking for her.

Or maybe he had just learned not to go opening doors when he knew fully well that he would not like what was on the other side. That would have made sense. She didn't just go into his room, anymore, because she knew that she would not like what she would end up seeing if she were to just throw his door opened. She hoped that things weren't going to be awkward….because Ritsu most certainly knew what she had been doing…and she knew that he had been doing something…

And nobody wanted to know this about their sibling.

Not even siblings as close as they were. Thankfully when she made it back to the living room Ritsu didn't say anything. He was just watching TV….and he was wearing his outside hoodie inside….and he had drawn the top up really high…but not high enough….

She did not want to know how he got those marks on his neck. She could live a very long life without knowing the details of what went on in that closet.

Why Ritsu was so red and marked up.

Why the living room was a mess.

And why Sho was hanging from a hook wearing his outside coat and pretending to be a scarecrow.

So she, and everyone else, minded their own business for once…and it was wonderful.

Sardines was a wonderful game.


	6. The Quiet Game

Mob knew that she had to learn to be quiet.

Which seemed like it would have been weird. People always said that she was too quiet, so quiet that they could forgot that she was even in the room. Her teacher even marked her absent once when she was sitting right at her desk. That had been…not good. Especially because mom accused her of skipping school and it only took Ritsu assuring her that yes, they had walked to school together, for her to stop accusing Mob of things. It all worked out though, because mom totally believed that Mob could be so quiet that she could accidentally be marked absent.

If she could be quiet on accident then why couldn't she be quiet on purpose?

She had a lot of trouble being quiet on purpose. When she and Teru were alone together…and they were so rarely alone together…she just couldn't be quiet. Not with her voice and not with her powers. She was used to the way that her powers got all out of control when she had big feelings, that was normal for her, but that didn't mean that she had to like it. Her voice, too. Well the voice thing was new. She never had these kinds of big feelings before quite recently so she hadn't even known that it was possible for her to say things and make weird noises without even realizing it. But it was possible, it was very possible, and very embarrassing.

The most embarrassing.

Because she did not need anybody to know why she had these big, new, feelings…and what she was doing to feel them. Sometimes she wished that she could just hit the back button and go back to when hand holding was all that she ever thought about and kissing made her blush…but she couldn't rewind back to the halcyon days of a few months ago…and she had tried. She tried willing herself not to think the thoughts that led to these big sorts of feelings. She willed herself to think about something else, something innocent. Cats with fluffy fur and long tails, the way frogs swam when you made them float, the minutia of EVA, even the multiplication tables. Nothing worked. Trying not to think about it just made her think about it more.

Which was not good.

She had heard, before, that it was boys who were supposed to be like this. Boys were the ones who were supposed to think about things like this every thirty seconds…which made no sense because then how would they get anything done? But she had heard that. It wasn't every thirty seconds for her, if it was then she would get nothing done in her life, but it was often. Sometimes even at the weirdest of times. Not just when she and Teru were cuddling on the couch holding hands and watching a movie, or when they were on a date and talking or kissing, or even those rare times when they were alone and ever so slowly moving from holding hands to kissing to deep kissing and then to…more touching. No, not always at those times.

Sometimes she thought about these things at times that were downright weird.

Sometimes she would be sitting in class all zoned out then her eyes would rest on Tsubomi and she wouldn't even be doing anything, just sitting there and then Mob's mind would go right to being all alone in class with very long and complicated scenario that they were in the EVA universe and there was an angel attack but Mob didn't have powers and wasn't an EVA pilot and they were trapped and Mob protected her and that somehow led to kissing and…other stuff…and then sometimes things in the room would start to float or the lights would get all weird…and then Mob would ask to go to the nurse but hide in the bathroom for a while….

Those times were not good times.

Neither were the times when she'd be in club and all tired from working out so she would go and sit with Tome and then they'd get to talking, well Tome did most of the talking, and Mob would just listen for a while but also zone out eventually, not that she planned on it, and just got lost watching Tome talk and then start to remember the times that they kissed and Tome got kind of carried away and would try to touch Mob…like Teru did….but then she would go back and rewrite what happened, in her mind not in life because as far as she knew nobody had the power to travel through time, and in her mind Tome would ask like Teru did and then Mob wouldn't be afraid because she'd be ready and then they would do…stuff…and it would be so nice but then she would be making things float, again, and messing with the lights, also again.

Then Tome would look at her for a really long time with a look that Mob just could not read.

It was even worse at work. Being at work meant being near Master Reigen and being near Master Reigen meant looking at him…and talking to him…and listening to him….which was a lot. She had been worried, before, about how she was supposed to be able to go to work and look at Serizawa after she remembered, well Sho's dad's memories, not hers, about what happened between him and Sho's dad…actually it turned out to be very easy to be in the same room as him. Those memories were not that clear, and were not hers, so it was very easy to shove them away and not think about that. The thoughts about Master Reigen, though, those were hard to shove away.

Very hard.

There was nothing that he said, nothing that he did, that her mind did not want to twist into something embarrassing. Even something as normal as a pat on the back for doing a good job made her imagine him running his hand down her back and then up her shirt, like Teru did, and then he would undo her bra clasp…and he would know how to do so, probably, and then they'd be all alone and then…stuff would happen. All kinds of stuff. Stuff that she knew could never happen. She had a boyfriend and he was an adult. She knew these facts, these basic facts, but knowing the basic facts was not enough to get rid of all the stray thoughts that she tended to have about him…all the time…even when he did something as simple as say hello to her. He'd say hi and then they'd get to talking, well he'd get to talking, and then she'd stop listening and start imagining him…

He'd hold her hand and tell her that he always liked her.

Then he'd kiss her. Lightly and then more and more deeply until it was like they were trying to share a piece of strawberry flavored gum…

Then he'd pick her up and sit her on his desk but he wouldn't stop kissing her for even one second even though they needed air to live but this was her mind and in her mind breathing was optional even though that meant a level of world building that she was not going to get into. Just…they didn't need to breathe and he was a really good kisser and he had always liked her but he had just been afraid to tell her because of the age thing…and then they'd keep on kissing for a while…

Then she would stop herself at that.

She had to stop herself at that because once she got to the part where he picked her up and sat her on his desk, and there was usually a part with a desk and that desk was usually his, things would start to float and the lights would start to get weird and then he'd start asking her what was wrong and she'd say nothing but he wouldn't believe her and she could not tell him the truth because, well, the truth was super private and embarrassing….

The most private.

The most embarrassing.

And it Just. Would. Not. Stop.

The stray thoughts just would not stop. It was like having a mosquito buzzing in your ear. Sometimes it went away but just when you thought that it had gone away for good it came back and just…buzzed. Incessantly. School. Work. Sitting in her room all alone trying to read or watch something on her phone or do her homework or sleep….all totally normal things that she did and had been doing since the beginning of her life. Well not since the very beginning because she couldn't read when she was born and also she didn't have a phone back when she was born either….ok so nice for her entire life but most of it...so therefore she did not welcome the unwanted intrusion of the constant stray thoughts! She didn't know what was with but they just would not quit!

No matter how much she tried to ignore them.

She tried and she tried and she tried but like a pesky mosquito these thoughts would not be ignored. Thoughts about pretty much everything and everyone…well not everything because there was still some stuff she was not ready for…and not everyone because there were some people in this world that it would be wrong to think about like that….but still, a lot of thoughts. Thoughts about being held…being kissed…being touched. Scenarios that made zero sense when she really thought about it…like the one about her and Tsubomi all alone at school. If it were a real angel attack then they would have been long dead…or the one about Master Reigen….all the ones about Master Reigen…

There was no way that he liked her like that. He was not that kind of adult. Despite what Ritsu thought, Sho maybe had a point with his whole tinfoil hat theory, Master Reigen was not that sort of adult. In reality he was not that sort of adult…but in her mind…when she gave into the weird thoughts…he was totally in love with her and one day he just could not keep it a secret anymore and it was raining outside and also Serizawa's day off and they were all alone and then he said something like-

"_Mob, I love you and I think that you're really pretty and nice and I want to kiss you and also I want you to be my girlfriend." _And she would be single in her mind so that would make it ok. She did not want to break up with Teru just so that she could hold hands with Master Reigen and kiss him and have him kiss her…and then he'd pick her up and put her on his desk…and then he would do that thing that Teru did where one of his hands would be on her back and the other one would move up her leg…and then his one hand would make it up her shirt…and the other up her skirt…and they would still be kissing….

And other such things that she knew she should not have been thinking about.

But she just could not stop it. Once she started, and she was all alone, then she just could not stop. She thought about…well a lot of things. Her and Master Reigen…her and Teru….her and Tome….her and Tsubomi…even her and Sho…though that one was wrong and she always felt super guilty afterwards….

Guilty and embarrassed.

Very embarrassed.

Because whenever she let the stray thoughts get all carried away…well…she kind of lost control. She messed with the lights. She made things float. She made the house shake. She made the plants outside grow. Not only that but she did, occasionally, find herself saying things…things that she did not even realize that she had been saying. Happy things. Sometimes whole words. Green light, yes, please, I love you…

Sometimes names.

Sometimes just half said words that made no sense but might still have been kind of loud because the walls were thin…way too thin….why did her parents have to buy a house with such thin walls?! When Mob grew up she was going to make sure that her house was made out of concrete and was totally soundproofed. As soundproofed as you could make a house before it got weird and people thought that you were a serial killer like in that movie she saw, and did not really enjoy, about the guy who soundproofed his house so he could chop people up….horror movies were weird sometimes….because wouldn't it just be easier to not kill people? Just stop killing people and then you wouldn't have to worry about your neighbors hearing all of the screaming and the chainsaws….

But maybe some people were filled with the irrepressible urge to cut people up with chainsaws.

Mob was glad that her stray thoughts were just about sex and not about something bad, like killing people. That would have been something to feel guilty about. So really she shouldn't feel guilty…even if she did think about people who weren't her boyfriend….because she never thought about killing people. Actually that was setting the bar way too low, wasn't it?

It sure seemed like it.

What kind of way to be was that? She may have had intrusive thoughts about everyone she knew, almost everyone, but at least she never thought about murder. Always sex, never violence. Not that she wanted to think about violence, no, not even to get rid of the constant stray thoughts. She would not replace them with violence, if she had the choice to replace them. She just wanted them gone, though…

Because they led her to do the most embarrassing things.

Getting carried away wasn't just for when she and Teru were alone together. She could get carried away all on her own when she was all alone, and it was much easier to be left alone on her own than when she was with Teru. She would be all alone in her room and the stray thoughts would come and she'd get all carried away and then her powers would act on their own accord, as they often did, and then she'd wake up the whole house and have to lie and say that she had a bad dream…and she hated lying…and also then people would feel bad for her and would offer to make her warm milk or get the night light set up or guard her while she slept so that nothing could get her….well Sho only offered to do that a few times before he gave up…

She wondered how long the bad dream excuse could hold out for.

She had heard mom and dad talking about taking her to a psychologist because she should not have been having so many bad dreams. Also she heard Ritsu talking to Sho and he was worried that all the bad things that happened were catching up to her. The stuff with Claw and Sho's dad and the big evil tree that people were starting to pray to…and eat weird candy from….which she did not even mean to grow in the first place. She didn't like to make the people she cared about worry. Not about things that were real like the big tree and not about things that were fake like the bad dreams that she said that she had. Making people worry was a terrible feeling.

Not as bad as the feeling she would get if anyone figured out why her powers were really acting up and she kept on making weird noises in the middle of the night.

So she was just going to have to work on being quieter. That was something easier said than done, of course, because her powers had a mind of their own. Her powers and her voice…she had never been the best at self-control. Containting big emotions. They always got the best of her, eventualy. They got the best of her when she met Teru for the first time and when she saved the world and when she grew that evil tree and when she tried to have some time to herself in her room and do that thing that was so fun and good and-

She really needed to work on being quieter.

She had no way to stop the stray thoughts and no plans to stop having her alone time, because it really was nice if you ignored the embarrassment, so she had to learn how just…stop. Stop making noise and stop losing control of her powers and stop waking up the whole house in the middle of the night and making people worry about her...she just needed to get that whole thing under control…which was something easier said than done. She had been trying to control her powers for her entire life. They did not want to listen. It was like they had a mind of their own, sometimes, and she had no idea how to get them to listen.

She was bad at bossing people around.

She couldn't even boss herself around. She couldn't make herself stop thinking about…stuff…and she couldn't get her powers under control and she couldn't even stop herself from drinking milk straight from the carton either! It was hard…but maybe she wasn't working hard enough…

So she decided to work harder.

Good things came to those who worked hard for them, Master Reigen said so. He obviously wasn't talking about things like this but it still made sense. Mob just had to try harder to control her powers when she…well in general, obviously, but also when she felt really big feelings related to things that she did not want people to know about. It was one thing to actually shake the house when she had a bad dream, or to shatter her mechanical pencil when she got mad at her math homework, or to burn out all the lights when she slipped getting out of the tub…those were all things she could tell the truth about…and she didn't care if people knew about those things.

Because they were not private things.

She cared if people knew about private things, that was why they were private. Private meant that nobody could know about them. That was why people had to wear clothes all the time even when it was really hot out. Not that Mob wanted to walk around naked or anything, she hadn't wanted to do that since she was three. That was also why she and Ritsu were too old to take baths together, which she totally agreed with. Well at the time when she had been nine and he had been eight she had been sad because she had never in her entire life taken a bath without her brother but now that they were older she totally got that they needed their own privacy for stuff. Not just their own separate baths but also for, well, a lot of stuff.

He still would not knock.

Not even when Teru was over at their house and they were up in her room with the door opened. Dad let them go up to her room so long as she kept the door opened. Mom said that they had to be in the living room where she could keep an eye on them, which made no sense, because she always made Ritsu and Sho hang out with them. Dad was nicer than mom about that. He just told her to keep her door opened and stop playing music so loudly. He didn't even make Ritsu hang out with them.

Not that Ritsu needed to be told.

"What kind of gum is this?" Mob had asked. They had been kissing on her futon. There was music playing, the original EVA soundtrack, but it wasn't super loud. Her door was opened but only a quarter of the way. Teru's doing. She wished that they could have gone to his apartment but mom said that she liked it better when Teru came over to visit Mob. Also whenever she wanted to go to Teru's apartment she had to bring Ritsu with her and Ritsu always brought Sho and Sho always got stir crazy and that was not good.

"It's supposed to taste like a tropical sunrise…whatever that tastes like." Teru had said. Well he had kissed her another couple of times, very quick, the kind of quick that made her make a weird sort of noise that meant that she wanted more. Kind of like a whine but lower. She only made that noise once before she stopped herself. Nobody but Teru needed to hear that noise or know what it meant.

"Kind of like…lemonade and orange juice…." Mob had said. Then they got back to kissing. Well more like their tongue were fighting over that piece of gum. She strongly suspected that he was letting her win. She had found herself inside of his mouth after all. It tasted like this weird kind of gum he bought on the way over and also the dental floss he used, the cinnamon kind, and also…rice? She felt like mom and dad when they had their friends over and they drank wine and talked about all the tastes in the wine. She and Ritsu had snuck some once and they agreed that it just tasted like awfulness and adults could be downright odd sometimes.

He tasted much better than wine.

She wondered what she tasted like. She had brushed her teeth before they started this. She needed to, she felt like. She hadn't eaten anything weird that day, just milk and cereal and toast and also citrus candies, Sho hated them but he always got the assorted ones, but she still felt like she needed to brush. And floss. And use the bubblegum mouth wash that she and Ritsu were supposed to share but Sho, actually, drank sometimes even if he made himself sick. She also tried mom and dad's mint mouthwash…and it was awful…but if it tasted awful then she remember that if it tasted bad then it was supposed to be good for her.

But maybe that was enough oral hygiene. She figured, anyway, because she had been debating spraying perfume in her mouth, too, like in movies. There was a difference, probably, because one was meant for the skin and one was meant as breath spray. Also her gallon of perfume said 'not for internal use, not a food, do not consume' which meant that…that she was one of those people who were the reason that they had these warning on stuff.

Like how mom's curling iron said not for internal use.

Or like how the detergent pods said 'do not eat' and 'this is a poison' and stuff like that.

Not that Mob was even sure if it would kill her, perfume, or anything. She had been set on fire, thrown through buildings, had skyscrapers dropped on her…then there was the time when she felt all of her bones break and she had to put them back together…and then there was the part when she didn't have a body anymore…that had hurt…and she had lived through that….and grown that weird tree…and she hadn't died…

Sometimes she actually did have bad dreams.

But this was real too and it was not a nightmare. She should not have been worried about anything. Not whether or not it was possible for her to die, not about the weird tree, and certainly not about whether or not the inside of her mouth tasted gross and Teru would just sit up and tell her that the inside of her mouth tasted gross and then he would say that he never wanted to kiss her again and…

He would not say anything like that.

But he would put his hand on her leg. He'd pause long enough to ask her if this was ok and she'd say yes…and then she would roll from her side onto her back….because they had been laying on their sides, and he would sort of half lay down next to her…that thing where he propped himself up with one arm and the other would be…his hand would move up higher and higher and he would kiss her more and more…and she'd **like** it so much…

Then things started to float.

His hand was between her thighs, now, in the sensitive skin of her inner thighs….so very close to her…place…and she wanted him to just keep going up higher and higher…such a big feeling…and that big feeling fed her powers….and she could feel her hair floating and the blanket rising up off the ground….and then he did reach higher, high enough to…but not high enough. There was still a centimeter between his finger and her…

"Tell me…that you want me to…" he was so close when he said that. Close enough that she could feel him breathing against her ear and it made her entire body shudder and also the room…a little…because she could not make the house shake right now…even though she was shaking…

"You know….that this is….a green light thing…" whispered Mob

"I know but…you're being so quiet…and barely anything is floating…." Said Teru

"I know. I'm trying to be quiet and not make things float." Said Mob

"Why? I love it when you-" said Teru

"I know you love it but I don't. When I make too much noise or lose control of my powers then…people notice…and I don't want people to start asking me questions about what happened because…this happened. It's not you, Teru, I just-" said Mob

"Don't want your whole family to know about this kind of stuff." Said Teru. His hand was still there but his fingers had stopped moving, which gave Mob some time to…adjust…if that was the right word for it. To get used to it, him, being there. To be able to tell her powers to stop it for a minute.

That was what it was like, a conversation. She was getting better at those. She was still kind of bad at talking but she was getting better at communicating. Communication was the key to any good relationship, she had heard that before, so maybe it didn't just apply to romantic relationships. She and Teru communicated all the time and their relationship was great.

This was great.

And then it wasn't.

Mob had been pretty quiet and pretty good about keeping the house from shaking and the lights from flickering and burning out, which was good, but it was also bad. Ritsu was getting better at not opening doors when he knew that what was on the other side was not meant for him to see. Usually he took the house shaking and the lights being weird and whatever else Mob did as a sign that he needed to stay away. He did not want to see that after all, they were normal siblings not weird late night anime siblings, and he only bothered her because he was worried that Teru was going to break her heart or make her do stuff that she didn't want to do. Ritsu worried too much about her, he really did. He said that he didn't think that she was too dumb to run her own life, to tell when someone was just using her for…stuff…..but she wasn't. She could run her own life just fine.

She wasn't dumb just because she was a girl.

He said that she didn't know how guys could be. He said that he knew how nice she was and how she went along with everything everyone told her to do. He said that because she was so nice he had to look out for her. Then she said something, a few things, that were not very nice. She told him to mind his own business and that she loved Teru, Teru loved her, and if she wanted his protection then she would ask for it. She had tones, there, which she did not mean to use.

She should not have been so mean.

Her being so very mean had been so very pointless, anyway. Ritsu just said that he would not be able to love with himself if Teru broke her heart after getting what he wanted and left her all alone. He could not live with himself if he hadn't protected her from that. He said that he knew how guys were. She asked him if he was like that, or Sho was, but he said that the entire situation between him and Sho was totally different. Mob didn't see how it could be so very different. Because they were both boys? Well then if Ritsu thought that every single boy in the entire world was just after sex and nothing else then he was not only insulting Teru but also himself and Sho.

In Mob's opinion.

It was also in Mob's opinion that they should always knock on each other's doors. She stopped barging into Ritsu's room, not that it had been that bad of a habit in the past, because one time mom sent her upstairs to see if Ritsu and Sho wanted ice cream and she caught them kissing…a lot….and a lot like how she and Teru kissed when they were all alone. That was not something that she wanted to see. That was not something that she ever wanted to see. But she did see it. It was there in real life 4K ultra HD reality. She could not un-see it. But she did learn a valuable lesson that day. Always knock or else you'll see something that you're not supposed to, freak out, and not be able to speak to your brother for almost three whole days.

She wondered how long it would be, this time, before she and Ritsu could talk to each other again.

Because she had been so very quiet, she figured, that meant that he thought that it was safe to push her door all the way opened and remind her that mom said that the door stayed opened or she was taking it off it's hinges. Mob did, in fact, remember what mom had said and could have been reminded just as well if he had just said something and not opened the door. But he did open the door.

Mob had no idea what he saw from his angle but she knew that it had been pretty…clear…from any angle that she and Teru were in the middle of…something. Something that little brothers were not supposed to know about let alone see with their own two, very panicked, eyes. But he did see what was happening with his own two, and very panicked, eyes. He saw and he made this weird noise, kind of like a yelp and a scream, and then he ran away. He also fell down the stairs, it sounded like, and she would have gone to check but she had been so paralyzed with embarrassment that she couldn't even sit up let alone run out of the room and make sure that her little brother hadn't broken his neck on her account.

"….well he had been playing with fire. When one plays with fire one does run the risk of getting burnt." Was what Teru had said. He said 'one' which meant that he was trying to sound more grown up. He was taking the whole thing well, she thought. He just took his hand out from under her skirt, wiped it off on her futon, and then took a few deep breaths. He was red, though, very red. His aura was showing, too. Gold. Very gold. Mob's aura was showing, too. Pink. Blue. And her skin was red. All of it. Even her hands.

She could see, too, Ritsu's dark blue aura out of the corner of her eye.

Good. He was embarrassed too. Maybe then he would learn to knock!

But at least she had been quieter….so…yay? Every cloud had a silver lining, they said, even though that made no sense because that would make them too heavy to stay up in the air. That was a saying that meant that there was always something good with the bad. There was another saying like that, too. When God closed a door he opened a window, which made no sense. Why would you have to open a window every single time you opened a door? Some parts of talking made no sense. Some parts of life made no sense…like why little brothers could be so very annoying sometimes. Well the window with silver lining to that situation was that Ritsu had left her and Teru alone for a good, long, time after that.

Which was very nice.

She missed hanging out with Ritsu, of course. She missed when they would stay up late watching TV together, when they would play videogames together even though she always let him win at Mario Kart, when they would talk/argue about EVA for hours and hours, and when they would play in the snow together, too. They didn't do any of that together after he opened her door when he knew good and well that he should not have. Not just because the snow was starting to melt, either. It was just so…awkward. She missed those times with him. They had been becoming few and far between since he and Sho started going out and she and Teru started going out…

But at least he didn't bother her and Teru anymore.

And she had gotten even better at the quiet game.

The rules of the quiet game were simple. All you had to do was be quiet. Be quiet when you kissed or cuddle or touched. Be very, very, very quiet. Don't make noise and don't use your powers. A simple game that she was beginning to master. Teru was much better at it than she was but his powers were more…his powers let him boss them around. Hers didn't. She had to talk to her powers, like a conversation, to get them to listen. To get them to stop freaking out every time she and Teru did private stuff together.

Which was becoming more and more often.

Because her control was getting better, she stopped shaking the house and messing with the lights, mostly, they could kiss and touch more often. Sneakily. Not as freely as they could in her bedroom or his apartment or out in the woods when the weather was nice but they could kiss and touch more often. Not just quick kisses and hands held as they watched a movie or something, no, more than that.

"She won't be back in for another twenty minutes at least. Is this ok?" asked Teru, his hand reaching around her waist and to her leg. She scooted closer to him. He used his other hand to pull the couch blanket over. That was a blanket to keep you warm and cozy while you watched TV, not a blanket to keep the couch warm and cozy. Couches didn't need to be warm and cozy, just comfortable. Comfortable enough to….yeah.

This was not at all a bad idea.

"Green light." Said Mob. She was sitting with him in her living room. They were watching EVA together, which was good. Mom could not stand 'that robot show' as she called it. She was in the kitchen on her laptop working. Mob could hear her typing. Ritsu and Sho were out somewhere, she didn't ask where because it was none of her business, and also she and Ritsu couldn't get more than five words out to each other at a time anymore. Sho thought that it was hilarious, that the whole thing was hilarious. He laughed a lot when Ritsu told him. She had heard it through the wall. He laughed so hard that he started to choke on his own happiness.

Mob didn't see what was so funny.

But she didn't say anything because she should not have been eavesdropping anyway.

Thank goodness that she hadn't said anything, though, because that would have been awkward. One, to borrow a word from Teru, did not comment on conversations that they were not a part of through their bedroom wall at midnight on a school night. Even if she was the subject of said conversation. From what she heard through the wall it was best that she should not have gotten involved in that conversation….because she did not want to discuss that with her little brother even if Sho was wrong to think that it was funny…and even if he felt the need to say 'bang' a lot. A whole lot.

She was sort of grateful that he and Sho were off somewhere doing something. Hopefully not whatever the boy equivalent to this was. Ritsu was too young. Even if he did wear his hoodie with the high neck inside the house all the time, now, even when they all ate breakfast together as a family. It was none of her business, anyway, and she trusted Ritsu to run his own life. Even if he didn't always extend her that courtesy. But now he was extending her the courtesy of some basic privacy…while she did something really dumb on the living room couch.

She sat back into him and parted her legs a little. He leaned down and kissed her. Slowly. Deeply. Quietly. She felt a mewing sound begin to come to life inside of her and she told it to go away. She did not need her mother coming in and catching her with Teru's tongue in her mouth and his hand on her leg underneath the scratchy couch blanket.

She closed her fist as she felt her powers reach out around her. The picture on the TV flickered in and out. The lamp next to her was getting brighter. She wanted…she wanted him to touch her…because it had been so long…and it had been a long time she…did the thing…by herself…too….and she had been thinking about him for a while….

They were the only two people left in the world. The sky looked like outer space, there was LCL everywhere, and the city was in ruins. They were together on the beach like in End of EVA but nobody was strangling anyone because that was wrong. Instead he was holding her so very close….

"_I'm sorry that I rejected instrumentality but I had to. I didn't want to share you with the whole world, I want you to be mine and mine alone. But not in a possessive way because I'm not like that." _He would say. Then he would kiss her and she would kiss him back and the inside of his mouth would taste like that strawberry gum they liked even though there was no more gum or food or water and it had been the end of the world…

"_Teru I don't care that we're all alone in this wasteland and that we're probably going to die from hunger and thirst and also everyone we ever knew is in that LCL sea. I'm just happy that I have you and that we can be together and stuff. Also everyone isn't dead but actually very happy so we don't have to mourn them." _She would say. It was important that she knew that everything was fine for the people that she cared about. Nobody died in the end of EVA, despite what Ritsu thought. Not that she was thinking about Ritsu or anything. That would have been super weird.

"_That's good. I'm really happy that we're here together, Shigeko, because I've wanted to be alone with you for so long. You're so damn pretty and nice, but no too nice like Ritsu says I am, and I love you a lot. Can I do all that stuff that you like but we never have the chance to do?" _he would say. Also they would be naked for reasons that Mob hadn't written into the dream yet.

"_Ok. Can you do that thing where you sort of push down on the nubby thing and go in an up and down circle, then switch directions, then push down really hard when I get close? Also can you do that thing with your tongue that you did on New Year's Eve? I really liked that but we haven't ever done it again. Also can I just sort of look at you naked because you never just let me stare at you and I don't even knew wat you're…looks like. I just know what it feels like. Also say stuff in your language while we do this even though I have no idea what it is that you're saying.." _She would say. Then he would…oh yes!

Not in the exact way that she liked…but he was touching her there….and his teeth had found her pulse point….and now his teeth were moving up to her ear…and now her hand was under the blanket and had found his pants…and now her hand was moving up…and this was fine because she could still hear mom typing which meant that she was still working and wouldn't be in to check on them again for a while…so this was ok and not at all risky and dumb and she was not getting carried away or anything like that.

The couch was trying to float. She had to be present in the moment. She could not get caught. She had to win at this, the quiet game. She had to win. Teru was winning right now. He was whispering, not talking, and his powers weren't acting up or anything. He had his teeth pressed right against her ear and he was saying….she had no idea what he was saying but she liked the way it sounded….

"Du bist die liebe meines lebens….das fühlt sich gut an, nicht wahr?" she had no idea what he meant but it sounded so good and…and she was getting….but she hadn't intended…well she wasn't sure what she had intended but….but the living room was not the place…

"Teru….I'm close…" said Mob softly. Very softly, she tried to be, anyway. She just needed…she needed a minute to compose herself…because the typing from the other room was becoming sporadic…and she was so…close…and his hand had stopped moving but it was still **there**.

"Do you want me to stop…or do you want to cu-finish? Said Teru softly, so softly, and so close to her that she shuddered…and the house tried to shudder…and the typing had stopped…

"Red light. My mom's coming." Whispered Mob. Teru practically jumped away from her. He took one of the couch pillows and sat stiffly with it in his lap. The blanket was still across the two of them. Mob crossed her legs at the ankle and sat up straight. No, wait, maybe she should have tried to look more natural…

Footsteps. Quick ones. They stopped at the edge of the living room. Mom made that tsk noise, too, that she did when she saw something that she disapproved of.

"Shigeko. If you're cold then turn up the heat…and use separate blankets. We aren't poor people, Shigeko, we can afford the luxury of having more than one blanket." Said mom after a while. Mob didn't have to be told twice. She practically jumped off the couch and ran up to her room. She stayed up there for a moment and just willed herself to calm down. She needed to calm down because her powers were trying to do…stuff…because she had just been doing stuff and nobody could ever know that she had been doing…stuff…She had been so…but that was the living room couch. That was the living room couch and it may have felt like she was all alone but she was not. She was not alone at all because mom had been in the other room and if getting caught by Ritsu was bad then getting caught by mom would be a thousand times worse….

She didn't get to finish, or help Teru….but she had been quiet.

That was the point of the quiet game after all. To feel good and be quiet about it.

She was getting good at that.

With Teru, on her own, she was getting good at that. Mom hadn't said anything to Mob besides telling her that if she and Teru were cold then they needed to turn up the heat and that this was not a poor family and that Mob and Teru were always to use two blankets. She sound cross, there but not too badly. Mob had heard her more cross, before, like the time that she and Ritsu had brought all of those frogs into the house when they were little. Or the time she and Ritsu poured milk directly into the cereal box and ate the whole thing.

She wasn't cross. That was what was important.

But what was most important was that she didn't lecture Mob about sex or punish her for doing sex stuff. No, mom just sounded kind of cross, that was all. She was just kind of cross and it had made the atmosphere weird but because Mob had been so quiet she wasn't in trouble, like before. That was good. She was getting better at the quiet game. She was getting good enough at the quiet game that she could even play it when she was all alone in the middle of the night.

Without waking up the entire house.

She could just lay down in her futon and just let the stray thoughts…be. Just let them exist…and not fight them. Not ignore them. Just…enjoy them. Because she did…it felt good….it always felt good. It was like a switch had been flipped in her brain, no, a dimmer switch, one of those that turned the lights on slowly. She always had thoughts like this, stray thoughts, but they had been…less. More about kissing. Kissing and hand holding. She never thought about more than that. She couldn't think about more than that, she had no frame of reference…and she had been afraid, too, but not anymore…and it was nice…

"_You know, Mob, you're really cute and I'm sorry I tried to do all of that stuff with you before you were ready." _ She sometimes had stray thoughts about other people, people who were not her boyfriend. Was that wrong? She had no idea. They were just thoughts, everyone had thoughts like this, and they didn't mean that she would actually go out and do…any of this. Especially not with Tome because, well, she had a boyfriend too. They both had boyfriends now…but not in her mind….

"_It's ok, Tome, I'm ready now. Also we're both single and I'm glad about that because otherwise we'd be cheaters and cheating is wrong." _She wouldn't actually do this with Tome. They were in relationships…and also she was kind of scared. Tome wasn't like Teru…she always just sort of jumped in…and Mob didn't much care for that. Also Mob had never done anything with another girl before…and she had no idea if she was any good at it…because she was just herself and other people were themselves…

"_Good. I'm going to pick you up and sit you on the club table, it's ok because everyone went home, and after that I'm going to touch you and do that tongue thing that you like but you don't know that you like because you're not dating Teru right now. That is…if this is alright with you." _That was what they had lacked, asking permission. Also Mob may not have been…there…yet even if Tome had asked. But that didn't matter because this was all in her head and in her head they were both single and Mob was ready for all of this…

And maybe she should return the favor.

It was important to return favors. Maybe she should have…put Tome on the club room table…and then do all of that stuff that Mob knew that she liked…that she figured would feel good…but she had no idea how to do….but she wanted to…she had never done this with any girl before but she…she sort of wanted to…but was that wrong? She had someone who loved her and who she loved…but this was just in her head…and she would never actually do this…

So then maybe this was ok.

Maybe it was ok to imagine…all of this. Doing all the stuff that Teru did for her…to Tome…and the stuff that she wished that he would do. Kiss her way up Tome's legs…with just a hint of teeth but not enough to actually hurt…and then go up higher and higher….

The lamp on her desk switched on, glowed hot white, and then burnt out.

Sometimes she lost the quiet game.

At least she had managed to keep it contained to the room that she was in, now. That was the best she could do, it seemed. She always started out fine but then the closer she got the more out of control her powers got and then she always ended up doing something. Sometimes she messed with the lights, sometimes she made stuff float, and sometimes the room just started to shake. She had made progress, though, and that was what mattered the most. She had managed to learn to be quiet…or rather quieter…and that was what mattered.

She could make the most of what little privacy that she had.

And it was very little.

When mom was home it was almost zero privacy. She came in and checked on them more and more since the time with the blanket. Sometimes she even brought her laptop into the living room and worked there even though she complained that it was hard balancing her laptop on her knees. Mob suggested, then, that mom could go and work on a real table. Mom just said no and then the next day an amazon box with a tiny table in it showed up at their house.

There was zero privacy when mom was around.

Even when she wasn't.

Dad didn't ever hover around them or check on them, which was nice, but mom had given Ritsu standing orders to always hang out with her and Teru. Mob knew that these orders were from mom because Ritsu told her why he had hanging out with them all the time and going on dates with them and all of that. Not that she didn't like the return to closeness with him, because she did, but she did not want to go on dates with her little brother. What was mom's plan, exactly? For Ritsu to follow her around for the rest of her life to keep her from having sex with Teru? Not that Mob had any concrete plans to have sex with Teru…but the option was still there…not that it was REALLY there because, well, they were almost never alone.

She was not playing the quiet game with anyone, let alone her own little brother, in the same room.

And she did not understand why mom was so against her doing…stuff…with Teru. She didn't understand it at all. How could something that felt so very good be bad? She understood that it was private and she understood that she could have a baby if she had sex but she took medicine for that. Medicine that mom had ambushed her with a trip to the doctor, not the usual doctor, to get. Mob could not begin to understand what was so bad about something that felt so good and why mom….well she could understand the whole ick factor of family doing this sort of thing….but making Ritsu tag along all the time did seem a bit like a tinfoil hat thing, to borrow some words from Sho. The words fit after all, this was kind of a tinfoil hat thing.

Dad agreed.

Well Mob had overheard dad agreeing with her thoughts. She had been sitting in the tub and heard mom and dad talking through the vents. Their bedroom shared a wall with the bathroom just like her room shared a wall with Ritsu's. Whoever designed their house certainly had o taken into account the future occupants' need for basic privacy. You could hear everything in this house….

"Hana, don't you think that you're being just a little bit unreasonable. I don't like it either but it's normal and that's all we've ever wanted for Shigeko, to live a normal life. Besides, with her powers it isn't like anyone can make her do anything that she doesn't want to-" dad said that. He made sense. She liked dad better than mom, in that moment, but then stopped because she had to love her parents equally.

"That's just the problem! She WANTS to. I was her age once, honey, I can read the signs. She's always trying to go off alone with that boy, she's dressing like a-a-a- I don't even want to say, she's buying new underwear-" Mob frowned at that. What was wrong with wanting to do that with someone? Mom and dad did that, even nowadays despite being so old, so what was wrong with it? How could mom be mad at Mob for doing something that she herself was doing…with dad…still….Mob was grossed out, not mad. There was a difference. Also she would never tell her parents that they were not allowed to kiss or cuddle or hug or do…any of the stuff that they did to make her and Ritsu….

"Hana….I do not want to discuss our teenage daughter's underwear…." Dad was making a lot of sense that night. Mob didn't want anyone discussing her underwear but her.

"I mean, fine, she had been needing a bra for a while-" Wait, mom said that she hadn't needed one for a while. What was with this?

"Hana! I am not talking about our daughter's…underclothes….I'm just not!" said dad kind of loudly. The vent echoes a little there.

"You never want to talk about anything relating to the kids growing up. I know what I said when they were born but I could use a little support here. I don't want her to end up pregnant or hurt…you know how sensitive she is...well you don't because whenever it comes to either of the children growing up you choose to bury your head in the sand." Said mom

"We had an agreement. You're a woman so you're going to deal with Shigeko becoming a woman-" said dad

"You didn't help me when she got her first period, either. You just have her fifty thousand yen and sent her to the store!" said mom. Mob closed her eyes. Yeah…she remembered that day….that had not been a fun day….but on the bright side it didn't' come every single month like mom and the school said that it would…so that was good…and she got to keep the extra money that dad gave her...

"Next time I'll send her with more money, I thought that fifty thousand would be enough-" said dad

"It's not about the money, it's about the fact that you always ignore-" said mom

"I do not want to talk about our daughter's period!" dad said that really, really, really loudly. Maybe even loudly enough for the whole house to hear….and she did not want anyone to talk about it either…

"You never want to talk about anything that has to do with the children growing up! And don't give me that crap about dealing with Ritsu. You've seen the hickeys, and they are hickeys, I do not believe his story about a winter at all. I know what hickeys look like, Shigeko and that boyfriend of hers are certainly fond of necking. Talk to our son! He's seeing someone and it's your job to teach him…everything! And you've got the easy job! You only have to worry about one boy, I have to worry about every boy!" said mom. Well that was mean. First of all Mob was not a cheater, she only had one boyfriend. Also Mob had a girlfriend before, too, so that statement was also inaccurate. Thirdly mom did not have to worry about anything!

Maybe that was where Ritsu got his 'can't mind his own business' gene from….and maybe her as well with the constant eavesdropping….

"Hana, he's thirteen years old. The worse he'll do is a hickey. Hell, he's doing better than I did at his age." Said dad

"Stop with that double standard crap. If it's not ok for Shigeko then it's not ok for Ritsu. I do not want to be a grandparent anytime soon. At least I can make sure that Shigeko is taking her medicine, and don't give me crap about not wanting to discuss our daughter's birth control, but I cannot speak to whatever the girl that he's been seeing is…doing…for….preventative measures….. He's a thirteen year old boy, you know what's on his mind." Said mom. Mob wanted to agree with mom that Ritsu was too young, not that she would ever try and stop him and Sho from doing whatever private stuff that they did together. She didn't want to tell mom and dad that Ritsu didn't like girls at all, Mob figured, and that he and Sho were in love and going to be together for the rest of their lives…

That was not her secret to tell.

"Hana, I don't want either of our kids to be doing anything like this. I want them to still wake up at five in the morning to watch cartoons and eat cereal from the box and build blanket forts in the living room. Those times are over and all I want is for them to be…to be normal. Normal and happy. Of course I don't want our teenage daughter having sex. Of course I don't want her to do whatever it is she does with that boy when he's alone. Of course I don't want Ritsu out there thinking with his dick and getting some poor girl pregnant because, yes, I was a thirteen year old boy once and I know what's on his mind. I also know that trying to stop the kids from growing up is like trying to tell the tide not to come in. Hana, whether we like it or not it's going to happen so we can either make the best of it or drown. Instead of trying to control them just….redirect them…because they are still such kids. Hell, Ritsu still spends all of his time with his best friend. Just…Hana the preacher's kids are always the wildest, ok! Just trust that they'll make good choices. I mean, with you as a mother we know that they've been brought up right…" said dad

Then Mob heard kissing sounds. It was at that point that she closed the vent and stopped listening. For her own good.

She still did not understand what mom and dad were on about. Something that felt good, physically and emotionally, could not have been a bad thing. She didn't understand how growing up could have been a bad thing, either. She understood that it was gross to think about a family member doing stuff like that but she did not understand why it would make someone mad if their family member was…doing stuff that felt good…physically and emotionally. Maybe she was just the weird one in this situation. Maybe this was just something that she was socially weird about.

Well she had been eavesdropping on her parents so maybe, yes, she was the socially weird one.

Or maybe her whole family was socially weird and could not mind their own business and it was all genetics that has been passed down from generation to generation to generation in an unbroken line of social weirdness. Maybe her kids would be socially weird, too. They would be half her after all. Or maybe they would be socially awesome, because they would be half Teru, and he was a social expert….had she just thought about her and Teru and kids in the same thought at the same time in her head….?

When she was an adult, obviously. If she and Teru were still together, obviously. It was too early to start imagining a life together, obviously. They were too young, obviously. She couldn't think about things like that now. They were only fourteen. They didn't even know if they were going to the same high school yet, even. She would probably end up going to Black Peppercorn, that was where a lot of kids from Salt ended up going. He would probably go to Red Wine Vinegar because that was the high school that most of the kids from his school ended up going to. So they were probably going to end up in separate high schools and they would have to see how they could make that work. That was enough to think about. She couldn't think about a far off future with him. They were too young….they hadn't even known each other for a year…

They could break up.

The thought of breaking up with him hurts her more than anything else in the world. It makes her inside feel like she swallowed a cheese grater that had been left out in the rain to rust. She knows that couples break up all the time but she just…she doesn't want to think about her and Teru breaking up. He loves her, she loves him. She had never felt that for anyone in her life ever before. The real and true kind of love…and that was why she wanted to…to do all of that with him.

Right?

Maybe that was what was meant when everyone said that they worried about her getting hurt. She had done so much with him…more than she had ever done with anyone else…and it made her feel so close to him…but then if he were to break up with her….like Tome had broken up with her…and it had hurt so much, getting broken up with….it had hurt the most…and if Teru broke up with her it would hurt even more because they had already done so much…

That was not a good thing to think about.

It was a new stray thought. A mean stray thought. A hurtful and pointy stray thought. The sort of stray thought that she does not want to have. She used to wish that something would come and chase away the stray thoughts, the ones about playing games and other such private things with just about everyone she knew, but this was an even worse stray thought. She just could not shake it. It would pop up in her mind. Constantly. It made no sense, though, because Teru had given no indication that he wanted to break up with her. So why was she having these awful thoughts? Even when he was right next to her…

"What's wrong? If this is too sad for you we can change it." Said Teru. They were sitting in her living room watching a movie that Teru had picked out. It was about a really big boat that sank and a lot of people died…so yes it was very sad….but Mob had been feeling very selfish lately. Instead of caring about the people freezing and dying she cared more about Teru breaking up with her. That made no sense because he was sitting right there with his arm around her and his hand resting on her waist and the other hand holding hers….why did she have to feel like this?

"No way! This is the part where the boat breaks in half!" said Sho. He and Ritsu were there too. They were allowed to share a blanket, mom even took a picture because they were so cute. Mom's words. Then mom made Mob go and get two separate blankets for her and Teru. She would have stayed in the room too but dad whispered something to her and they went in the other room. Mob could hear the clanking of laptop keys and the sound of music, mom's by the sound of it, drifting through the house.

"If sister doesn't like it then we can watch something else. We can watch Evangel-" said Ritsu

"No! I am….I love you, Mob. Don't give me that look, Hanazawa, not like that. I am not at all in love with Ritsu's big sis. Emphasis on the SISTER part. I mean, I love you as if you were MY big sis…and not in a weird way! I love you like a sister but I…I just can't do it anymore. We've been watching it nonstop since I met you guys…I get it, it's a good show, but there are literally THOUSANDS of other mech shows out there-" said Sho. Mob, of course, needed to fix this before Sho went through his entire life thinking that EVAs were mechs.

Because that was just not at all true.

"….which was a really big thing for the series, you see, and we find out in the next episode that-" said Mob. She had maybe been talking for too long but every time she tried to stop Teru asked her to keep going or asked a question. That was why she was going episode by episode now, so she could be sure that she got everything. Ritsu was listening, too, and he was interested. He would have left the room if he didn't want to talk about EVA…or let Sho leave the room…

It was kind of cute the way that Sho kept on bouncing around on the couch and trying to roll off. She chose to see it as cute like a brother cute, because he thought of her as a sister, and not cute like she wanted to go live out in the country and run an animal shelter with him…and also see if he had freckles everywhere…..

Another stray thought.

Maybe she was going insane. She had Googled signs of insanity when she first started having stray thoughts, well thinking about Serizawa of all people like that had been the point at which she considered seeking professional help, and one of the signs of insanity was intrusive thoughts that were uncontrollable. Of course she was probably fine, the examples the internet gave were about killing people or committing crimes or doing…stuff…with a family member….so maybe she wasn't going insane after all…

Still. Bad thoughts to have about her brother's boyfriend.

"Mob…Ritsu's big sis….I will build you an EVA. I will go out there, dig up a dead angel, clone it, build it a mech suit, and hand deliver it to you if you please, please, please stop!" said Sho. Ritsu told him to stop being rude. Teru said that she could talk about whatever she wanted to talk about. Mob was just happy.

She had reached him.

But maybe she had also been talking for a bit too long. She had that habit, and it was not a good one, mom said.

"We can go do something outside if you want to, Sho. I know how you don't like being inside for too long." Said Mob. Well that had been a nice distraction. Maybe that was what she could do with her life to get rid of the stray thoughts. She could go around explaining EVA to people, like those people who went door to door and told everyone about the Divine Tree and how everyone should submit to it's will…or maybe not because those guys were total weirdos and she did not want to be like those guys. But then again they were really successful, she passed a bunch of people on her way, well everyone's way, down the street. They all had to go out in a group, mom said after some discussion with dad, and Mob didn't mind terribly. She would have liked to have been alone with Teru but…but she also wouldn't have…because she just kept on thinking in what ifs…

What if they broke up?

What if they stayed together forever?

What of one of them died?

There were too many what ifs for her. The worst what if was the scenario, any scenario, in which she and Teru broke up. It would hurt, it was the worth kind of hurt that she could ever imagine. Not that she ever wanted to imagine that hurt. She just…did. She just did and then she couldn't stop. Not even for bubble tea….

Which she used to like.

"Hey, talk to me. You've been so…distant…today." Said Teru quietly. They sat together, Sho and Ritsu were off a little ways away from them. Mom said that they had to stay together. They were outside now because it was a nice day, Sho said, and Mob sort of agreed. There was still a bite to the air but most of the snow was long melted. It was that weird space between the seasons. Mob couldn't wait until summer, when the cold was gone, and also summer break was coming and she could see Teru more…unless they broke up…

What was wrong with her?

"I just…I can't stop thinking really dumb thoughts. They don't matter. It's just dumb stuff." Said Mob softly. She held her bubble tea in her hand. Too cold outside for it, she thought, but Sho really liked bubble tea and Ritsu liked what Sho liked and Mob had kind of been boring before so this was what they were doing.

"Such as?" asked Teru. He took a sip of his, strawberry. So was hers. They both liked strawberry…and not just for gum.

"Just…I don't know. I don't want…" said Mob. She stirred her bubble tea with her powers. Boba at the bottom. She had been so distracted that she had forgotten to say that she didn't want any. Not that she didn't like them, she did, but now she knew that they tasted just like…

Her eyes met Teru's.

Then she looked away.

"We can get something else, if you don't want bubble tea…or we can just go somewhere. I mean, it's not like your mom is going to check and see if your brother is still tagging along…right?" asked Teru. He looked around as he said that. Mob wouldn't put it past mom, but then again she was always saying that she had so much to do….

"No, it's not that. I just…I forgot to say that I didn't want boba because….I've just been thinking about something. I don't know, it's not important. It's not even going to happen, maybe. I just…I don't know why I keep on thinking about this." Said Mob. Teru frowns and stares down at his own bubble tea for a while. Mob can hear Ritsu and Sho talking, though about what she does not know. All she knows is that it's still pretty cold outside, her mind is still full of thoughts that she does not want, and she can never have boba again for the rest of her life.

That's all she knows.

So when Teru asks her if she wants to head out somewhere without Ritsu and Sho Mob answers, truthfully, that she does not know. She would like to be alone with him, of course, but she also knows that she and Ritsu will get in trouble if they come home at separate times. Mom was clear that they had to stick together after all and mom got very cross when she was disobeyed. Ritsu, helpfully, brought that up.

"What, you're going to live in fear of your mom for your entire life? Come on, just leave your sister and Hanazawa alone for once. I love you guys but I can't spend one more second in Hanzawa's apartment watching Evangelion. I just…can't…ok? Tell you what, if he breaks her heart or whatever else you're worried about I will personally kick his ass. Sound good?" Mob was very, very, very grateful towards Sho in that moment. So grateful that she offered him her bubble tea, which he took, and drank, and enjoyed.

Ritsu said that Sho could go wherever he wanted and that he was going to do what he was told.

Sho said that he was going home…and also that Ritsu was free to come with him.

That was something new. Mob knew that Ritsu had never been to Sho's house before. Neither of them had been…but it made sense that she had never been invited to his house because she was not his girlfriend or anything like that. She was happy for Ritsu. Very happy. This was a whole new step in their relationship together…which was a good thing. Mob was not worried about Ritsu and Sho being alone or…or about anything else that was not her business. She trusted Ritsu and she trusted Sho and she just wanted everyone to be happy.

And she wanted to be happy, too.

She and Teru were going to be happy together soon, not that they weren't happy now. They were but…they could be happier. Happier in the sense that they would be alone together, not happy in the sense that they were going to eat some of the candies that people kept on offering them. They passed by a group of Divine Tree guys and they kept on trying to get her and Teru to eat some Divine Tree candy. They did not partake, not taking candy from strangers was one of the first things that mom and dad had taught her. Teru didn't, either. Teru said that the whole thing was weird and those guys were just weirdos and to walk faster.

There were a lot of those guys around.

And Mob agreed, they really were weirdos.

"I mean, it's just a tree. Well it's a broccoli tree but it's a tree. I doubt that it's God or whatever those guys think." Teru said once they got to his apartment and got situated. There was music playing, his music this time, and they were sitting in his living room. They were sitting close together and nobody was there to tell them to sit further apart. Not to touch. Not to kiss. Not to act on how they felt. Love. Love was what they shared emotionally and love was what they shared…physically. Not like…that…but she did want to…with him. Stuff. Stuff with him….but the more she did the more she wanted him to do…and there's also that stray thought. The thoughts that…that if they were to break up it would hurt more than anything that she had ever felt…..and she didn't want them to break up…but that thought just did not go away….

"I don't know why I grew it….I didn't mean to, it just happened." Said Mob softly. She felt Teru's arm around her. She rested her head on his chest. His fingers began to reach through her hair and pet her like a cat.

"Shigeko….Mob….is this about those weird Divine Tree guys? This mood that you're in, I mean. I just…I have no idea what I'm supposed to do here…" said Teru

"Do?" asked Mob

"You're upset about something and I just…I have no idea what to do. I mean….whenever a girl would get upset or…you do not want to hear about the asshole I used to be…I'm just worried about you, ok?" said Teru. She saw his aura, she saw his face, and she saw him. She saw him and he looked…upset…too. She hadn't meant to upset him and she hadn't meant to be so upset herself. She just…she did not like thinking like this…

"I didn't mean to make you upset, Teru, I've just been so…weird…lately. I don't know. I heard my parents arguing and stuff and…and I just got to thinking that….that I don't know if we'll be together forever or we'll break up…and I don't want us to break up…and then I got to thinking that it would hurt so much if we broke up…because I love you…and also we did so much…and I keep on thinking about just…that." Said Mob. She knew that she was not making any sense. She knew that she needed to think about what she said before she said it because now everything was just coming out as a series of disjointed words and phrases and half formed ideas and there was no way that he would understand what she meant and-

She was being kissed.

Not deep and fast and hungry. This was soft and short and sweet…and when he tried to pull away she leaned forward. She didn't want to stop. She wanted to keep the feeling, the feeling of love she got from him, and she never wanted him gone. Ever.

"I will never break up with you. I know that…that of course you'd be worried about it….because I was that sort of person….but I'm not just going to…I will never break up with you. When I say I love you I mean it and I just can't believe that you would think! No, calm down Teruki." Said Teru

"You are upset with me…" said Mob

"No….not that, Shigeko. I love you and I could never be upset with you-" said Teru

"It's normal to be upset with the people you love sometimes. My parents get upset with me all the time and sometimes I get upset with Ritsu and one time me and Master Reigen had this fight-" said Mob

"That's not the same, I love you like…I love you and I can't get upset with you. You've never done anything to me worth getting upset about. You being worried that I'm going to break up with you because of the way I acted, before-" said Teru

"I'm not worried about that. I don't care how you were before. I'm just…I love you and I don't want us to ever break up. Just thinking about you breaking with me or mw breaking up with you…it hurts. It hurts a lot and I don't want to think about it but it's just…the thing I'm most afraid of right now. Losing you." Said Mob

"You don't have to worry about losing me because I never want to break up with you. I never want us to break up and I can't imagine anything that you're capable of that would make me want to break up with you." Said Teru. They were quiet, for a moment. If they never broke up then they would be together forever. Mob…she wanted to be with him for as long as she could…but being together forever meant the same as being married…and she had never thought about being married before. Married seemed super far off and vague, like the thought of her going to University or living on her own. She loved Teru and she just…she doesn't know if he's the love of her life.

She keeps on thinking about other people.

And that is not something that you were supposed to do to the love of your life.

They had talked about stray thoughts before. He had them too…so did that mean that she wasn't the love of his life? But he just said that he never wanted them to break up. That meant that he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. That meant that he wanted to marry her. The thought is dizzying. Her and him…married? He loved her and he still wanted to be with her after knowing that she sometimes thought about other people. She still loved him even though she knew that he still sometimes thought about other people.

But married?

That was a lot. They hadn't even been together for a whole year. They still hadn't done so much. She still hadn't made him a bento or shared an umbrella or a bike or…a lot of stuff. They hadn't even been together long enough for cheery blossom season to happen. They has so much to do together before she could even think about forever. Also they were only fourteen and they couldn't get married even if they wanted to.

That was illegal.

It would be a different story when they were adults.

That far off time, that vague sort of far off time, seemed to be closer, then. Him and her…but when they we adults. They would become adults and then they would be all grown up and they could…they could see each other every single day. They could even live together. Nobody could tell them, well her mostly, what to do. He already could do whatever he wanted to do. He was already practically an adult. Maybe that was why he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. He was already practically an adult and that was what adults did….

They were already doing what adults did.

They already did what adults did, sometimes. Not all the things that adults did but a lot of them. She was ready for the things that they did. She was ready for a lot of things but maybe not forever. Not that she was thinking of spending forever with anyone else. The concept of it was just…a lot. Not red light but orange light. She didn't NOT want to marry him but she also didn't think that she was ready for the whole marriage thing….

So that was what she told him.

"I didn't mean that we should get married!" Teru seemed kind of freaked out. So maybe she had just been clueless, again. That should have been a relief. It should have been a load off of her mind that Teru was not thinking so far ahead into their future. But it was not. It…hurt…a little. Like the thought of them being married, when they were adults, was something absurd and unfathomable.

"I didn't mean that either. I just meant….I really, really, really love you and I care about you and I just….I haven't thought that far ahead. I mean, I love you and I want to spend time with you and go on dates and hang out and do…and play games with you…and I do really love you…but that's just…I mean I love you but it's just so far away….you know." Said Teru

"I know. I don't even know why I'm so…weird…lately. I just…maybe because this is so new? I don't understand. I just get so worried sometimes but I don't even know what I want." Said Mob. That was the truth, the whole, and nothing but the truth. She wanted to be with Teru. She wanted to be in love with Teru. She didn't want them to break up but she also didn't want to start to think about growing up, about that far off concept called adulthood.

"I kind of understand what you mean. Sometimes I think about you and how much I love you and I think 'yeah, this is why people get married' but then I also remember that we're not even in high school yet and I don't want to scare you off. Then I sometimes think about how…how I don't really know what I would do if we broke up. There's just a part of me, I guess, that knows that when you realize how amazing you are you'll want to…to find someone who deserves you-" said Teru

"Teru, don't be mean to yourself like that. You deserve me and I deserve you. We deserve each other." Said Mob. She had heard that phrase before and it fit…unless she also remembered the context that she had heard the phrase in. She had heard that in a movie, once, when the two bad guys ended up getting together. But that didn't mean that she and Teru deserved each other because they were bad people. No, they deserved each other because they were good people. He had changed for her, he used to be kind of mean, and she would always love him for that. She was working on being less of an awkward person, someone who was better socially, someone more like the sort of girl who he deserved. He said that she was pretty and popular and stuff but she didn't always feel like it.

"But in a good way." said Teru. Mob nodded.

"Of course in a good way. I would never be mean to you, Teru. I love you. I only want to make you happy." Said Mob. Teru leaned over and kissed her. He kissed her on the corner of her mouth and made his way over to her ear. She leaned into his kisses. She leaned so far in that she got overbalanced and fell onto him. He held her close and pressed his lips to her ear.

"You know...it's not that often that we're left alone…so can I….make you…happy?" asked Teru softly, so softly, that Mob couldn't have heard him if he wasn't so very close. But he was so very close. He was right there and so was she and they were there together…

So why not be together.

She kissed him. He got her meaning. Green light. This was green light. Him, her, his couch, all of it. It was green light when his hand found her hair and ran through it over and over again. He was making tangles but Mob was not going to stop him any time soon. With each pass through her hair she felt her a tingling sort of feeling spread from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She could feel the feelings spreading away from her. Her powers were trying to lift things, toss things, break things, but she didn't let them.

Not even when his teeth found her pulse point.

Not even when his hands made their way under her shirt.

Not even when he, eventually, managed to undo her bra.

She was proud of herself, there, that she was playing the quiet game so well. Not that she had to play, they were all alone, but they wouldn't always be. He was right, it was not that often that they were left alone. These times, the times when they'd play games, usually came at her house. In her room. Even in the living room. She had to learn to be quiet or they'd get caught…again. The next time it might not be Ritsu, which was bad, but her mom, which would have been a thousand times worse. She never wanted to get caught while she and Teru were doing…this…so she played the quiet game.

He didn't.

He was alternating between telling her he loved her and asking her if this was ok with her. She had told him, before, that he didn't have to ask every ten seconds. Now he was at least asking every time he did something new. Right now he was asking as he kissed his way down her chest. Her shirt and bra were somewhere, she'd find them later. Right now she was focused on the path that he was kissing down her chest. She could feel his spit being left behind but she didn't care. This felt too good to be germy.

It felt really good.

She could feel her powers reaching around and she did her best to make them be quiet. The books on his shelf had fallen to the floor at some point but that was about it. Well the light above them was a little brighter but she was doing better…she really was. Even when he kissed his way down to her breast and just sort of…stopped. He just stopped there and asked her if this was ok. It was ok, she had no problem with this…but she also wanted him to…

Was it ok to just ask?

It wasn't that often that they were left alone. It wasn't that often that the two of them could get anywhere near close to what she wanted with him right now. She wanted….she wanted him to keep moving down…like she had thought about…but then she wouldn't be able to be quiet…and also she didn't know if she could just…ask him to. The whole thing felt like it would be awkward, which made no sense because he had touched her there more times than she could count, now. He had touched her and she had touched him and he had…he had kissed her there…and she had kissed him there…so why not just ask? Why did she have to be so awkward?

"What's wrong? I can stop if you want me to. Really we can-" said Teru

"If I want us to stop I'll tell you. I just…I want you to…I don't know how to say this…without being awkward." said Mob. Teru sat up. That was the direct opposite of what she wanted him to do. The room shook with her exasperation. Great, and she had lost the quiet game, too.

"I think that you and I are well past the point of awkwardness." Said Teru. Mob nodded. That made sense. They had done a lot, including this, already so she had no reason to feel awkward like this.

"You're right. I just…is it ok if I ask you to do something? I mean I'll do it for you, too, I just…there's this thing that you did that I think about a lot and we're…we're never alone together…and I think that it's an alone together thing…because it was bad enough when we got walked in on while you were…with your fingers…and this would be even more embarrassing to be caught doing…not because of you! Just because I don't want anyone to…see…" said Mob. She was red now. Red as a tomato with a sunburn. She crossed her arms over her chest even though Teru had seen her all the way naked before. She had no reason to feel embarrassed but she just kind of…did…

His eyes moved downwards, quickly, and then back to her face. She crossed her legs at the ankle, grateful that she still had her skirt and stuff on. Why was she so self-conscious? It was just Teru…he had seen it all before…and touched it…and licked it…and made her feel so **amazing**…

"I think I know what you want…and yes. Shigeko…Mob…I already told you. I will touch you wherever you want and I will…kiss…you wherever you want." Said Teru. He said 'kiss' like he was eating the word. It made her forget how to breath for a moment. That moment passed, of course, and then her lungs decided to compensate by working double time. She was breathing like she had just run a marathon even though she was just sitting on the couch…and he was kissing his way down…

He pushed her back, a little, so that she was laying down on his impossibly comfortable couch. She reached behind herself and spread her hair out so she wasn't laying on it. She could see the ceiling, now. There were cracks in it. She wondered if those had been her fault. Or maybe they had happened on the rare times when he lost control. Would he lose control again when she did this to him? She wanted him to. She wanted to be the only one playing the quiet game. She wanted to know that he felt good. She wanted…she wanted him to feel as good as he made her feel…

And it did feel good.

Amazing.

He kissed her there, right above the nubby thing, and she couldn't help the way her hips pushed forwards. Her skirt and underwear had been lost to the abyss as he kissed his way down her chest, her stomach, across her thighs, and down to her…place…and he was there now and he was…he was teasing her…her hips kept on rising up to meet him but he just…he kept on kissing her everywhere but where she wanted him to…

"You want me to go straight for your weak spot?" asked Teru in a tone that made Mob feel like he was making a statement, not asking a question. Well it was a statement. Of course she wanted him to go straight for her weak spot, the spot that made her come undone. The last time he had been there he had been able to make her come undone almost immediately. That was what she wanted. She hadn't been alone with him in so long and all she wanted then, in that moment, was to come undone right there on his couch in his apartment with him buried in between her legs.

"I know you do, Shigeko, I know you do…" said Teru. Then he kissed her, but not where she wanted. He kissed her on her inner thigh…hard…and it hurt…but it was a good kind of hurt. Like when he kissed her neck but…better. Sensitive. Why were her inner thighs so sensitive? And how had she gone almost fifteen years without knowing just how sensitive they were?

She wanted to cry out but she didn't.

Her powers wanted to reach out but she wouldn't let them.

She did, however, reach down and run her hands through his hair. It was shorter than hers, much shorter, and not as soft but it was still nice. It was still nice because it was his and this was him and he was…oh. That was his hand…and it was moving up…and he was touching…everything but what she wanted…

He dragged his tongue over the spot where he kissed her. Then he paused for a moment. Mob opened her eye and tried to sit up as best as she could. He had his sleeve pulled down and he had written something in…not in Japanese….on his arm.

He looked up at her and pulled his sleeve down quickly.

"Sorry! Just…um….checking something!" said Teru. He was red now, very red, and he was looking everywhere but at her. Mob hoped that it wasn't important, but it probably was. She wrote things down on her arms too, sometimes. Important things.

"N-No, it's not important. I just wrote down some….notes…I guess. I mean, I had no idea that you would want to do this today but I…I wanted to figure some way to be alone with you today…and I took some general notes on things that you might…like…so I'm sorry." said Teru.

"What are you sorry about? I don't understand. You want me to feel good so you researched. Teru…that was really nice of you and all but really if you just touch the nubby thing then I'll feel good. It's not as…complicated…as it was with you…" said Mob softly. Teru looked at her for a while. He cycled through so many expressions that Mob couldn't even name them. He settled on perplexed after a while.

"That's really all you want? I mean…I want you to feel good, really good…" said Teru

"You do, you really do. I like the things that you do. Really, I'm not lying. It's just not very complicated for me. Just so long as you touch me there then I'm fine." Said Mob

"I know you like that but I just…I want it to be better for you. I wanted it to be better so I did some research….real research! Not like…um…art movies…or anything like that. I mean I actually read some stuff about what feels good for girls and-" said Teru

"But I'm telling you right now what I like." Said Mob. She knew her own body and she knew what felt good. She had lived in her body for her entire life, if there was something new to discover then she would have discovered it. She knew the fastest way to finish and the two of them didn't have all night. She was due home eventually and then she had no idea when the two of them would be left alone, truly alone, again.

"I know that you're telling me but I can…it can be better. I mean back at New Year's when I…was inside of you…not like that! Just…you said that I didn't like it. I just…I want you to like it so I Googled and they said that it just took girls more time to…to get used to it…and that it was harder for you to finish like that…and I wanted to make it good for you…" said Teru

"Oh." Said Mob. That was what this was about. It hadn't felt bad, not at all, just not that good. Why did it matter how she finished? Just that she finished, that was the thing that mattered. Well that he finished too. There were two people there to think about. She had to make him feel good, too, and if it made him feel good to know that he was making her feel good like that…but why did it matter how he…?

She glanced down.

Right.

That.

She had no idea how his…how he was even supposed to fit inside of her but it was supposed to feel good. Really good. The best. But if it didn't feel good when he did it with his fingers then how was…his…how was it supposed to feel good when it was the real thing. Maybe it wouldn't. She had heard that it hurt the first time, probably because it took a while for it to…fit. Logically she knew that people were meant to fit together in that way, and also that babies came from there, but she just couldn't wrap her mind around how something like that was supposed to fit inside of her.

"Is 'oh' good or…" asked Teru.

"It isn't good or bad. I just meant that I was thinking. I understand why you want me to feel good like that and…and we can try again. I want to make you feel good and if it feels good to you to make me feel good like that then…then we can try again…" said Mob softly

"Only if you want to-" said Teru

"But I don't know how you're going to fit inside of me, though." said Mob. That had been the most pressing question that she had gotten out of this. How did it…work? Well she was fourteen, obviously she knew HOW it all worked…in theory….but this was not theory. This was fact and it was going to be a fact that the two of them would do…that…eventually…and it would feel good…maybe….

Also maybe she had said the wrong thing.

Because Teru had stopped breathing.

And he was looking at her like she was terrifying and…and also like he loved her…which was a weird combination Mob thought. She was about to apologize for saying the wrong thing when he began to make noise like he was trying to say something. It took him a few tries, just a few, before he found his voice.

"…we can do that….if you want…" said Teru finally remembering how to talk.

"I didn't mean right now, I meant…in the future. Right now I just want…what we were doing before. I liked it. I just thought that you were trying to…to make me feel good…like that…because we're going to have sex. Not now but in the future. I don't know. I think about it a lot and I think about how I don't really know what to do and I just…when we do I want you to be happy…" said Mob

"I…I want you to be happy, too, when we do end up doing….that. I didn't mean to make you think that I was planning on us doing…that…right now. I just want to make you feel good, that's all…and you asked me to…you know what? I'll just do it the way you like it. Why fix what's not broken?" said Teru with a laugh.

"Oh. Ok. I'd like that a lot. I can do it to you, too, when I'm done. I know how much you liked it before…" said Mob. Now it was her turn to turn red. She laughed a little, just a little, because they had just had bubble tea and it tasted like bubble tea and she didn't know why this was so funny, just that it was…

And that was what she told Teru.

He thought that she was laughing at him. She wasn't. She was just laughing at the fact that boba tasted just like when he…yeah. When she told him that he turned a weird color and said that he was never going to get boba again. Mob could understand that. She felt the same way. Food should not taste like that. Thank God it was bob and not something she couldn't live without, like milk. If it tasted like milk she didn't know what she would do.

He said that he would eat a bunch of pineapple, next time, because the internet said that if he ate a lot of pineapple then…it…would taste better.

Then he said sorry about her accidentally having to taste…it. Which made no sense. He had tasted hers before, which tasted kind of like onions but not in a bad way, he said, because he liked onions and he liked her and he had spent so much time imaging eating her…and then he apologized for that, too, and at that point Mob had had enough apologizing. Saying sorry was ok, sometimes, but not all the times. Especially for things that were not problems.

Like him doing…that…to her.

She had no problem with that.

When she told him that she had no problem with him eating her, and in fact would have enjoyed it, his face lit up like it was Christmas morning. She wondered what he got out of it. She liked making him feel good but she hadn't been as…enthusiastic…as he was. And he was very enthusiastic. She was, too, actually. More than usual.

She had trouble keeping quiet.

She could feel her powers trying to push away from her. To break something. To move something. She felt herself reaching into the walls and touching the electricity inside. She could feel herself smashing against the ceiling and walls and floor and furniture. She even had to cover her mouth to keep from crying out because it was just so amazing!

Even if he didn't go right for the nubby thing.

He was teasing her again. He would go for the place she liked for a little bit. He'd run his tongue across it, press down on it, he even bit it a little which actually had felt kind of nice…but then he went back to kissing her thighs….or kissing down lowers and even trying to tongue stab her…there…

Which had felt kind of weird.

Not as weird as fingers but still weird.

Fingers were starting to feel better, actually. Instead of just jamming them in and out, which he tended to do, he sort of….lingered? Felt around? Just sort of just…felt around instead of just going in and out, in and out, like he was trying to start a fire or something. Also he only did two and that was….good…especially when they were clustered close together…and he was sucking on the nubby thing while he…pressed around…and then…

She lost the quiet game.

Also the cracks in the ceiling got worse.

There were white flecks of plaster…everywhere. It was like it had snowed inside. She would have sat up and fixed it if she could. But she couldn't. Her bones were made of jelly. She was just a pile of jelly…happy jelly. The happiest of jellies. The kind with the smiling cat holding a piece of jellied toast on the label…no. Happier. How did Teru…well the internet told him how, obviously. She wanted to return the favor, she did, but she could not get up. She had fused with his couch. She was a jelly stain on his couch, like the one on her couch at home from the time she dropped her toast jelly side down...she needed to return the favor…she needed to make him feel good, too...she tried to sit up but she couldn't…she could only lay there.

What was that?

She had finished before but never that…hard? It was intense. Maybe because it was him…and he had been doing two different things to her…things that she hadn't tried herself…and it had been so intense. It was like a knot had formed inside of her and just got tighter and tighter until it got too tight and flew apart…or something. She had felt that in every single muscle of her body…and it was amazing…

And Teru was still looking at her.

He probably wanted her to make him feel this good…

"I-I'm sorry. I just can't…move." Said Mob. Teru did that thing where he started a million and one sentences at once. It took him not too long to settle on what he wanted to say, though, which was nice. It was in Japanese, too, which she could understand a lot better than German.

"….you have no idea how attractive you are right now…" said Teru finally finding the words that he wanted to say, it seemed. Mob figured that it was because she was naked and all…spread out…on his couch. He was still wearing most of his clothes. His shirt had been cast aside at some point so he was just in his pants and socks and underwear and stuff.

She reached down, lower, to the button of his pants. Her arm was still kind of limp…and she was tired…and but she had to make him feel good, too, and then she had to do her best to fix the mess that she had made. She had lost the quiet game so badly…but at least it had happened when they were alone. If she had felt anything this intense at her own house mom and dad would have most certainly noticed. That would have most certainly been awful and embarrassing...most certainly. She knew that she should have been embarrassed now, she was all sweaty and gross and naked, but she was…used to this. To him seeing her naked. It was…nice.

"You don't have to-" said Teru. He always said that when she tried to make him feel good. She knew that she didn't have to, she wanted to. She was not a selfish person. She wanted to make him just as happy as he made her. He was her boyfriend not one of those people who you paid to do sex stuff to you. This was mutual and loving and everything good and right that could exist between two human beings.

"I want to. If you'll let me…I want to make you feel good…as good as you made me feel…and I'm sorry…too…" said Mob

"Sorry? For what? The couch? I'll just get out the upholstery cleaner later and-" said Teru

"No…I mean for losing the quiet game. It's this game that I thought up where I...I practice being quiet…so that we don't get caught…and also so I don't break things with my powers. I lost." Said Mob

"You…that's very considerate of you…but we're all alone. You can be as loud as you want. I really have no problem with that…actually I like it." Said Teru. His voice got kind of low at the end, the kind of low that made Mob all nervous from the tips of her fingers to the tips of her toes. She laughed, a little, a nervous sort of laugh. One that didn't sound much like a laugh at all. Teru didn't seem to mind.

"Really, I don't mind it…if we're alone. I guess I can see your point, your mother would probably be…unhappy…if she knew everything that we got up to, but we're alone now…so you don't have to do…that." Said Teru

"Even though I can be loud and also I mess up your apartment sometimes?" asked Mob

"I don't care if it gets messed up, I can always clean it up later. You're what, who, I care about, Shigeko. Mob. I don't care about the mess or the neighbors hearing or anything. I just care about you…and how happy I can make you." Said Teru. He still said it in that low sort of voice he did sometimes, the kind that made her all nervous. She was so nervous that she could feel herself beginning to lift up off of the couch. It was a good sort of nervous, the kind that she would not have minded feeling for the rest of her life. She loved the ways, all the ways, that he made her feel.

And he loved the ways that she made him feel.

He laid himself on top of her, but not all the way or he would have squished her, and he kissed her. One kiss turned to two and then to three and then four and then Mob stopped counting. She stopped counting and she just let herself feel. She felt the weight of him partially on her, to keep her from floating away she imagined, she felt the softness of his skin under her hands as she dragged them up and down his back, she felt his hands in her hair and her face and her neck and her chest and really any skin that he could get to.

She felt him.

When he reached a particularly good spot, his nails dragging lightly across her neck and his tongue against her, she arched up into him. She didn't mean to, it had largely been instinct. He seemed to like it though, she may have not been the best at reading people but she could tell that Teru liked it by the way that took a dep breath, held it, and then cursed as he let it out. She never cursed, ever, but she felt like it right then and there in that moment. It had felt good knowing that she had made him feel good. It made her feel really good. Physically and emotionally. So of course she did it again.

And again.

And again.

He was digging his nails into her shoulders now. His face was buried in the crook of her neck. She could feel his pants against her…place…and it felt nice. Sort of. She wished, and she knew that she was getting carried away again, that there wasn't that layer between them. That they could…not have sex…but do this…but more…even…if that was the word for it. After all, she was naked and he was not. That was not even at all.

"I can feel you through my fucking pants…." Said Teru breathlessly against her. Mob stopped moving for a moment. Could she…could she just ask him? She wanted…she didn't want to push him into doing anything…or to misread the situation….but how many ways could she possibly be misreading the situation?

"You don't have to….wear pants…if you don't want to…" said Mob softly. The words were slippery, squirmy, and hard to catch. Like trying to catch a greased up cat…maybe…but how would you manage to get a cat all greased up? Well even if it didn't make any sense that was what it felt like. She didn't know. Somethings were hard to express. She wondered if she had said it right, to him, what she asked. If she had expressed herself right, because maybe there were a million and one ways to misread this situation and she had probably found the worst one and now he'd think that she was weird and-

"Not sex?" asked Teru softly. Mob shook her head.

"Not sex. Just this." said Mob just as softly. She wondered why they were whispering. Well, it did fit the situation.

"I want to…if you're ok with this." said Teru

"I'm the one who asked, aren't I? Teru, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do." Said Mob running a hand through his hair. He took a few deep breaths. She wondered if she had done something wrong or said something wrong or just plain overstepped. She was about to take back the whole thing when she saw his aura glow brighter than it had been before. She could feel it against hers, his aura, and she could feel his powers pushing against her…lower…lower…

Oh. He was undoing his pants.

This was a thing that was happening.

Ok then.

He asked her again, once he was all the way undressed, if this was what she wanted. She told him that she hadn't changed her mind but that it was ok if he changed his. He could change his mind whenever he wanted to, that was fine. He hadn't changed his mind, though, not at all. He was worried, though, because he thought that she might get pregnant from this. That made no sense, of course, because he had to actually be inside of her to get her pregnant. Mob wasn't an expert on these things but she at least knew that. Also mom made her take medicine for that so it wasn't something that she needed to worry about. So they were ok. Good to go and do…whatever this was called. She'd look it up later. There were a million and one words for things like this and Mob hardly knew any.

She knew that it felt good, though.

The way he felt on top of her. The way that he felt against, not inside, of her. The way that he told her he loved her. The weird little noises that he made, well both of them but she liked the ones he made, when she arched up to meet him. This was…

Closeness.

Intimacy.

Sweaty.

And short.

The whole thing had been very short. Mob counted to twenty two, she didn't know what she was counting or why she had started counting to begin with, before he went really fast against her, told her that he loved her, and then just sort of stopped and slumped down onto her. He kissed her, once, and told her that he loved her so much…and also that he was sorry. Mob knew what he was sorry about but she didn't know why. She wanted him to finish, that was the point of this whole thing. To feel good…and it had felt good. Up until the end that is. Now it was kind of awkward with him being there on top of her, the two of them being naked, and…what was between them. It had felt nice, though, and it still was.

Sticky. This was sticky, too.

But nice.

Even though they both lost the quiet game that time.


	7. Not Any Sort of Game At All

It's not a game, it's for real.

All of it.

For a while Mob thought that maybe they were playing hide and seek. Teru suddenly dropped right off the face of the Earth one day. Just…gone. He didn't return any of her texts, her calls, and he wasn't at his apartment when she checked for him.

Just gone.

Then a lot of other people were gone, too.

Then everyone was gone.

Then the tree had to go.

That tree, that terrible tree. She didn't know why she grew that tree, it had been an accident, but accident or not that did not absolve her from her responsibility for what happened. For everyone disappearing. The tree ate people, not literally, but it took them inside of its self for energy…and it had done that to everyone she cared about in this world.

Including him.

Teru.

The person she loved and was loved by in return. She should have gone looking for him, for everyone, but she hadn't. She had been caught up in her own negative thoughts, thoughts that she had been avoided and rejected. Thoughts that he had stopped loving her. Thoughts that everyone had stopped caring about her. Well those were just thoughts. They were not reality.

Reality was much worse than whatever had been going through her mind.

But that was over now.

Everything was over. Everyone had been freed from the spell of the Divine Tree as it called itself. Mob much preferred to call it the Giant Evil Friend Stealing Loved One Eating Broccoli but that one wasn't nearly as catchy. It didn't matter what the tree was called, it was gone now. Gone never to return.

It was over.

But this was just beginning.

Or maybe it had been begun for some time. It must have started before this, before this moment in time. Before she took a very shaken Teru home. Before she opened his apartment door for him and they were hit with the smell of dust and stale air. Before he clung to her and just started sobbing. Before she clung to him and just started sobbing right back until the two of them were practically drowning in the salty sea of their tears. Him crying for forgetting her, her crying for having lost him. Him and everyone, though she is not thinking of everyone right now. She isn't thinking of how she just lost…well she won but she lost…she's not thinking about that.

Or how easily she had forgotten and been forgotten. But there was no forgetting now, none at all. There was no way that she was going to ever forget this. Every single moment of this will be forever ingrained into her mind, etched into her memory. Flesh and blood and skin and bone will be forever etched into her mind clear as a photograph. No, not a photograph. A photograph has only to do with one sense. This had to do with every sense.

Sight.

Sound.

Taste.

Touch.

Smell.

And the sixth sense that they both share. Auras. Yellow is bonded now with pink and blue. She can see him and feel him and taste him and touch him and it's all just so…unforgettable. Neither of them is going to forget what they've started, had started, had started for quite some time now. Started with a first kiss, a first look, a first touch. Those shaky sorts of moments filled with apologies that were unneeded, permission that was always heeded, and a sense of nervousness that until now was undefeated. But they did defeat it. They defeated all nervousness the minute they walked through that door and into the dusty, dark, privacy of his apartment.

Privacy had always been in short supply.

But now they found themselves with a surplus of it. Her parents were still dazed and confused, her brother had the love of his life to tend to, and Master Reigen was at home 'sleeping it all off' as he said. The world was small and dark and dusty but private. Built for two. She had no idea how long this would last. She had no idea when her parents could come to their senses and wonder about their only daughter's whereabouts. She has no idea when her only brother will realize that he's too far to protect his only sister, the sister that he believes needs his protection. Well she doesn't. She doesn't need anyone's protection or prying eyes in what she is about to do…is doing…has been doing…

Neither of them would have any recollection of who kissed first.

When they would look upon this later, always with fondness, neither of them would remember who kissed first. They were wrapped up in each other, arms and auras and emotions and s simmering sort of need, of want, of desire all bubbling up between them like a pot of milk left on the stove for too long. Crying and cuddles turned to kisses. Short ones, chaste ones, ones that said 'I am so happy that you're alive', 'don't ever go again', and the ever popular 'I love you'. Soon those chaste kisses, things given with closed mouths and dry lips, gave way to other sorts of kisses. These kisses spoke their own language, carried their own meanings. Meanings like 'please' and 'yes' and 'more'. Meanings that carried them over to the long neglected couch. Meanings that caused clouds of dust to swirl in the air as they tumbled down, together, onto that space formerly reserved for sitting. That space which had been the spot of many a nervous, fumbling, game between them.

But this was not a game.

Nobody was playing. This was real. There was no pretext of gum behind those kisses they shared. Clothes came off without the necessity of the television. Hands tranced and tracked and explored without anyone calling out 'green light'. Neither of them needed to. Those words had been spoken, those games had been played, and now it was time to end playtime. They were not children and had not been for some time. If Mob were to be asked when she had stopped being a child she would have said that first night when she had fought Claw for not only her life but the lives of those she loved most in their world. If Teru were to be asked when he stopped being a child he would have answered the first night had had spent all alone.

But nobody was asking.

There was no need to ask. They were not children and they were not acting as children. They had gone from childhood into adolescence and played those fumbling little games that adolescents played. Those games were done now. The time had come to be adults and act as adults did. She was ready. He was ready. This came without words. This came without games. This came without any sort of pretext. If Mob had to describe it in one word she could have used 'primal', a word learned ages ago in a vocabulary lesson. A word which she was sure that her teacher had never intended for her to use in this way. But the word fit. Primal. That was the only way to describe it.

It came without pretext.

There was no time to plan out what she would have done. No time to chase away the shaky sort of nervous which always came up when these things did. No time for that shaky sort of nervous, societal conditioning against doing what it was that she was doing, to rear its unwanted head. Once she went tumbling onto that couch with him instinct took over. She just…didn't care. She didn't care that her clothes were old and comfortable and also filthy. She didn't care that her hair was a mess and full of not only dirt but salt from when she dropped that awful broccoli tree into the ocean. She didn't care that she must have looked terrible and smelled terrible.

She just did not care.

She only cared for Teru. Seeing more of him. Kissing more of him. Touching more of him. Having more of herself being kissed and touched and seen and smelled and tasted and heard and whatever other sensory expression there were to be had. That was all that mattered. Him. Her. Love. Trust. The two of them together, alone, in this dark and dusty world built for two.

"Shigeko." He says her name over and over again as she kissed her way down his chest. His shirt has been long abandoned, so has hers. Abandoned to the maelstrom around them. Her powers. His. Together. She's tired but not drained. Maybe her powers sense the excitement she feels and interpret it as danger. Maybe she is in danger. Maybe she's in danger of going too far, of letting things get out of hand. But right now there is not too far or out of hand. There will never be any sense of too far or too out of hand again.

She wants this.

"Teru." She says his name, too, in earnest. His hands are everywhere. Her hair, her back, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, the short curly hair at the junction of her legs. He's tracing his hands across her body aimlessly. She doesn't care. She's kissing her way across his chest, up to his neck, across his face, to his lips, and then back down again. She tastes dirt. She tastes sweat. She tastes broccoli. She tastes Teru. She can feel him, his pulse, under her lips as she kisses the space over his heart. She can feel him like the rain that falls so sweetly, sometimes, against her skin. Beat, beat, beat…sweet but fast. She's always enjoyed it, the rain. The feel of it against her skin. Well she can feel him now like the rain that falls so sweetly, so quickly, so perfectly and she wants to feel more of him. Her lips go up from his heart and to the pulse point right there on his neck. She kisses there softly. She kisses him so softly that she's scarcely sure that he can even feel it. So she kisses harder, and harder, and harder until she is sure, totally sure, that she's left an unsightly mark but she does not care. His arms are wrapped around her now, his hands rest on her shoulders. The room shudders. His doing.

She kisses him harder and harder, her teeth even make an appearance. As soon as they do something shatters. He tells her not to worry. He tells her not to stop. He tells her that he loves her. He tells her that he will never forget her again. He tells her that she is perfection. He tells her that she is everything good in this world.

He tells her that he wants her.

She tells him that she wants him right back.

That last part isn't said with words. It's said with him putting more of his weight on her. It's said with her leaning back until she's laying down on her back. Pillows have to be tossed off of the couch. Some more dust swirls into the air. Dust swirls in the maelstrom that she, that they, have created. The room is chaos. The room is a hurricane of books and clothes and pillows and blankets and dust and dirt and all sorts of knickknacks and bric-a-brac and other such things with funny names that Mob can't remember at the moment. The only thing that she knows, the only thing that she wants to know, in this moment, is that she loves him. She loves Teru. She loves him with every single fiber of her being and if she could she would take this moment of their existence and stretch it out so that it can last for the rest of their lives.

This moment that they spend together, alone, in this world built for two.

She was on her back, now, looking up at him. She was trying to remember him. He was trying to do the same, it seemed. He was breathing hard, so hard, and so was she. She knew what she wanted and in that moment she had never wanted anything more in her entire life. Her legs, which had laid parted at either side of him, crossed behind his back.

Instinct.

Her hips were raised from their leisurely rest on his couch.

Instinct.

Her arms wrapped around his back as her legs wrapped around his waist.

Instinct.

He kisses her. He kisses her so warmly, so deeply, that she swears that she can feel herself melting into him. She swears that when they meet there it's almost as if they meet everywhere. She can see her aura bleeding into his, or maybe his aura is bleeding into her, or maybe nobody it bleeding at all. She has thoughts of blood, vague things that she's head about what's supposed to happen the first time, but they don't take any hold in her mind. She doesn't care. She doesn't care about anything but the feel of him on top of her, around her. The way that his skin feels against her inner thighs, the way his chest feels against her breasts, the way that he feels as he hovers right at the outside of her entrance…

She raises her hips.

Instinct.

He lowers his.

Instinct.

And then she feels everything. Every feeling that she has ever known races through her mind. She feels smothered. She feels alone. She feels pleasure. She feels a slight pain. She feels safe. She wants to run away. She feels warm. Her blood is running cold. She wants this to go on forever. She wishes that she had never met him. She feels invincible. She feels more vulnerable than she ever has in her entire life.

She vocalizes all of these feelings. They're still kissing, haven't stopped once, and she vocalizes everything that she's feeling into that kiss. Then they break apart for air and freedom of movement, both are needed more in that moment than they have ever been needed in her life, she vocalizes her feels out loud. Words, portions and parts of them. Noises primal and instinctual. Begging. Pleading. Desperate noises.

Don't go.

Don't stop.

Don't ever stop.

Because she doesn't want him to. She wants this to go on forever but, paradoxically, she wants it to be over. It's just right and too much at the same time. He is inside of her. A part of him is inside of a part of her. They were two people but now they are one person. They are still two people but joined together. How can they ever be apart again? How will they ever be apart after they've been so close?

Something lands on her forehead.

A tear.

He's crying.

And now she can feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as well. These aren't tears of sorrow or relief like they were before. No, these were tears of…intimacy. Joy. Vulnerability. Everything good and everything not so good but nothing bad, nothing at all bad, because something that felt this good could never be bad.

She closes her eyes and lets herself feel.

She lets herself feel him inside of her. This is different than before. This is not fingers. This is thicker than fingers…and longer….and it's not entirely comfortable. Occasionally it feels good, so good, but also occasionally it does not. The real pleasure comes when she raises her hips a little and that part of her, the part that likes this attention, gets the attention it craves. Then it feels good, so good, so very good. She lets herself feel good. She lets herself feel his skin against hers. She lets herself feel him against her inner thighs, her breasts, her stomach, his hands knotted in her hair. His breath against the side of her neck. All of it.

It's everything that they've ever done at the exact same time and it's utterly perfect.

But all good things must come to an end. As quick as it started, it seems, it ends. He gasps out her name along with some words that she cannot begin to understand and then he moves faster. Harder. Erratically. The fledgling rhythm that they have is over. Now it seems that he may not even be acting of his own accord. Instinct. He's moved like this before, when they've played their little games, but this is real.

Also it's warm.

And uncomfortably slimy.

All of mom's lectures about proper protection and never being to be sure where someone's been go out the window when he climbs off of her. In their place is a sense of slickness, sliminess, and a small amount of blood she discovers as she sits up. Not a lot, she's seen worse, but enough of it mixed with…him…there on his couch to break her out of whatever spell that she had found herself under.

They've done it.

They've had sex.

It's a thing that has happened.

And she's suddenly conscious of the fact that she is naked. Of the fact that her powers have destroyed his apartment. Of the fact that she's probably blown the power to the entire apartment, if not the entire building. Of the sweat and other fluids she's covered in. Of the space within her that he had just occupied. She sits up and tries to scoot back. She needs to put her clothes on. She can feel herself being looked at. She needs to cover herself because she's just been laid bare before him.

She doesn't know where this feeling is coming from.

He's not complaining. Not about his couch or his apartment or anything. He's just looking at her. He's staring at her and she cannot begin to read his expression. It seems, amazingly enough, like a combination of every single expression that a person could ever have. She wants him to say something or do something or…something…because this has been a lot. This has been a lot and she loves him so much but she's also so naked and-

His hand meets hers.

Then the rest of him does.

And he holds her. He holds her so tight. He's naked. She's naked. He doesn't seem to care and she stops caring, too. She needed this. She needed to be touched by him, to be held by him. She doesn't know how she'll ever be able to carry on without him again. How will they ever be able to come apart after being as close as two human beings could possibly be?

She doesn't know.

All she knows is that there, in that moment, she is loved. She is loved and she loves him and it's real. It's not a game, none of it has been. It's all been real.

And wonderful.


End file.
